January 29, 1996 – Monday – 11:40 p.m.


An amazing day!

My classes were fun.  I have my two Dr. D. classes in the morning and she always makes me feel special.  She admires that I want to be a realistic actor; my Bearclaw rehearsals have been going great as well.

But tonight was amazing.  Murrell and Curtis were going skiing, I had a lot of homework to do but I figured it wouldn’t be winter forever, so I went with them to Sugar Mountain.

It was my first time skiing!  What an amazing thing!  I tell ya, I can fly like the wind, but when it comes to stopping, I am really bad.

Murrell is really a lot of fun.  I’m glad she is my friend.

Ross and John went with us.  They live down the hall on my floor.

It’s been a great day.

Thank you Father.


January 27, 1996 – Saturday – 6:35 p.m.

I’ve gotten a lot of reading done today.  And just now I was sitting here on my bed looking out my window.  And I wondered….do people really know me?  When I’m around other people, I’m always talking and laughing, but when it’s just me… I am quiet.

It’s just me.  Just me and myself.

Perhaps I am my own best friend.

I wonder if there will ever be a person on this planet who will know the real me.

Or I am the only one who gets to?

January 26, 1996 – Friday – 10:30 a.m.

Well, it’s Superbowl Weekend!

Last night Dan, Allen, Vince, Curtis, and Jennifer and I went to Sharon’s Bible Study.  It was so much fun.  We were there until midnight.  I see Laura as a friend now and nothing more.  Thank you Father.

So, on the 8th day of March Curtis and I are driving down to Atlanta.  I’ll leave the next morning from the airport and arrive in Phoenix.  From the 9th to the 16th I will be in Arizona.

I called my mom this morning to tell her.  She got excited because she and the other employees were talking about setting me up with one woman’s daughter.  They all thought it was fate that I called at that moment.  So, mom gave me the address for a girl named Mandy.  I guess I’ll write her.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face.  I love Jesus.  He is so good to me.  I have wonderful friends, a wonderful church, I’m doing a show, and I’m going out west for the first time.

I couldn’t ask for more.

Well, actually I could.  I wish Jenna and Tenielle were here.  I wish they could go with me to Arizona.  I wrote to Tenielle, but she hasn’t responded yet.  Their phone has been disconnected.

I’m on duty this weekend, but that pleases me.  There is a lot of work I have to do.

Things are great, but I still wonder.

Who is dreaming of me.

I am an eagle, searching for a tree.

January 25, 1996 – Thursday – 2:45 p.m.

Yesterday was dull.  I was down.  Then I got a call from Brandon and he asked me when my Spring Break was.  I said the week of March 11th.  We made some small talk about me coming out there to visit like we always do.  It’s been three years since he moved to Arizona.  Every time we talk on the phone, we always talk about seeing each other somehow.  But we were simply dreaming a winter dream.

However, yesterday as we spoke, he said very plainly:  “You need to come out here man, because I need a best man.”

At first I didn’t catch what he said, but then it hit me.

“A best man!  What are you talking about?”

This went on for a few minutes, but I eventually realized my best friend who moved away is now getting married.  Well, to make a long story short, I went to Noah’s Ark travel in town and right now next to me is my dresser is a round trip ticket to Arizona during Spring Break.

Little me is going out west on a plane.

I got a cheap ticket for only $200.  The Lord has blessed me.  The plane leaves from Atlanta.  Curtis will take me since he lives in Atlanta.

I’m finally doing it.

I don’t really have the money, but Brandon is getting married.  I’m going to go meet his future wife.

January 23, 1996 – Tuesday – 8:00 p.m.

It’s Tuesday night.  I’m on Duty.  Morrell, Kate, Allison, and Curtis have gone skiing.  Charlie, Dan, Vince, and Allen have gone bowling.  Jeff and Michael have gone to get something to eat.

I am here alone, in an empty dorm.  All my friends are gone.

Last night I went alone to see Seven at the dollar theater in Boone.  It was great, but also sick.  It was well worth a dollar just to see the credits roll in the opposite direction.

When Allison heard that I went to the movies alone, she said that I needed a girl.  I guess she was right, but the statement made me feel really lonely.

I have tons of great friends, but no one to hold me.  What happened to you Emily?  Where are you?  I miss Syndi.  She would at least hold my hand.  Right now I just want to hug Jenna and Tenielle.

Please God.  Please send me a faithful friend.  Someone who would simply want to watch a movie with me.

January 21, 1996 – Sunday – 11:59 p.m.

Everyone loves my haircut.  The shorter it is, the more they like it.

Today was a fun day.  Morrell came with us to Crystal’s and Laura was there as well.  I try to like them both, but we are only friends.

It snowed this morning.  Beautiful.

Dan did well in the ski race.  He got first place in one and third in another.  He is awesome.

My role in Bear Claw seems to be very challenging.  I’m looking forward to it.

I tried to call Tenielle tonight, but their phone seems to be temporarily disconnected.

After church tonight we went to Peggy’s.  It was fun.  Molly turns 16 tomorrow.

This morning, Dan L. gave me a late Christmas present of some old pictures.  They were taken on our little trip to Grandfather Mountain last April.

I remember that day.

That was a good day.

January 21, 1996 – Sunday – 1:45 a.m.


Do you remember Kristin and Erica?  Well, I called Kristin today (Saturday) just to say hey.  She and Erica had made plans with some of their friends.  So Vince and Curtis and I met up with them.  Allen had to work and Dan is racing with the ski team in Virginia.  Erica looked different, but we had a nice talk.  We ate at Macado’s and then rented some movies and watched them in the lobby of one of the dorms.  We had a really fun time.

While in the lobby, people I didn’t know would walk through.  They would come and go.  They seemed to have normal college lives, but I didn’t know them.  Some strangers would stop and talk; others were silent.  I’ve been here about a year and a half.  Will I still be in touch with Vince, Curtis, Dan, Allen, and Charlie 15 years from now?

The opportunity to go through life with another human being seems amazing to me.  It’s such a miracle.

Curtis and I went to get our hair cut after lunch today.  It’s really short now.

Afterwards, we went out to the old Valle Crucis church.  They say it is haunted.  Ted, Tracey’s old boyfriend, and I walked up to the church door, but then a motion detector alarm went off and a loud siren filled the area.

I have never ran so fast in my life.

It is such a small world, but it looks so big from my window.

We are all having a get together at Crystal’s after church.  I think Laura and Hannah are going to be there.

I love this place.

January 19, 1996 – Friday 2:10 p.m.

It rained a lot last night and that helped melt the rest of the snow that remained from the Blizzard of ’96.  But the temperatures dropped greatly this morning and it began to snow again.  It’s still snowing now and the ground is covered again.

Life is really good.  All I do is laugh.

I just cleaned my room.  I’m pretty busy.  I am the stage manager for Greater Tuna being directed by two students and I’m staring in Bear Claw.  I must read a script a week for Dr. D.  I’m reading Huck Finn now.  I enjoy the work.  I enjoy my friends.  My church has given me a wonderful new family.

And I have my Jesus.  I am content.

It’s been an amazing day and it’s only 2:30 p.m.

January 18, 1996 – Thursday – 11:58 p.m.

Well, some good things have happened.  Church was really great Wednesday night.  On my way there, Curtis ran over my ankle, but I’m okay.  Laura sat next to me and we had fun during the service.

At FCA that night the Lord gave me a really cool devotion and everyone seemed to get something out of it.

Today, I dropped my Accounting class.  It was just really annoying m.e  I feel really good about it.  I got $86 back for the books.

We went to Sharon’s tonight for Bible Study.  It should be every Thursday now.  We had a really good time.  Sharon taught me so much.  She is the truest woman I have ever known.  We watched the recording of the Christmas show at church.  It brought back memories.

Hannah showed me the script of the show.  She said she was never going to throw it away and keep it until the day she died.  That touched me.

At church, one mother told me that her little daughter Frankie who was in the play says a special pray for me every night.

Laura and Hannah and all of us McAlister Hall guys are going over to Crystal’s on Sunday after church to have a little get together.  Morrell heard us talking about it so she might come.

Vince and Melissa aren’t together anymore.  She is going back with her old boyfriend.  Poor Vince.  She did him wrong.  I don’t understand girls.  He’ll be fine I’m sure.

After I got back to my room there was a message from Sharon on my voicemail.  She said, “This is your mother calling to make sure you got through the storm safely.  Call me when you get in.”

I’ve never smiled so big.


January 17, 1996 -Wednesday – 11:20 a.m.

It’s Kevin’s birthday.  I pray all is well with him.  He is 21.

The auditions went very well.  I was cast in a one-act called Bear Claw.  I think I play a gay orderly at an old folk’s home.

Derek got the part of Jesus in Godspell.

I delivered my first speech in Speech class today.  It went well.  My Stage Management class met today.  That class is going to be tough.

A girl named Murrell asked me to go skiing with her Thursday evening, but I am on duty.  We played indoor soccer together on Monday.  She’s really cool.

Vince and Melissa are getting along great.  He kissed her at church for the first time Sunday.

Jeff finally got back.  He’s doing well.

All is well.

I’m home and happy.