April 30, 2001 – Monday – 3:50 p.m.

It is the last day of April. All the trees are full of green. I forgot how beautiful that was.

Tomorrow begins a month of complete and total change. Part of me will die. Part of me will be reborn.

The last half of this month contained some highs and lows. The weekend in Banner Elk with Anna was delightful. Everyone really seemed to enjoy her! On the other side, things have really turned sour at Forefront, and I am ready and eager to no longer work there. Anna and I feel spiritually dried up, for each sermon seems to focus more about being a cool and hip message on simply needing God. We just need something deeper.

I am applying for Resident Director jobs all over the country since I have some experience in that area. I pray something happens soon. I just want to run away with Anna and start over again in a brand new place.

I’ve been here for three very long years.

I was in Banner Elk for four extremely short years.

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April 18, 2001 – Wednesday – 7:46 p.m.

I went to a funeral today. It was my job to video it. Her name was Megan. She was 16-years-old. We went to church together at Forefront, but I did not know her. I did know her dad, and this was simply tragic. She died in a single car accident as she headed home.

I take Anna to Banner Elk tomorrow. We will return on Sunday. Only Lindy, Dan, and Tracey will be there, but we’ll have a good time nonetheless.

The next month holds a great deal. It is the beginning and ending of everything. It feels like life is dying every day.

Heaven must be something grand, for down here I am losing myself down here in my everydayness. From what the scriptures tell me, there are no days in heaven. That is what I long for; just Jesus and I for eternity.

I miss you Jesus.

I am waiting for you.

April 10, 2001 – Tuesday – 4:00 p.m.

I just got off the phone with Lindy, easily one of the best friends I’ll ever have. I feel like my insides are going to explode. Everything is coming to the most amazing ending, and an entire universe is beginning.

The week of the wedding is going to be full of complete emotional ecstasy. There is much history and so many stories that will collide together for the moment Anna and I join our lives together. I will pick Vince up from the Miami airport, then we will drive up the coast for four hours after not seeing each other for over a year. Nearly all of Lees-McRae and Banner Elk, NC is dying to see him, and he will be there in when they all arrive on Thursday for the wedding on Saturday. Over 15 Lees-McRae friends are making the 11 hour trip south. Marcus is coming, as well as Danny and Peter, they are all bringing friends along.

Abigail is going to sing. Tracey is going to play piano. Vince, Lindy, and Dan will be standing next to me. I’ll share the weekend with all my friends, then drive away with Anna.

Anna just showed up. Gotta go!