February 28, 1997 – Friday – 10:25 a.m.

Oh God, what is happening here?

We had a wonderful Bible Study last night.  After it was over, Abigail and I talked for the longest time.  She told me what was on her heart.  She is one of the very few people here who can understand the spiritual side of me.  I grow closer to her each day.  I fall more each day.

Only two more months though.  But I want her to leave.  She is trapped here.  Stuck.  In Nashville she can grow as a Christian artist and I want what is best for her.

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January 11, 1997 – Saturday – 9:30 a.m.

I can’t get her off my mind.  I talked to her briefly at lunch on Thursday.  She looked at me in such a way…oh, it drove me crazy.  We had another Bible study on Friday at 3 o’clock.  It was me, Abigail, Ann-Marie, Jessica, and Shawna.  We had it up in Abigail and Jessica’s room.  Abigail remembered back home that her church back home is having a penny drive for missionaries in the Philippines.  She asked me to help her raise some.  I went around collecting and in just two days we had $20 collected.  Bible study was really cool!  It’s so great to see Abigail’s face light up because of what we are learning.  We prayed at the end and she prayed in the spirit under her breath.  I was right next to her, holding her hand.  Her prayer was so beautiful.

That night, last night, we got together in Ann-Marie’s room and watched some movies.  Shawn and Jessica were in there for a while, but they left and it was just myself, Abigail, Ann-Marie, and Lindy.  It was fun.  Abigail and I had a little pillow fight.  She was sitting in front of me while we watched Shag, a movie I didn’t like at all, and I found myself not watching the movie, but just studying her.  They way her cheek curved around her face, the three strands of hair that stuck out from her bun, and how when she leaned forward I could count 10 wrinkles in her shirt, but there were only seven when she leaned back.

What’s happening God?  I haven’t thought about a girl like this in years.

January 8, 1997 – Wednesday – 9:40 a.m.

Everybody got back safely.  It was so good to see Jessica, Abigail, Ann-Marie, Shawna, and everybody.  I spent over $300 on my books.  Eek.

Yesterday evening I began to play Rebecca St. James and went to the Lord in prayer.  Then suddenly God told me to call up all my friends and invite them over for a Bible Study.  So I did.  I called up everyone I knew but only Vince, Allen, Dan, Josh, Timothy, Abigail, Jessica, Jeni, Tracey, and Todd came over.  I spoke on Romans 5:1,2 and the Spirit of God showed up.  It was so awesome.  That night will be one of the greatest nights of the semester.  Everyone left enlightened.

At dinner earlier in the evening, Jeni asked Abigail how K.C. was and Abigail said, “To be honest, I really don’t know.”  Jeni’s eyes widened.  Abigail said, “I’m a little confused.”

Oh God, please be with her, whatever the problem is, please be their hearts.

Classes start today.  I already went to Scene Design.  I have to spend a lot of money on supplies, but it should be fun.

It’s so good to be here.  The year and the semester are starting off beautifully.  I give you all the glory God.  It feels like my feet aren’t even touching the ground.

November 26, 1996 – Tuesday – 8:35 a.m.

Vince and I are leaving in three hours.

New York City!

Little me is going to New York City!!

I went to Banner Elk Christian Fellowship on Sunday.  It was great.  Afterwards, the college students from App. State and LMC went to eat at a family’s house.  I was in a room full of people I didn’t know.

Bible study was great at Sharon’s last night.  Timothy came.

Sharon gave me a $100 bill and told me to have a good time in New York.  How great is that woman!

Well, I have got to pack!

November 7, 1996 – Thursday – 2:15 p.m.

It’s raining outside.  It’s beautiful.

I’m listening to Christmas music.

Laura’s birthday was yesterday.  They had a party for her last night. I wasn’t able to go.  She is seventeen.  Vince talks to me about the two of them.  They might actually make it.  He adores her.  I’m so glad they are together.

For the past two evenings I have been at tech rehearsal for the upcoming dance concert.  I’m the Assistant Stage Manager.

Last night Josh sang in the performance seminar.  I’ve told you about Josh I’m sure.  He’s the 18-year-old who looks 12.  The song he sang was adorable.  He is so precious.  He’s only five feet tall.  He looks up to me as a role model and he tells me as much.  He’s a good friend.

Alex is in my playwriting class.  All of the short plays he has written so far haven’t been very good, but his one-act is turning out to be amazing.  He’s really just meeting with Doc and she’s writing down everything he says, but it’s brilliant; better than anything I could write.

It’s so crazy to realize the semester is marching to an end.

A couple of nights ago at Sharon’s Bible study, there was a moment when Abigail, Ann-Marie, Tracey, Ellen, Jeni, and I went outside and into the tree house on their property.  It was really cold, so we all bundled together for body heat.  Everyone’s arms were around each other.  Abigail’s soul wasn’t hurting, but the cold hurt her body.  I was close to her, holding her; her head in my chest.  What I prayed on the 29th of the past month has come true.

Thank you God.

September 3, 1996 – Tuesday – 12:35 a.m.

The soccer game was fun on Sunday afternoon.  Our girls won!

We went to church that evening.  Jim is such a good speaker.  I wish he wasn’t leaving.  After the service, we all went to see Mission Impossible at the dollar theater.  It was us college guys and some of the youth group.  We ate at Mel’s Diner afterwards.  We got to talk to our waitress.  She is a Christian who is working in the ministry at App State.  She said she went to a charismatic church.  She described it and it sounded like home.  Her name is Kat.

Sunday night was such a fun evening.  Those kids are so funny.

Monday, Labor Day came, and we didn’t go to Deep Creek.  Instead, after lunch, all of us went to help put carpet in Melissa’s room at Eastern Tennessee State University.

It was enjoyable.  We walked around campus.  Laura and Vince seemed to walk close a lot.  We ate at Wendy’s then came back to school until Bible Study.

On the way back from the university, I rode with Sharon and Hannah in Bob’s old pickup truck.  Hannah fell asleep with her head in my lap.  I ran my fingers through her soft hair.  Sharon drove along.  Sweet conversation was made between us, but then silence and pure peacefulness.

And for a few brief moments, I found a peace deep inside me that I hadn’t discovered before.  I dreamed and it seemed as if it was my daughter’s head in my lap, and my wife was driving my pick up truck to our house.  I was so happy.  Everything from the past 20 years and sixteen days seemed to converge together so that those moments of peace would be possible.

A smile filled my face.

I did homework until Bible Study, but Vince stayed at their house to go running with Laura.  When I arrived, Vince answered the door with no shoes on.  He was just in his socks.  And I felt a stab in my heart.

Bible study was great.  Sharon is an amazing teacher.  There was a look in both Vince and Laura’s eye.  I could tell they had an enjoyable time together and that brought a smile to my face.

Vince came here a rugged individual of the world.  But he found the Lord and his life has turned around.  And for him to also get Laura would be an extra bonus.  His life would be complete happiness and I would feel as if I played a role in giving that to him.

Sharon baked cookies.  The house smelt like Christmas.  The evening weather is getting cooler.  Time is marching on.  Things are changing.  I am growing.

My story continues.

January 26, 1996 – Friday – 10:30 a.m.

Well, it’s Superbowl Weekend!

Last night Dan, Allen, Vince, Curtis, and Jennifer and I went to Sharon’s Bible Study.  It was so much fun.  We were there until midnight.  I see Laura as a friend now and nothing more.  Thank you Father.

So, on the 8th day of March Curtis and I are driving down to Atlanta.  I’ll leave the next morning from the airport and arrive in Phoenix.  From the 9th to the 16th I will be in Arizona.

I called my mom this morning to tell her.  She got excited because she and the other employees were talking about setting me up with one woman’s daughter.  They all thought it was fate that I called at that moment.  So, mom gave me the address for a girl named Mandy.  I guess I’ll write her.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face.  I love Jesus.  He is so good to me.  I have wonderful friends, a wonderful church, I’m doing a show, and I’m going out west for the first time.

I couldn’t ask for more.

Well, actually I could.  I wish Jenna and Tenielle were here.  I wish they could go with me to Arizona.  I wrote to Tenielle, but she hasn’t responded yet.  Their phone has been disconnected.

I’m on duty this weekend, but that pleases me.  There is a lot of work I have to do.

Things are great, but I still wonder.

Who is dreaming of me.

I am an eagle, searching for a tree.