November 28, 1997 – Friday – 5:00 p.m.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I spent most of the day on top of Sugar Mountain.  Marisa, Mason, their cousins, friends, and parents were there and Mason asked me if I would pray for the meal.  I was happy to do so.

The meal was nice, but the family was not.  They are full of bitterness and not love.  But they sure could make me laugh.

I came home and stayed up until two in the morning, writing a short story about the kiss Sarah and I shared on Saturday.  What a perfect Eternal Instant it was.  I feel like I’m still living in that moment, my lips on hers, yet it was so unexpected.

I watched The Spitfire Grill this morning and cried.  Then I met up with Marisa and skied for the bulk of the afternoon.  Their whole gang was there skiing as well, but I never saw them.  It’s easy to lose people when skiing.  It really felt like I spent the afternoon on those slopes alone, with the occasional few moments with Marisa.

This was my first Thanksgiving in Banner Elk.  Three years ago I was in Cincinnati.  Two years ago I was in Hampton Roads.  Last year I was in New York City.

I’m going to meet up with Sharon and family for the evening.  We are going to see a movie.

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November 26, 1997 – Wednesday – 10:50 p.m.

I am amazingly happy right now.  It is the day before Thanksgiving.  Sarah and I, plus Sherlive, Vince, and Curtis went to see George of the Jungle.  It was so funny.

Sarah and I seem to say more in our silent glances than we do through spoken words.  She is from God.  I know it because all good things come from the Lord.

Marisa came up today!  She hugged me so tight.  I took Vince to the airport in his car, then went to see The Rainmaker.  I love going to the movies alone.  I get there early, sit on the front row, stare up at the blank screen, and just dream.

It was an awesome, awesome movie!  I just praised the Lord the whole way home.  I love good movies and can’t wait to make my own.

I drove through the darkness of the mountains that make up my beautiful home and just felt completely wonderful.  I still feel wonderful.

I have friends, mountains, movies, a church that feels like family, and now there is a girl who looks at me in a way that melts me to the core.

I know nothing about the world.

I just know I am loved.

And I love my God who freely gives all this to me.

October 24, 1997 – Friday – 3:10 p.m.

God is so good to me and I don’t know why.  I am a finalist in the North Carolina Theater Conference, so I have to go to Asheville on November 7th.  But other things are going nicely as well.  She smiles at me more.  We talk about little things.  I’ve stopped trying to keep myself from dreaming about her.  I just let my mind wander.

Little things happen and though I’m sure half of it is just my imagination, God has given me a peace.

Today, Doc had me talk to a guy named Marty over the phone.  He graduated from Regent University with a film degree.  He said that a person can easily go very far, very fast in the film industry, but only if they are single.  Doc told me the same thing.  There are some who accomplish it with a family, but they are rare.

Rare.

I’ve been described that way before.

“Masks” is coming along beautifully.  Doc came and watched it last night.  She was amazed at how I directed and how people listened to and respected me.  She said that my art was good.

God is taking such good care of me.  I don’t deserve his love, yet he gives it so freely.

You know, I think I’ve forgotten how to be a boyfriend.  I haven’t been someone’s boyfriend for so long.  If something were to happen, if someone were to come along, I don’t think I’d know what to do.

Oh God, I give everything to you.  My desire to marry and have family, my desire to work in film and theater, these two things that the wise say can never work together, I give them to you.  Show me the way.  Teach me how to love and care.  I wait upon you.

October 13, 1997 – Monday – 9:50 p.m.

Life is so wonderful that it bothers me.  Justin, Vince, Curtis, Ellen, Ann-Marie and myself  went to see Seven Years in Tibet last night.  Brad Pitt acted beautifully.

All of the guys went to the bathroom afterwards, then we ran out because some guy in the stall let out the loudest exploding fart.  We felt to bad for laughing at a stranger.  We talked and laughed about it the whole way home.

We started our rehearsals for Masks today.  It went really well and everyone seems excited.  I can’t wait!

Horsemanship class was awesome today.  It was our last class and I’m going to miss Bay Lady.  Brooke invited me over to her apartment anytime.  She was the one who drove me to class every day.  Perhaps I’ll go.

The Misanthrope rehearsals began tonight.  Alceste is a neat character.  After rehearsal, I took Mason and Emily out for dessert at The Corner Palate.  I have had the best time working with them.  Our scene goes up on Wednesday.

Also on Wednesday we leave for Hilton Head, SC.  It’s the whole Bible Study group!  All the guys, all the girls, it should be fun.

I think I’m going to spend Thanksgiving here so I can spend some time with Sharon and also Marisa; her family is coming up here for Thanksgiving.

Josh had to go to the hospital this morning for some odd reason.  I went to see him and held his hand while he got a shot in the butt.  Poor guy.  I love that little dude.

October 3, 1997 – Friday – 10:30 a.m.

Man, life is pretty cool.  Tuesday afternoon I hiked down to Elk River and laid out on the big rock where Charlie set up a cross.  I feel asleep and slept for an hour and a half.  It was so awesome.

Abigail and I have talked a little.  She apologized to me for acting so weird and taking things the wrong way.

Mason and Emily are doing wonderful in our scene.  I’m so proud of them.  I can’t wait for everyone to see it.  I’m even designing lights for it.

I was nominated for a scholarship today.  It’s based on my writing and it’s $2,500.  Way cool, huh?

I talked to Pastor Steve Wednesday night and asked him if he could send me that masks from the Mask Skit we used to do.  They arrived today.  It’s gonna be so awesome seeing this piece from my past performed again.

We had Bible study last night and Courtney came.  She was a pretty wild girl last year, but she said she got saved over the summer.  Then each of us wrote a little love letter to Jesus and Courtney’s was amazing.  She cried and couldn’t finish it, so I finished it for her.

Jesus can change everything.

We watched Liar, Liar after Bible study last night.  It was so good for all the guys and girls to hang out together.  We leave for Washington D.C. today to go to Stand In The Gap. It should be fun.

October is already here.  My application for Regent is nearly complete.  I will take the GRE next month.

Life is moving along and I can’t help but smile.

August 10, 1997 – Sunday – 4:05 p.m.

Marisa turns 15 today.  I turn 21 in a week.

Dan has gone home.  The place feels empty.  This next week I will move to McAlister; I’ll have a smaller apartment with one less room than this one.

It just started to rain.

For the next hour and a half, I’ll exist quietly in these three rooms.  I will listen to slow and soothing music, and I will read and write.  At 5:30 p.m. I will go back to the box office to sell tickets and I’ll enjoy the show again tonight.

Jeanine will sleep in here tonight since her mom is visiting and will take her bed.

RD training begins on Monday and I will also check everyone out of Tennessee Dorm between Monday and Wednesday.

Children of Eden ends tomorrow.  Lindy and I began with three full ticket racks and now we are nearly empty.  Everyone has loved this show.

My final year of college is so close.  How different it will be.  My rounds will now include seven buildings instead of just two hallways.  I will tackle directing and horseback riding.

So my simple and relaxing summer will soon end and I will never live in these walls again.  What have these walls seen?  Jeni and I kissing.  Dan and I wondering.  Charlie crying over Kate.  And me watching Sherlive as she slept.

The summer of 1997.

Nothing ever stays the same.

Charlie and I went to see Conspiracy Theory last night.  I enjoyed it.  I helped Charlie in Junior Worship this morning and ate with Tracey and her family plus Lindy and Ann-Marie at the Banner Elk Cafe.

It’s difficult for me to remember who I was before Lees-McRae.  I almost feel like my senior year will be the last year of my life.  Leaving this place seems close to death.

But surely there are no real goodbyes among Christians.

It’s 4:45 p.m.

Am I still living in my youth?  Or are those days gone?

4:47 p.m.

And so…well…

Weird, huh?

 

July 18, 1997 – Friday – 10:30 a.m.

Last night I saw the film Contact.  It is without a doubt the most amazing film I have ever laid eyes upon.  While watching it, my body shook…I couldn’t believe I was actually seeing what I was seeing.  My eyes went on a roller coaster ride, as did my heart, but my soul has never been more frightened.

In fact, the song playing on the radio as I got out of the car, was the same song playing when I returned to the car.  It was almost like the whole movie never happened, or it was some weird out-of-body experience.

Contact is a perfect replica of how each individual on this planet who doesn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus feels as we approach the new millennium.  The world is looking so desperately for an answer, for a God.  The world cries for a savior that’s right before their eyes.  They look to the universe instead to the Creator of the universe.

I hope I can show people their Creator and how much he loves them.  Oh God.  This is scary, I am secure in you, but so many are lost and dying.  So many do not know true love.

Thank you for your true love God.