January 1, 2001 – Monday – 8:15 p.m.

Two nights ago, on December 30th, I asked Anna to marry me.

She said ‘yes.’

I hid the ring in an empty container of her favorite Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream. I had filled it with small weights and stored it in the fridge to make it look and feel like a cold container full of ice-cream. She opened it and stopped breathing. She wasn’t expecting it so soon. I cried. What a wonderful little story.

I am changing.

Every day I am losing a little bit more of me.

We are planning a July 7th wedding. Over the next six months I will slowly move my stuff into her studio apartment in the historic Ghent neighborhood in Norfolk. I’m sure I’ll give or throw away many items I’ll no longer need.

I can’t believe what is happening. I’m marrying an amazing woman, a good, Godly woman. So many of my single-person perspectives just have no meaning any more.

So it is 2001.

When the ball dropped in New York, I was kissing Anna in Virginia Beach.

December 27, 2000 – Wednesday – 10:44 a.m.

The day before Anna met my mom, we talked about marriage. God had been speaking to each of us individually about marriage for about two weeks. We were half expecting my mom to talk us out of it, but she did the opposite. She prayed for us and felt we were right for each other; that our union was God’s will. My mom was a blessing to us both.

Anna flew down to Florida for Christmas, and we agreed to look at rings together when she returned.

During Christmas, Kevin and I talked a great deal about our upbringing. Much was covered; some painful, but all good. It was so weird to see Nate as a full-fledged teenager.

There are five days left in the year.

2001 will be a jewel.

December 21, 2000 – Thursday – 10:19 a.m.

And so it is tomorrow again.

Anna and I stayed up until four in the morning, just talking. We are so great together, and she will meet my mom on Saturday morning. Mom is driving up to grandma’s as I write.

Anna has one year of school remaining before she’s done with her Master’s. God, please let us know what you have planned for us for afterwards.

This is the life I live now. All time seems to run together. I have no regular schedule; I just try to be as close to Anna as possible. It is the cold weather that brings our hearts together, or just our Lord and Savior?

Each week, in between seeing Anna, I seem to pull together all the video work I need to do for church. After she meets my mom this weekend, I’ll meet her mom the following weekend. We are planning our lives together.

Thank you Lord.

December 16, 2000 – Saturday – 11:05 a.m.

Ten days have passed. What has happened in 10 days?

I live a beautiful life with my Jesus. Anna and I see each other every day. We stay up late, for it is difficult to say goodbye. If we have an hour of free time, we find a way to see each other.

Work at Forefront is going well, but I must ask for more money soon; I’m simply going broke. I have received additional editing and production work: a missions video for Laos and a evangelistic video. Both are paying decently well.

Once February arrives I’ll need to start earning $400 a week to be able to make my student-loan payment. I might have to get a second job.

In one week Anna will return to Florida for Christmas. She is so lovely. I visited her this morning just so I could watch her get ready for work.

I have an audition today as well as three videos I must complete before tomorrow.

I love you Lord. Thank you for this full life!

December 6, 2000 – Wednesday – 10:00 a.m.

Last night was full of beautiful movements. Anna and I went to Colonial Williamsburg and walked there among the past. My favorite was the first stage of the United States. We sat there, under trees and stars, retelling the story of our meeting.

I’m amazed by my God. I feel you smiling down on me great God. I see you, and I say thank you, and say that you are beautiful!

December 4, 2000 – Monday – 4:00 p.m.

The events of the past weekend were extraordinary.

During the month of November, Anna and I were able to see a few movies together and go out to eat a bit. She also started coming to church and to my small group with me.

This past Tuesday we went to see Requiem for a Dream, then we took a walk along the cobblestone streets of Ghent in Norfolk. Thursday, after our small group, we tried to go see the Christmas lights at the beach, but we ended up just driving around since we arrived after it closed. That night I found myself serenading her with The Little Mermaid’s “Part of your World” in the lobby of a huge women’s restroom on campus. The acoustics were fantastic!

Saturday, after I went bowling with my Wednesday night group, I picked Anna up and we went to see The Grinch. Then we bought some hot cocoa and ended up under a blanket on wooden lookout in the Mackie Island National Wildlife Refuge across the state line in North Carolina. We just sat there and snuggled for hours until a police officer came and nearly arrested us for trespassing. That night ended with us barely being able to let go of each other at her apartment door.

Yesterday, Sunday, I went over to her apartment, and we just snuggled, and talked, and kissed, and adored each other for five straight hours.

We don’t know how this happened, but it did. I stand completely in awe. I’m amazed at the way she sees me, the way she holds me, the way she touches me. There is hardly anything to say, hardly anything to write, for we simply are. I can’t explain it. I met her nearly a year ago when she first arrived. She’s been walking around Regent this entire time, but we just now found each other.

“Spill-tained pages of poetic prophecy

tickle my interest and taunt at my fantasy

gentle new lover, favorite friend

with hidden desire that bothers my

conscience again.”

So here I am. Snow fell on warm hearts last night. The frozen morning melted away but our hearts and lips are still intact. Frozen forever by winter. Forever captured in sight.

December 1, 2020 – Friday – 9:05 p.m.

I’ve been back in the area for four days, and I am now listening to the music that filled my summer as I drove back and forth to Acoustic Works: Enter the Worship Circle.

. . .

As of right now I am tempted to write about a girl, but I will not. I do not want to over-analyze or curse these amazing days because of what I might write down on these lined pages. Time will simply speak for itself, and my own memory will suffice for my time spent with this beautiful girl.

But do allow me to jot down some nice thoughts and images about the things we have shared.

Cobblestone streets, historic strolls, a mysterious portal into China’s ancient past, a frozen floating rocket, rejection from holiday lights at the beach, my singing of a Little Mermaid song into the acoustical corner of a female restroom lobby, swing dancing in my bedroom, and endless abundant laughter.

I thank you for all these sweet days Jesus.

. . .

I drove with Kerstin today to pick up Chris from the Raleigh/Durham airport down in North Carolina. It was good to see him.

It’s the last month of the year.

I have no idea what is next.

I guess that is a perfect place to be.