September 29, 1994 – Thursday – 11:50 p.m.

Makeup call was tonight!  I have a goatee.  Everyone says I look like William Shakespeare.  Jeni wouldn’t kiss me with it on, but after I took it off she sure did.  It takes something called spirit gum to attach it to my chin.  So gross.

My dad called me tonight.  He is his usual self…no job.

Today has been a great day.  Jeni looked so beautiful with all her makeup on tonight.  Everyone says we are great for each other.

I told her that back home I kept looking for that special someone, but I never found her.  When I came here, however, it was actually the last thing on my mind.  I guess that’s why I found Jeni.

Goodnight everyone.

September 28, 1994 – Wednesday – 11:55 p.m.

I just got back from going on a walk with Jeni.  We prayed together about some things and we talked about stuff as we kissed each other after every other word.  She told me tonight that she loves looking into my eyes because it shows her how much I love Christ.

Someone in the cast is letting me borrow his extra pair of ballet shoes, and someone told me of the little makeup that I need and how little it costs  I can actually afford it.

Thank you Lord for providing for my needs.  Thank you for sending me Jeni.  She is so great Lord and she loves you more than anything.

I adore you Lord.  I lift your name on high.  I praise you.  I magnify you.  You are wonderful Jesus.  Thank you Holy Spirit.

El Shaddai!

Yahweh!

I love you!!!

September 28, 1994 – Wednesday – 11:45 a.m.

Jeni and I went for a walk yesterday at 1:45 p.m.  We talked and held hands.  We kissed a few times.  She smells so great.

She has gone out of town for the day for a dance performance.  I saw her briefly this morning.  She will be back in time for dinner and rehearsal.  I still miss her though.

Mattress opens in a week.

This morning in Acting class I did my scene of “Expresso Bar” with Mary.  Not to brag, but we were the only one’s who did it off book and we did it the best.

Mr. Taylor said he could see the subtext in our faces.

Costuming is tonight at six o’clock for Mattress.

Not much else to tell.  I’m believing God for some money for ballet shoes and a makeup kit.  I need about $55.

Thank you Jesus.

You are my provider.

September 26, 1994 – Monday – 2:30 p.m.

I am changing.

I can feel it.

My brother just called me.  He and Tenielle aren’t “together anymore.”  He hates his college life.  He says there is nothing there for him.

My college life is wonderful.  I owe it all to Jesus.  I’ll pray for him.  He and Marcus are getting along well.

He said he went to a fellowship service at Abundant Life yesterday.  He told everyone about Jeni.  He told me he couldn’t believe it, that his little brother would ever actually have a girlfriend.  He said she seemed sweet.

I got a card today from a girl named Lori.  I don’t know a Lori, but as I read it I learned she is a friend of Cheryl’s, but she lives in Ohio, not North Carolina.  I don’t know her though.  She wants me to write her back.

Kristen also wrote me.  She is okay.  It was great seeing her this past weekend.

Anyway, as I talked to Kevin today, I realized what was important to me.

Right now, all I see is me growing in my relationship with God and with Jeni, focusing on my studies of theater, making the best of my years here at Lees-McRae, and getting into a film school.

I have so many people I am suppose to keep in touch with, but truthfully I don’t really want to worry about it.

Forgive me Sanford, but Banner Elk is where I am now.

September 25, 1994 – Sunday – 11:35 p.m.

Okay, about yesterday…

Seeing my brother and Marcus showed me one thing yesterday.  My life is, as before, simply a collection.

A book.

I’m on a journey.

A great adventure.

I will forget none of this adventure.

I will write it down in these books.

I enjoyed church this morning.  Jeni is not depressed about her ticket or anything.  She is content.

After church, we did the Sunday School Lunch thing.  There was a guy in the who said, “you never stop learning.”

I spoke up and said, “I heard someone say once that you don’t start learning anything until you’re 40.”

We talked about it and he agreed with me.

I guess I’ll find out it’s meaning in 22 years and as the additional years pass by.

Jeni and I spent a lot of time together today.  We did some homework for Religion together.  She didn’t have to go to rehearsal tonight, but she came anyway, just to watch me.  She is so great!

We kissed each other so many times today.  Our relationship is great.  We’ve been together for about four days.  From the moment I saw her I knew something was there.

Thank you for her Lord.

Please give me a peaceful sleep.

September 25, 1994 – Sunday – 9:24 a.m.

Yesterday has to be one of the most amazing days I have ever experienced.  Jeni and Tracey and I arrived at Carowinds at a different time than Charlie and his gang, so we weren’t really with them throughout the day.  The people in front of us had an extra ticket, so Tracey got in for free.  The traffic was so intense that we got there after eleven o’clock, so I wasn’t there to meet the High Falls youth group at the front gate.

We rode the Vortex first then went to see Paramount on Ice.  We found Rachel and her friend before the show.  Before it started there was this guy with a microphone who went around to a bunch of audience members and picked on them.  He started picking on Tracey, saying she was cute and how he wanted to kiss her and stuff.  Then he looked at me and said, “Hey, you look like a macho kind of guy.  Is this your girlfriend sitting here next to you?”

“Yes.”

Then he said, “You could probably stand up right here and say ‘KISS ME’ and all the girls would run to you and kiss you, wouldn’t they?”

So he had me stand up and shout into the microphone “KISS ME!”  And guess who kissed me?  Not Jeni, but the guy with the microphone, right on the cheek.  I was so embarrassed.

We ate lunch and that is when I saw Lisa.  She hugged me and I found out that Marcus and Kevin were there.

Kevin found me in during the White Heart concert.  He hugged me.  Kim was with him, she hugged me too.  I introduced him to Jeni.  We watched White Heart together and then Jeni and I walked around.

The whole day she kept looking at me and smiling.  I told her I loved it when she looks at me that way.  I also told her that she has pretty eyes.  She said that she simply likes looking into my eyes.

Throughout the day I found Tony, Leslie, and Kristen.  I hugged them all and the only thing I could think about was Fishnet when I saw them.

Audio Adrenaline was there and I enjoyed them the most.  It began raining as the sun went down, and Jeni and Tracey and I left after the Audio Adrenaline concert.  But on the way out I ran into Marcus.  He hollered my name when he saw me and just grabbed ahold of me and shook me.  Since we were leaving I couldn’t talk long.  He told Jeni to take care of me.

We got soaked on our way to the car and then discovered that Jeni’s battery had died.  Luckily, it only took us about 15 minutes to find a cop in the parking lot and he jumped us off.  We drove north on I-77 and got lost and ended up in Winston-Salem.  We asked for directions twice.  We finally got onto 421 and Jeni, being desperate to get back home, was going about 80 miles an hour.  Yep, we were pulled over and she got a ticket.  I felt so sorry for her.  She had never gotten a ticket before.

By the time we got to Boone it was really foggy.  She couldn’t see and said that she just wanted to go home, get out of the car, and cry.  I told her she could have my shoulder to cry on.

When we finally got back to Lees-McRae it was almost two in the morning.  I kissed her goodnight, more than once.

I have more to write about yesterday, but Jeni and Tracey and I are going to church together.  I’ve got to get ready.

September 23, 1994 – Friday – 11:50 p.m.

What a Friday it was!

Jeni and I ate breakfast together this morning.  She is so great.  We also ate lunch and dinner together.  The two of us and Richard, Tracey, Ellen, Chase, and a few others, played spoons (a card game) up in Richard’s room.  We then took Ellen to a little camp down the road and played some games there.  We played “This is a what!” as well.

Jeni and I did our laundry together tonight.  And afterwards we went up to her room.  We watched Dick Van Dyke with Tracey.  After it was over, she walked me back to my dorm, but for some reason we just walked right on past it and went down to Elk River, crossed the bridge and sat there above the waterfall for a while.

As time passed, I asked her if she wanted to pray.  She said yes.  We prayed for us.  We prayed that God would keep us close to each other and close to Him.  We prayed for our future and our years here at college.

Tonight, Jeni told me about how her last boyfriend gave her a teddy bear when they broke up.  There was a rubber band on it that she had never taken off.  And she said that she wouldn’t take it off until she found a guy she like more than him.  She took the rubber band off last night while I was in her room.

We basically just sat there in the dark with our arms around each other and the sound and the mist of the waterfall filling the space around us.  I told her how beautiful I thought she was.  We told each other why we were so attracted to each other.  Then, in the midst of that conversation, I said, “Can I kiss you?”

“If you want to…” she said.

And then, for what seemed like eternity, we sat above the rushing water, with our bodies so close together and kissed each other.  She put her tongue in my mouth.  It was awesome.  My first kiss.

I walked her back to her dorm and we kissed again.

“You’re so cool,” I said.

“I think you’re awesome,” she said.

I kissed her again and said goodnight.

On September 23, 1994 I kissed the prettiest girl in the world.  My first kiss, yes, but it didn’t feel like it.

May I sleep in your peace Lord.