March 29, 1996 – Friday – 4:45 p.m.

Last night I video taped the opening night of Godspell.  It was an amazing show.  Derek played Jesus.  It was so great to see the story of the why I do the things I do.  I’m looking forward to seeing Godspell again tonight.

I got some pictures back today, they are from the past month or so and part of Arizona.

I’m going to call my mom later on and talk to her about the summer.

March 27, 1996 – Wednesday – 11:00 p.m.

My interview for the Assistant Resident Director position went well, but I’m not sure if I’ll get the job.

Church was so great tonight.  Phillip talked to me about the skit and was so excited.  He couldn’t wait until the next time we rehearsed.  Molly saw me and gave me the biggest hug.  She and I seemed to really get a long tonight.  She was so much fun.  Perhaps our relationship will grow.

Thank you Lord for all of these people.  Praise your holy name.


March 25, 1996 – Monday – 2:40 p.m.

The college and career class went bowling yesterday.  I had a lot of fun, but last night was even better.  We had our first rehearsal for a skit we are doing for Easter Sunday.  I feel so at home when I am directing.  Such a peace flows over me.

I gave a speech this morning that went really well.  Then, in Acting II, Dr. D. mentioned my Sentry character in Antigone and spoke about how well I did concerning the character’s objectives.  I also read some positive reviews of Bearclaw.

It appears others adore my work.  It’s happening.  I am becoming me.

The Oscars come on tonight.  I hope Braveheart wins Best Picture!

Thank you Lord for the gift of life.  Please give me a peaceful sleep.

March 23, 1996 -Saturday – 11:55 p.m.

I slipped on the ice this morning and split the back of my jeans.

Charlie, Dan, Vince, and I went to Boone to see Executive Decision.  I liked it.

On the way back home, I began to sing praise and worship songs, but Charlie turned the radio up so loud so they wouldn’t have to hear me.  I sang praise songs to the beat of that music and remembered how Marcus and Kevin and I would sing praise songs together.  These guys wouldn’t do it.  So I stayed quiet and then later on they sang old TV themes songs and they wondered why I wasn’t joining in.

I called my brother a little while  ago.  He’s not doing good.  Problems with his grades and my parents.  Marcus was there.  He was great.  He said by the beginning of April he would try to pay me back for fixing his car back in August on the way to see Emily.

I love my brother, it hurts me when he hurts.

Sometimes you have to take a week and visit a distant place for a year.  And sometimes you have to take a year and go to college for a week.  There’s a whole world outside my window.  It’s been years since I was born.  But many times, it still feels like I’m falling from the nest.

March 23, 1996 -Saturday – 1:35 a.m.

It’s been a while since I’ve written.  We’ve gotten a lot of snow, but it has begun to melt.

It’s hard to believe that two weeks ago I was sleeping in Atlanta and just one week ago, I was sleeping in Prescott.  I’ve gotten a huge work load put on me since I’ve been back.

I taught the 5th and 6th grade class at church on Wednesday night.  Only a kid named Harris was in it.  Others will come during the summer, but we had fun.  He’s a smart kid.

Oscar night is Monday.

Almost a year since I held Emily.

A lot can happen in a year.

A lot can happen in a day.

Peter and I have been emailing each other a lot more.  He said he misses the old days of Deep Creek, Nintendo, and adventures at our house.  I’ve known him and Danny more than anyone.  I pray it always stays that way.

Oh God, how big you are.

I don’t know anything.

And I also pray that it always stays that way.

March 19, 1996 – Tuesday – 12:45 a.m.

I awoke Monday morning in my ancient room from so long ago.  I did my laundry, vacuumed, and even washed the dishes.

Mom would not allow me to see Jenna and Tenielle, so we went straight to the doctor’s office in Pinehurst.  Dr. Brenner looked at my finger, then said, “What do you want to be?”

“A filmmaker.”

“Well you can move your pinky fine.  It may look a little crooked, but you don’t need a pretty finger to make good movies.”

So, I’m not having surgery.  Praise God.

Henry drove me back up to Banner Elk.  We stopped by K-Mart in Boone and picked up my pictures.  They were black and white, from the beginning of the year.

So, here I am in my room.  I wonder…if these walls could speak…what stories would they tell.  Would they mention Syndi and I holding each other on my bed while we watched TV?  Would they remember Allen, Dan, Vince, Curtis, and I video taping ourselves talking?  Would they remember Dan and I playing Tetris?  Would they remember Allen and I praying for his salvation?  Would they remember me, alone, looking out my window, remembering the time Murrell and I sled down the hill.

I wonder.