September 26, 1997 – Friday – 11:30 p.m.

I am in Louisville, Kentucky.  I’ve never been here before.

We left at 11:00 a.m. this morning, twelve and a half hours ago.  Charlie and I rode with Dr. and Mrs. Martin from our church.  We came upon the scene of an accident that had just occurred seconds before, since he’s a doctor, we pulled over and he helped out.  It was a single car accident where the high winds picked up the trailer and pulled the truck off the road.  The two passenger’s were okay, but the driver got hit in the head pretty hard.

We had a fun trip up here and went to the first seminar earlier this evening.  The speaker spoke on sexual purity.  We are now at a Days Inn in Louisville.  I’m sharing a room with Charlie and Jamie.

I’m kinda tired, but it’s nice to be in Kentucky.  Tomorrow will be a full day.

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September 26, 1997 – Friday – 10:00 a.m.

I will leave for Kentucky in less than an hour.

Yesterday was an amazing day.  I spoke to Doc about Regent University, that I was applying, etc.  She said there was a guy in Boone who had graduated from there and that since she had a lot of pull with CITA (Christians in Theater Arts), her recommendation alone would guarantee my acceptance.  I’ve been wanting to attend Regent since the summer after my Freshman year, when I first learned about it at Fishnet.  Yesterday God just reassured me that he is the one calling me to attend there.

Also, Jeni was here yesterday.  It was so good to see her.  Last night after Bible study, all the guys and all the girls came to hang out in my room.  We talked for a while and then in the middle of all of the conversation, Abigail said something, something amazing.  We were talking about some joke I had told and she said, “You’re a funny guy Jacob.  I appreciate your humor and I appreciate you.”  And then she kinda stared at me.

In that moment I felt like our friendship was completely restored.

I got a letter from Marisa today and in it she said, “I’m sorry it’s your last year, but the Lord has called you elsewhere.”

And Sarah wrote me a letter as well.  She said, “Jacob, I want you to know that even though I haven’t known you very long, I love you.”

I am so loved here, and yet I’m leaving.

I don’t know whether to smile or to cry.

September 25, 1997 – Thursday – 4:40 p.m.

Life is good.  I did a lot of research on church drama this morning.  I am now on the judicial committee since I’m an RD.  We saw some students today; pretty rough stuff.

My rehearsals with Emily and Mason are so much fun.  We are going to have the greatest scene ever.

And even in the busyness of this day, I found time to stare at the sky and the ground.  I stopped by Tennessee Dorm where Dan and I roomed together for a month, where Jeni spent a week, and where Sherlive spent a night.  Then I picked a flower and walked towards McAlister.

On the way there, I stopped at the cemetery next to the Presbyterian church.  I walked through slowly and stopped at the gravesite of the founder of this great institution.  There, at the tombstone of Edgar Tufts, I set my flower.

I then sat on a stone and examined the world around me.  I saw a leaf walking along the pavement.  I never knew leaves could walk, but it moved along as if it knew where it was going.  Then I stood and started walking and wondered if I was really walking, or if maybe some great wind was pushing me along as well.

September 23, 1997 – Tuesday – 6:40 p.m.

Emily and Mason and I had a rehearsal today and it went beautifully.  They tell me that other students in acting class aren’t working well with their student directors.  They said that no other directors have had rehearsals yet.  They are so excited because they know their scene is going to be great.  I enjoy making them happy.  After our rehearsal I came to my room and sang praises to my God.  I get so uncontrollably happy when I direct.

I ate across the table from Abigail tonight and we carried on a little conversation.  And while we were getting ready to leave we stood next to each other.  Our bodies weren’t touching or anything but it just surprise me that I was very aware that she was there.

Autumn is here and it’s never been so beautiful.  Justin is becoming a trusting friend.  I’m so glad he’s here.  I’ll soon have my application complete and ready to send off to Regent University.  I also need to look into a summer job.

My days here are fading away.  I’m running out of time to bless my friends.  Soon I’ll simply be a person who just used to go here.  The Freshmen of next year won’t know me. The Freshmen of this year will most likely forget my face.  I’ll disappear like the bright yellow and red covering the mountainside.

But I leave knowing I at least made a difference while I was here, or the Jesus in me did anyway.  So many names, so many eyes.  Their lives have touched mine.  I am my collection.

I am who I am, only because of them.

September 22, 1997 – Monday – 7:30 p.m.

Church was great this weekend.  We had an awesome meal on Sunday night.  After church, about 12 people came over to my room.  Justin and Paul played guitar and we had a praise and worship session.  Ann-Marie, Abigail and Tracey were there as well.

Marisa called last night, as did Jeni.  Jeni was sad because Rich Mullins died in a car accident.  She’s coming down on Thursday to see Sounds Across America.

My uncle Jim from California is working in Boone.  He’s going to take me out to eat tomorrow night.

I leave for Kentucky Friday morning.  I’ll spend the weekend there in Louisville.  I’ve never been there before.

Horsemanship was so awesome today.  I rode so fast.  It’s getting darker earlier, the leaves are changing, the air is cool, and my time on that horse every week is simply magical.

September 20, 1997 – Saturday – 11:00 p.m.

I’m back home in Banner Elk.  Charlie and I stopped by my house in Mt. Vernon Springs.  I saw Nate, Marcus, and Peter.  We all went out to eat.  Peter is doing well; he just came home for the weekend.  Marcus seems to be himself, he’s losing his hair though.  But I guess that happens.

The house looked kinda different.  I felt distant, but also at home.  Hmm.  Memories flooded my mind, but that always happens.

Tons of people have come into my room right now.  It’s hard to write.  Since I’m the only one with an actual living room, it seems to be the hang out spot these days.  I’m gonna have to start getting up early just to have time to myself.

September 20, 1997 – Saturday – 10:00 a.m.

Man.

I’m in Carrboro, NC right now.  It’s right next to Chapel Hill.  I came with Charlie and Justin on Thursday night.  Justin met up with an uncle and went on to Virginia Beach.  Charlie and I are staying at Matt’s, an old friend of Charlie’s.  We went out to eat and to a movie last night.  Earlier in the day yesterday I stopped by Henry’s workplace. It tickled him to death to see me.  We are going to stop by the house before we head back.  Hopefully I can meet up with Marcus.

I wrote Jessica a little note on Thursday and gave it to her.  It simply said that I thought a lot about her and I was glad she was here.

My senior year is going by way too fast.

September 17, 1997 – Wednesday – 11:10 a.m.

Life is good.  I’m directing now and I feel so much like me.  Vince and I had an awesome talk a couple of nights ago.  We stayed up until two in the morning.  What a dear friend!

I read Charlie my journal entry from September 14th.  When I got to the part about “missing Charlie and Kate together,” he told me he loved me.  I asked him why?  He said because he realized someone else felt his pain.

Sarah is a little under the weather.  I gave her a hug and said thanks for the card and she blew me a kiss.

I don’t know what to say.  I love God.  He loves me.  And he shows me how much he loves me everyday through other people.

September 16, 1997 – Tuesday – 10:50 p.m.

Wow!  Today was amazing!  I had rehearsal with Emily and Mason for my first scene in Directing class.  We did some exercises and Emily cried.  It was very moving.  I prayed with them and they told me later how awesome the experience was.  Then I ran into Sarah and she said she heard I was an awesome director.  She said she wishes she could have been in my scene.

And then she handed me a card and I nearly cried:

Dear Jacob, 

I know that this is a really “girlie” card, but it’s the thought that counts right?  Anyway, I’ve had a bit of trouble adjusting to my new life up here, but I am already so much better.  I wanted you to know that when you took time out to talk to me, it really meant more to me than you will ever be able to know.  There are moments in life, when even though we know God is there, that we feel utterly alone.  I had felt that way a lot since I’ve been up here.  That is, until I talked to you.  You are a very special person Jacob.  I know that you don’t need me to tell you that, but you are.  Thank you so much.  I hope that you don’t think I’m too weird.  I love ya.

Peace in Christ,

Sarah

September 15, 1997 – Monday – 12:10 a.m.

An interesting Sunday evening.  I went over to Tate Hall after church to try and shoot my T.A.G. target.  I stopped to visit Sarah, who came to church this morning, but while I was in her room Lesley came in and shot me.  Oh well, I’m out of this year’s game.

Sarah and I had an amazing talk.  She has such a big heart.  We talked for a while and she told me her story.  She said that God has given me a gift and that people feel comfortable, safe, and loved around me.  She said she felt so good after talking to me.

We talked for nearly an hour and a half.

I believe Vince and Laura have finally called it quits.  The two of them sure have gone through it.

I know I say this a lot, but September is already half over.