January 29, 1999 – Friday – 8:12 a.m.

I talked to Dan and Curtis over the phone.  I must make it back to Lees-McRae on May 9th to attend their graduation.  They both seem to be doing well.  Needless to say, I miss them.

Things are good here.  I have many assignments and papers ahead of me, so I’m headed to the library today.

February is almost here.  That only means a little over three months remain the in the semester.

Not long at all.

Then, I’ll only have a year left.

Time is moving faster than it ever has before.

Hmm.

I’ve just been sitting here for a while.  It’s funny how, during some moments, the world makes sense, and, in others, it doesn’t.

Money hardly exists anymore.  It used to be numbers on paper, but now it is only numbers on a screen, numbers on computers, numbers in cyberspace that seem to have no value whatsoever.  We drive around in our cars like robots, and all we are buying with these useless numbers are lies.

When I was in Africa playing underneath the Milky Way, I was away from all the lies.

When I would sit in the treehouse on Hemlock Hill during a midnight snowfall, I was away from it all.

I hope the Lord comes back this year.  I don’t want to live in a world after the year 2000.  I fear things are going to get ugly, and that humans might only become more robotic.

It pains me to know that I’m a part of it all.

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January 26, 1999 – Tuesday – 10:14 p.m.

Wow, I can’t believe how much time has passed since my last entry.  Let’s see…Friday’s youth service was great; we just worshipped and prayed.  God showed up and spoke through us.  On Saturday we had a rehearsal for Masks and performed it Sunday night for the church.  It went fabulously and many were blessed by it.

Our new youth group name is “Vision of Fire.”

Saturday night I went over to Nicole’s for a dinner party.  Many other film students were there and it great to hangout with guys and girls who were over the age of 22.

I led devotions in my Research and Writing class on Monday.  I used my teddy bear as an example and even played “Absence of Fear” by Jewel.  The message was basically that our relationship with Jesus should be a romantic one.

I spoke up at our home group on Monday night and shared about a vision I had related to my glorified body.  I cried as I spoke.  It was something else.

I also was accidentally locked out of my apartment last night and ended up staying over at April’s and Mary Jo’s until two in the morning.  I watched The Mirror Has Two Faces while they went to sleep.

Today itself was an excellent day.  Sharon called me to simply update me on what has been going on with her family.  She makes me feel like I am one of them.  She shared with me the Laura has woken up.  She felt that her relationship with the Lord was only based on her mother’s faith and that she herself was not in love with Jesus.  She rededicated her life to him, even prepared her own service on Monday night, gave her testimony, and even got re-baptized.  Pastor Brent asked her to share again on Sunday morning.  She did and afterwards eight people came to know Jesus as their savior.

Wow!

You are amazing Jesus!

According to Sharon, all of Heaton is in revival right now because one little girl decided to fully love her Lord.  Oh Laura, you are still the most amazing one I’ve come across.

Jesus, you are the lover of my soul.  You are my vision, my life, my love.  You are so beautiful.

And we will live forever.

January 21, 1999 – Thursday – 9:58 p.m.

I worked in the bookstore for eight hours today.  Closing time was chaos, but I laughed my way through it and had a blast.  Mom called me yesterday and told me that Cheryl’s fiancé David had been diagnosed with cancer.  It was in his kidneys and testicles.  He got one testicle and one kidney removed and is taking Chemotherapy.  They still plan to get married this summer even though he may be sterile.  I’ve known Cheryl a long time now; before she was even a teenager.  How strong she must be now.

Where suddenly have we gone?

Life has felt so random the past few days.  I played chess with Jeremy last night and hung out with him and a newly married couple named Andrea and Charles.  Mom and Henry live in a trailer now.  They have some land with it.  Kimberly is having her 16th birthday party on Saturday the 30th.  I’m getting my haircut at Christin’s tomorrow.  Nicole invited me over Saturday evening for a dinner party.  I pretended to be a mannequin at the bookstore today, and I actually fooled some people.

This morning I took some free time and drove around the border into North Carolina.  I went way past Moyock and was reminded of the beauty of my home state.  I miss it so, and I’m glad I’ll always be able to say it is where I am from.

On the way back I visited an amazing park in Chesapeake and found inspiration for a five minute short film.  I hope to make it in my Introduction to Film class.

Today was a good day.

January 18, 1999 – Monday – 9:00 a.m.

What an awesome weekend in the Lord!  I attended a youth convention all day Friday and Saturday.  Jesus is my center.  He is my hope.  He allows me to utter “I am safe.  I am secure.  I will forever be okay.”  Jewel has a song out now that opens with the line, “If I could tell the whole world just one thing, it would be that we’re all okay.”  It’s a beautiful song, but I fear it isn’t true.  How can anyone be okay without Jesus?

My brother turned 24 yesterday.  Crazy!  I called him last night.  He is trying to get involved in a new church in Richmond.  He didn’t go back to school.  He isn’t allowed anymore financial aid.  So much time and money and he never got his degree.  Sad.

I went over to Sterling’s yesterday and we just hung out.  We worked on a puzzle and I played basketball with Cohen.  This whole place, Sterling’s house, Christin’s smile, it all feels like home.  I belong here.  God is moving here.  There is no greater peace than to know you are where you belong.

 

January 13, 1999 – Wednesday – 8:30 a.m.

Haven’t written in a while.

Lindy left Saturday morning.  Our time together was fantastic.  God fell on us at youth service on Friday.  Vince left with Justin Sunday morning.  And then God fell on us at church that night.  Three people had the same vision for me.  They saw me in front of millions.

Classes seem fun so far, but tons of work.

We’ve had prayer meetings at church the past two night.  Something seems to be happening.

I’ll be working on film shoots over the next two months on the weekends.  And when I’m not doing that, I’ll be rehearsing the masks skit.

It is nearing my brother’s birthday.  I don’t even know if he went back to school or what he is doing.

It’s a brand new year.  I must not long for the past anymore.  Forgive me for always doing that God.

Guide me.

Lead me.

 

January 8, 1999 – Friday – 8:20 a.m.

Tracey just left for home.  She stayed the night, along with Vince and Lindy, who are both still here.  They came in last night.  We visited Justin, who was a little sick, and also went to see Christin.

Oh, how I love my friends!  They are so good and so good to me.

I have to go to work soon, but it has been a while since I’ve written, so I just wanted to jot something down.  On Wednesday we had our first Drama meeting of the year.  To begin, I’m going to lead the kids through a six-week discipleship course.  Everything is wonderful!  Classes start soon!

I love you Jesus!

 

January 4, 1999 – Monday – 11:25 p.m.

The first flight was delayed, but I arrived safely and Christin and her mom were waiting patiently to pick me up.  Christin handed me a card as well as a bouquet of sharpened pencils, it was a reference to You’ve Got Mail.  It was nice.

I came home to a tone of messages.  I called Lindy and she said she is coming to visit on Thursday through Saturday.  I can’t wait to see her.  I’m sure we will have the best time in the world.

Earlier today at the Pensacola airport I watched the most amazing family of four.  I saw such a display of love.  I cried inside as I watched them and prayed that God would let me have that someday.

I found a letter from Sarah in my mailbox.  She asked me to pray for her and she thanked me for letting her love me.  The letter was nice, but…well…I guess it’s never too late.

Amy, a teammate from South Africa, also wrote me from France.  She sent beautiful pictures.  It was great to hear from her.

 

January 4, 1999 – Monday – 2:00 p.m.

I am now at the Pensacola airport.  It’s the fourth day of 1999.  It’s not just the end of a decade, but the end of a century.  Knowledge feels rampant, but love feels scares.  I do not know what this year will hold, but I will worship the Lord throughout.

There is a small flock of birds scattered amongst the clouds.  It’s a good day to fly.

I want to be a good student and a good friend this semester.  All of that is much harder than it sounds.  I want to live right.  I’m so thankful to be away from Sarah, and I no longer want to mess with Emily.  I want to start afresh.

I told my good friends at Lees-McRae that I would come visit during my spring break, but I think it might be bad for me to go back.  I do not belong there anymore.  I doubt I will have the money anyway.

Well, they just announced my flight was delayed.  I have to go check something out…

 

January 1, 1999 – Friday – 4:30 p.m.

For the final night of 1998, I attended a prayer service at Brownsville Assembly of God and afterwards I was at a nearby Methodist church until 1:30 a.m.  Several different praise bands were playing.  It was mainly a youth service.  I knew no one there but Jesus and had an amazing time.

And God reminded me then that life would be similar to that event.  I would always find myself worshipping with different groups of people.

I have been been waiting in line in front of Brownsville Assembly for most of this New Year’s Day.  God is good.

I miss home though.  I look forward to flying back.  This break has been nice, for it has caused me to appreciate my life in Virginia Beach so much better now.

Three days are left here.

I may return here, or I may never see this land again.

Yesterday I took a drive and ended up in a small country town by the name of Jay, Florida.  Many people call me Jay.  And that’s where I was during the final sunset of 1998.  The land was so flat, the color of sky took my breath away.

Solitude.

I enjoy mine greatly.

Thanks Lord.