June 4, 1999 – Friday – 10:39 p.m.

Looking back, I see my little midnight drive down the Outer Banks to be the latest Eternal Instant of my life.  It was perfect; just me and the Lord.

I slept Wednesday night for a solid twelve hours.

I met with Dayton today about Master’s Commission.  It’s fifteen days away.  I give God all the glory and thanks for this opportunity.  I’m going to spend three weeks all over Virginia and Los Angeles.  So perfect!  My collection continues to grow.

This has been a difficult week.  There now remains only one week of my summer courses.  I am in four Actor Coaching scenes, I’m directing another one, plus I have a 15-page Film Noir paper due, as well as a Film Noir final exam.  But it will all get done; it always does.  God is good.

After being here for nearly a year, I’m beginning to see how much this place is becoming a part of me.  I remember how bizarre the streets were when I first arrived.  Now I know my way around here like it’s all mine.

Visions of Fire Youth Ministries is simply amazing.  It is an honor to be a part of it.  Our worship band is so anointed.  They play as good as any band on the market.  I feel bad because school keeps me from expanding the drama team.  I’m not really sure what is happening with it, but I am sure that many special, beautiful, and perfect moments occur in this land.  Between the bookstore, the classroom, the church, the youth, the film shoots, and the time I find to be alone…God is blessing me as though I were a king.  He prepared this place for me.

You are my king sweet Jesus!

Forever and ever!

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June 2, 1999 – Wednesday – 7:50 a.m.

Monday night I wrote a script that just popped into my head.  It came so easy and almost seemed to write itself.  Maybe it should be my big project instead of Eyebrows.  

Tuesday night, or rather early this morning, I talked to Allen and Vince.  They are all back from Guatemala.  They seemed to have a good time.  After speaking with them I couldn’t go to sleep.  I missed them and my home state of North Carolina.  So, I drove down to the Outer Banks and returned just now, enough time to go to work.

Kitty Hawk, Kill Devil Hills, and Nags Head all remind me of the touristy mountain towns of western North Carolina, only it’s the beach instead of the mountain views that attract everyone.  I felt home as I drove through them, though I know I haven’t been there since I was a kid.

I ran around on the moonlit beach all by myself, then drove further down until there was water on both sides of me.  I almost hit a pelican, which was just sitting on the road at two in the morning.  On the way back I had some French toast at a 24-hour grill.  It was a nice five-hour, and much needed, vacation.  It gave me time to pray, to be quiet, and to enjoy my own company.

I love North Carolina so much.

To just be there this enough.

It will always be my home.  It will always be where I am from.

Thank you for this morning God; it brought more rest and peace than a full night of sleep ever could.

May 18, 1999 – Tuesday – 10:36 p.m.

This day brought some good news.  Dayton, the conference youth pastor for the PH church called me and asked me to teach/direct 12 chosen teenagers from Virginia and North Carolina some drama to use for street ministry in downtown Richmond, Virginia, and…wait for it…Los Angeles!

Can you believe that?

The dates couldn’t come at a more perfect time.  I will spend three weeks with them from June until July 12th!  Thank you so much God!

I’m going to California!

Woot!  And I’m also about to go see Episode I of Star Wars at a 12:20 a.m. showing.  I’m going with Tom, another film student.

I think the whole Lees-McRae gang is in Guatemala now.  Paul and Rachel are on their honeymoon.  I’m the only one who has really left as of yet.  I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I’ll just take it one day at a time.

1999 is going so fast.

A century is coming to a close.

I’m nearly 23-years-old.

Thank you God for letting me breathe and live.  Thank you for the simple joy of experiencing your love.

May 15, 1999 – Saturday – 8:43 p.m.

It’s the middle of May.  The world seems to be covered in Star Wars merchandise.  If we only celebrated Jesus the way we celebrate Jedi.

I only have four weeks of summer classes remaining.

I believe God is dealing with me about how to graduate.  I could just take comprehensive exams, but I’ve decided I need to make a short film while I’m here.  I am going to make Eyebrows.  It may keep me here another year, but it would be a tragedy if I came out of film school without something major under my belt.

I went to the mall today and quickly grew overwhelmed.  It just seems like the world is getting worse.  How much longer than this go on?  I don’t even feel like I live in this world; I’m not in touch with popular culture.  I’m sure I’m missing out, but I’m so thankful that I’m so comfortable in my solitude.

This evening I spent 15 minutes over at Mary Jo’s.  Her new guy Rob was there and he’s okay, but wow, Mary Jo becomes a complete weirdo when she’s around him.  She even sounds different in her voice.  Super strange.

David and the youth group went to Richmond for Youth Quest, but I stayed back to watch Ed’s short film that I was in.  Our kids did really well and David said that about ten of them will go to Nationals.

I’m proud to work with those kids.

Thanks God.

May 7, 1999 – Friday – 8:02 a.m.

I am now at Sharon’s home in Newland, NC.

Wednesday night was the opening night of the Regent University Film Festival.  The films were actually pretty good, especially The Window, which I bought a copy of.

On Tuesday I took Kerstin to the airport.  She is going to Johnson City, TN, so we decided to meet up while I’m here in the mountains.

I’m going backwards now…on Monday night the Lord really ministered to me at my home group about my relationship with my dad.  Then Wednesday night after the film festival I left for Banner Elk.  I left at one in the morning, drove through the whole night, and arrived at 7:30 in the morning.  I woke everybody up and basically just visited with everyone the whole day.  Everybody is doing great!  I came over to Sharon’s after lunch.  When little Hannah arrived home from school, we just swing danced the whole afternoon together.  Then most of the gang came over here last night and we just hung out the whole time.

It’s so great to be here.  Sharon is the best.  Hannah and Laura are the greatest girls on the planet right now.  This feels more like home than any place I know.  This is where I am from.

Vince and Curtis are on their way over here right now.  They are going with me to pick up Kerstin.  Then tonight we are going to see Sunny at Blue Ridge Community Theater.  Sarah has one of the leads in that show.

Thank you God for these few days here.  I love you.

May 3, 1999 – Monday – 12:29 p.m.

Tammie and Jose came up on Friday and led the youth service.  We all went to IHOP afterwards.  It was so nice to see them.

On Saturday I visited with Sterling and Kimberly.  We watched A Bug’s Life, and that night I went to see a show with Kerstin at the Regent Theater.  Yesterday was my day to work with the Greensprings youth group up in Williamsburg.  I had a great time.  They are so funny up there.

That night I followed them to a totally rocking’ youth service deeper into Williamsburg and God showed up.

I don’t want fame.  I don’t want money.  I only want souls for His Kingdom.

Spend me wherever you desire God.  I am yours.

What a memorable weekend!

April 30, 1999 – Friday – 11:46 a.m.

It is another April 30th.  The sixth one I have experienced since I began keeping my Book of Days.  Into the Woods, Sonburst at Carowinds, driving with Laura, hiking with Jessi, and too much time with Sarah.

Far less special moments seem to be happening here at Regent University than they did at Lees-McRae.  Every day seemed special at Lees-McRae.

Only one thing is lasting: change.

I feel so lazy, so boring, so slow, so stupid.  I have no drive, no excitement, no inspiration. I miss the encouragement of friends I knew I would see every day.

I wonder what God is teaching me.

But the days are not stopping.  This isn’t slowing down.  The sun continues to rise and set.  My story is continuing.  And it seems as though God is my only audience.

I find comfort in only one thought: he will never leave me.

Here we go God.  Please take the lead.