November 8, 1999 – Monday – 11:00 a.m.

Eddie from Lees-McRae is going to be in my movie. He’ll spend the first week of January with me.  So that’s exciting!

I saw Marie on Saturday night.  She is so beautiful!  We talked about relationships and knew we were something, but didn’t know what title to give it.  She said the only relationships God speaks of in his Word are friendships and marriage, so she was hesitant to label us as anything in between.  I don’t think she’s ever had a boyfriend before.

I told Kimberly and Sterling about her, as well as Lindy and Vince.  She is amazing to me.  I feel like a school boy, oh wait, I still am.

October 1, 1999 – Friday – 10:30 p.m.

Much has happened in the past week.  Sadly, the Caedmon’s Call was cancelled because Danielle, the lead female singer, got really sick.  So, Lindy and I just spent the weekend in Lynchburg and we were ourselves.  We got a hotel room, ate out, went to some movies, and just hung out.  It was delightful.  What a good friend.

Tuesday and Wednesday were my auditions for DANG!, and they went so well.  I just returned from callbacks.  All is cast except for the role of Amanda.  I’ll meet with two other girls tomorrow and then we’ll decide.  Our callback process was really something.  Everyone said it was the most fun, even if they didn’t get cast.  It was an amazing time for cast and crew and especially for me.

And so, goodbye September.  Three months remain.  What do they hold?

Oh, I forgot to mention that both my scripts were chosen for me to complete and submit. Then they’ll be voted on again.  And my film came back from the lab for at shoot at Sterling’s house.  We have to do one retake, but that’s no problem.  I just love the world of film!  It is home sweet home.

I look around me and this world seems full of so many stories to tell.  But these pages are dedicated to telling the story of Him and me, and about His freedom, and how to find it.

September 25, 1999 – Saturday – 2:10 p.m.

I’m in Lynchburg, Virginia!  Lindy should be here soon.  Chris didn’t come because he has to play drums at church in the morning.  So it’s just Lindy and I with front row tickets and everything!

I pitched a couple of five minute short films yesterday.  They went over really well.  I pray one will get selected and I get to direct it.  Each selected film receives a budget of $5,000.

All of my corporation stuff is finished.  I opened a bank account and everything.

Three pages remain in this journal.  The last time I was in Lynchburg was Thanksgiving with Vince and Allen back in 1998.  That was ten months ago.  The Virginian and American flags fly above me now.  I am on the Liberty campus.  DC Talk went to school here.  It is nice to be among the mountains.

Last night I went to a huge school-wide barbecue at Pat Robertson’s house.  It was really fun and I met and talked with a couple of girls named Bridgette and Christina.

As I reflect back on these past six months it seems like this book begins and ends with Lindy.  It is nice to have a good friend that expands space and time.  I’ve also been to Maine and California, I held a girl named Mary, and I started a motion picture production company.

So, Jesus, how are we?

Am I where you want me to be?

Am I free?

August 8, 1999 – Sunday – 8:43 a.m.

I got home yesterday around one in the afternoon.  The ten hour drive from Vermont was a completely wonderful thing.  In fact part of me still feels like I’m there under that early morning star-filled sky.  It was nearly as vast as the sky I saw over Africa a year ago.

About 30 minutes after I got home, I got a call from Dayton asking if I was able to go to one final Master’s Commission service.  The service will be later on today, right down the street at Centerville Fellowship.  It’s been about three weeks since I’ve last saw everyone.

Last night I hung out over at Kimberly’s and then met up Sterling and family at Upton’s.  They went home, and I went to see The Blair Witch Project.  I had heard the whole thing was made up, but that didn’t keep me from being scared.  My knees were knocking against each other.  The theater was packed and some people clearly believed all the marketing and thought it was really found footage.  I saw a group of girls so terrified they ended up sitting in the same seat holding each other.  It was pretty cool.

Mary called me last night and we talked for about three hours.  She’s so funny.  She’s so weird.  I’m glad we’re good friends.  I’m glad me being myself seems to bless her.

Throughout our conversation I kept talking about Lindy since I had just recently seen her and her parents.  I was just talking about what a wonderful friendship we had, and then after a while Mary said, “Jacob, you’re in love with her!”

Uh…

I just kept talking.  Part of me was thinking “Duh! Like I don’t know that.”  But the other part of me was thinking, “Are you crazy, she’s like my sister!”

But this isn’t a new thought.  I’ve always battled those two thoughts.  Lindy is my friend, one of the best I’ve ever known.  We seem to never run out of things to tell each other.  Wouldn’t it be nice to wake up next to someone and have everything in the world to talk about?  What a beautiful miracle that would be.

 

August 6, 1999 – Friday – 8:32 a.m.

Well… I am in Freeport, Maine.

Wednesday morning I left Banner Elk to drive through Tennessee, Virginia, and West Virginia to get to Mount Airy, MD.  I stayed with Lindy’s parents.  Her house is so neat.  She is from classic, small town America.  Her parents and I had some pasta and then walked around downtown.  I wish she could have been with me.

I woke up yesterday morning and drove through Pennsylvania and New York to get to Connecticut, where I took a scenic route, and then drove through Rhode Island and downtown Boston, Massachusetts.  Boston was under some major construction and the traffic was horrible, so I got out of there as fast as possible, drove through a small corner of New Hampshire, and now I’m in Freeport, Maine, just outside of Portland.

I couldn’t find a campground and it was pouring outside, so I got a hotel room that cost me over $70.  It is really kind of scary being way up here all alone.  It didn’t hit me until it got dark.  Portland seems interesting, but I’ve been listening to the radio and they are talking about Y2K, which sounds terrifying.

Well, I’m going to leave this shoreline and drive up to the mountains.

 

August 4, 1999 – Wednesday – 8:15 a.m.

Yesterday was Lindy’s birthday.  We took her out to eat and to see Runaway Bride.  It was a fantastic time.  She’s 22.  We are only the same age together for two weeks every year.

I got to see Jeni last night.  We talked and caught up.  She is so busy with work and with marriage that she realize her relationship with the Lord feels very distant.  Again, it made me thankful that God was the only one on my heart at the moment.

In a little while I will leave from here and head north.  The Lord is my shepherd.  He is my guide.  My goal is to simply go away with him and see is creation.

Deep Creek last weekend brought bittersweet feelings.  I think I would like to go much less often and keep it a part of my childhood.  I did stand on my ledge and it was wonderful to pray there.

Talking to everyone about marriage is crazy.  Allen and Jessica really feel right for each other.  I’m excited for them.  Of course Dan and Abigail will probably get married next year as well.

God is keeping me young at this stage of life.  So, I leave my old college town now and prepare for the road ahead.  I am in your hands Father.  Protect me, guide me, love me.

 

August 2, 1999 – Monday – 11:00 a.m.

Much has happened in the past several days.  I am in Banner Elk, NC.  My last day on the film shoot was Friday, so Friday night I drove to Siler City, NC.  I spent the night with Peter at the Motor Lodge.  He was there with his girl Shivani and we stayed up until two in the morning, just talking.  I left early Saturday morning and went to Sylva and met up with my grandparents.  We all went to Deep Creek for the family reunion.  Everyone was there except for Nar, Kevin, and Patty.

I left Bryson City that night and drove up here to Banner Elk.  I went to Lees-McRae, but couldn’t find a soul.  I did finally find Jessi and learned that Sarah was in a show that night.  I only got to see her for about ten minutes.  Then I found out that Allen and Jessica had just returned from their road trip to Colorado, so I spent the night at Allen’s, as did Jessica.  They are getting married next summer.

We went to Banner Elk Christian Fellowship yesterday morning and there I saw Lindy and Tracey and Ashley and tons of others.  Dan was still in town saying goodbye to Abigail, who is going to Austria.  We all just freaked out when we saw each other!  We all went out to lunch, hung out all afternoon, then went out to dinner.  Everyone is working this morning, so I’m riding with Sharon to Asheville and back later today.  Vince is away on a cruise.  I miss him.

But here I am on a flat rock off the Blue Ridge Parkway.  I came here early this morning with Curtis and we took some amazing pictures.

Time to go meet Sharon.

. . .

It’s now 8:20 p.m. on the same day.

Sharon and Hannah and I drove to Asheville, she just had to get an Allergy shot, so I rode along so we could chat.  While down there we went to go see Runaway Bride; a perfect movie.  I don’t know if I’ve ever left a movie theater so happy before; there is such wisdom in that film.

Sharon and I had wonderful talks all day about life and love and Jesus and forgiveness.  Oh how I love and adore that woman.  I told her about Mary and she caught me up on Laura.

Runaway Bride taught me so much and I’m so thankful that I’m single right now.  After tomorrow, which is Lindy’s birthday, I’m going to get in the car and just drive.  I’m just going to keep driving and stay in weird places and be with my Jesus.  We are going on a honeymoon, if you will.