June 14, 1997 – Saturday – 1:00 a.m.

Orientation was today.  I met some soon to be new students; two beautiful tennis players from Texas named Monica and Amber.  I will drive them to the airport tomorrow.  I also met a new Performing Arts major named Sarah.

I spent some time with Kim, she’s part of the orientation committee.  We talked and laughed a lot together.  She complemented me on my hair.  And I worked with Lindy in the box office.  We have such a good time, just hours of laughter.  I later watched the NBA championship with Samarah, played with Mangus, Allison and Craig’s cat, and visited with Tracey, Jeni, and Ann-Marie.

And now I’m in my bed in the middle of the night.  I just mentioned nine different girls.  I wonder if any of them are Her?  Right now the closest thing feels to be the Durango postcard on my wall.  There’s a foot and four inches between us, but we often seem to be on the same level.  I went and took a picture of her favorite tree the other day.

I like it when I miss people.  Reminds me that they really do matter.  You can’t miss someone unless you first genuinely share your life with them.

June 11, 1997 – Wednesday – 12:15 p.m.

Life is good.  I go running every morning and I sleep in the peace of Jesus every night.  I pray and read his word every day.  I talk with friends in the afternoon at the box office and get paid for it.  I spent Sunday evening with Dawn until about 11:00 p.m.  She and Derek aren’t together anymore.  Derek wants to date other people.  I’ve seen all this happen before.

I’ve been trying to witness to Samarah, she is the RA in Canon this summer.  We went shopping the other night and had fun.  She feel so far from God at the moment.  Lindy and I have been talking about God and my faith a little.  I can’t help but talk about Jesus these days.

Rachel has been emailing me.  She wants me to go to a Chrysalis weekend in Virginia.  I’m going to try to go.  Its the first weekend in August.

Orientation is this weekend.  I’m going to help check people in and then on Saturday I’m driving two girls back to the airport.  Next week is Vacation Bible School.  I’m playing the main character of a play I wrote for the week.

The summer seems to be flying by so fast.  June is nearly half over.

Jessica still might get to be an RA.  One girl got a full scholarship and doesn’t need the job anymore.  I was so happy when I found that news out.


June 5, 1997 – Thursday – 11:50 p.m.

Let’s see, what has happened these past couple of days?  The box office has opened; business is slow.  Lindy, my assistant, and I have wonderful conversations while we work.  She is simply great.  Last night Jeni and Tracey and I spent the night at a house down in Foscoe (they were house sitting).  I fell down the stairs; it really scared me.  I went swimming with Allen, Vince, and Laura on Wednesday.  Been chatting with MovieMark on the Rebecca St. James chatline, and he isn’t doing too well.  I got Jerry Maquire in the mail and I’ve watched it a couple of times already.  And, well, we leave for Promise Keepers in the morning.

Life has never felt so fast.

Will this ever slow down?

March 1, 1997 – Saturday – 1:35 a.m.

Earlier tonight, on the last day of February, Josh and Timothy went to the Pantry to get themselves some hot dogs while all of us watched a movie together in my room.  When they returned with the Pantry dogs, Josh picks up the phone and dials a number, then I hear him say:

“Hey Jeni, I just want you to know that we went to and guess who we saw, yep, David.  And he was hugging and flirting with this other girl.”

I was convinced that Josh wasn’t really talking to Jeni and that he was just playing a joke on me, but then Timothy grabbed the phone and said, “Jeni, don’t listen to him, it was just the youth pastor at church.”

I grabbed the phone and said, “Jeni, I can’t believe Josh just did that.  I am personally kicking his butt right now.”  And I could hear her crying on the other end.

What a cruel joke.  I asked everyone to leave and I went to go see Jeni.  Everyone was over there:  Jeni, Tracey, Abigail, Ann-Marie, and Lindy.  I made sure Jeni was okay and then came back to the dorm since I was on duty.

Well, the girls then all came over and visited with me later.

First just Abigail and Jeni came.  It was weird; we just sort of held each other.  I began to run my fingers along Abigail’s face and through her hair.  Other people came in: Timothy, Tracey, Todd, Ann-Marie, Lindy, but I just kept touching Abigail’s face.  And she just laid there with her eyes closed.

I remember praying earlier in the evening.  I asked God why I was alone.  I told him how badly I needed to share my heart.  Then Abigail came over and for well over two hours I studied every micro inch of her beautiful soft face.  I ran my fingers along her forehead, eyebrows, cheeks, nose, lips, chin, and neck.

I’m falling.

This one is going to hurt.

It’s two o’clock in the morning on the 1st day of March in the year of our Lord 1997.

She enjoys my touch.

And I enjoying touching her.

Thank you God for letting me share my heart tonight.

January 11, 1997 – Saturday – 9:30 a.m.

I can’t get her off my mind.  I talked to her briefly at lunch on Thursday.  She looked at me in such a way…oh, it drove me crazy.  We had another Bible study on Friday at 3 o’clock.  It was me, Abigail, Ann-Marie, Jessica, and Shawna.  We had it up in Abigail and Jessica’s room.  Abigail remembered back home that her church back home is having a penny drive for missionaries in the Philippines.  She asked me to help her raise some.  I went around collecting and in just two days we had $20 collected.  Bible study was really cool!  It’s so great to see Abigail’s face light up because of what we are learning.  We prayed at the end and she prayed in the spirit under her breath.  I was right next to her, holding her hand.  Her prayer was so beautiful.

That night, last night, we got together in Ann-Marie’s room and watched some movies.  Shawn and Jessica were in there for a while, but they left and it was just myself, Abigail, Ann-Marie, and Lindy.  It was fun.  Abigail and I had a little pillow fight.  She was sitting in front of me while we watched Shag, a movie I didn’t like at all, and I found myself not watching the movie, but just studying her.  They way her cheek curved around her face, the three strands of hair that stuck out from her bun, and how when she leaned forward I could count 10 wrinkles in her shirt, but there were only seven when she leaned back.

What’s happening God?  I haven’t thought about a girl like this in years.

April 9, 1996 -Tuesday – 7:50 p.m.

Another Tuesday.  I am on duty.

Earlier in the day I got a Literature test back.  I made a 98 on it.  I was pleased.

After lunch, Curtis and I went to Boone.  I had a doctor’s appointment.  On the way back we stopped by Eckerd Drug.  I walked in looking for some shampoo and a female voice said hello to me.  I stopped, turned, and looked.  A pretty smile, pretty hair, but I didn’t know her name.  I had had a conversation with her on Easter Sunday at Marty and Stan’s.  She is married however.  A new couple at church.  Our conversation was simply a few sentences about Michael W. Smith, but she remembered my name.  Thank you.

Dan and I played Tetris 2 and then I studied my lines for a scene from The Importance of Being Earnest.  Jensen, a guy down the hall, came in and talked to me for a while. I just got off the phone with Lindy.  I had to ask her about a work call for our team in Performing Arts.  We ended up talking for over half an hour about tons of different things.  It felt good to spend 30 minutes on the phone hearing a female voice other than my mother’s.

It has been snowing all day.  The second week of April and it’s still snowing.

Time is flying by as always.  I don’t mind it much though.

I am looking forward to heaven.

February 21, 1996 – Wednesday – 1:10 p.m.

I can write with my right hand now, but I still have the cast on.

In a week’s time, February will be over.  The show opens this weekend.

Today was the first spring-like day in many months.  Although I know March will still bring some snow, I’m looking forward to warm weather.

I talked to Lindy on the phone last night.  She called me.  I’m glad we are in this show together.

Katerina (my director) and I always flirt with each other.  I called her last night.  I have to meet her at 2:00 p.m. today.  We’re just going to talk about the show.

This warm weather makes me think of the summer.  It reminds me of Crestview.  I really do miss Emily.

But my collection must grow.

Spring Break is in 15 days.