June 7, 1999 – Monday – 7:00 a.m.

Saturday night the youth group had a big bon-fire cookout thing out in Suffolk.  The stars were so bright and pretty and there were railroad tracks.  I love railroad tracks!

Sterling, Christin, and Kimberly toilet-papered my car and I made them feel terrible about it, which I later felt horrible about.

We had a meeting yesterday with the Master’s Commission team.  I met my other partner, her name is Mary.  She is very sweet and very pretty and love’s God more than anything.  We leave in less than two weeks.

Because of that, I’ve made some changes to the drama team.  Michelle is now the leader with Robin and Angie as her helpers.  I’ll mentor them when I can, but I just have too many other things going on.  I have rehearsals every night this week for school.  I even have a few during lunch time.  And I still have to finish my 15-page paper.

Time is moving so fast.

But at least I’m not bored.

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June 4, 1999 – Friday – 10:39 p.m.

Looking back, I see my little midnight drive down the Outer Banks to be the latest Eternal Instant of my life.  It was perfect; just me and the Lord.

I slept Wednesday night for a solid twelve hours.

I met with Dayton today about Master’s Commission.  It’s fifteen days away.  I give God all the glory and thanks for this opportunity.  I’m going to spend three weeks all over Virginia and Los Angeles.  So perfect!  My collection continues to grow.

This has been a difficult week.  There now remains only one week of my summer courses.  I am in four Actor Coaching scenes, I’m directing another one, plus I have a 15-page Film Noir paper due, as well as a Film Noir final exam.  But it will all get done; it always does.  God is good.

After being here for nearly a year, I’m beginning to see how much this place is becoming a part of me.  I remember how bizarre the streets were when I first arrived.  Now I know my way around here like it’s all mine.

Visions of Fire Youth Ministries is simply amazing.  It is an honor to be a part of it.  Our worship band is so anointed.  They play as good as any band on the market.  I feel bad because school keeps me from expanding the drama team.  I’m not really sure what is happening with it, but I am sure that many special, beautiful, and perfect moments occur in this land.  Between the bookstore, the classroom, the church, the youth, the film shoots, and the time I find to be alone…God is blessing me as though I were a king.  He prepared this place for me.

You are my king sweet Jesus!

Forever and ever!

May 26, 1999 – Wednesday – 7:38 a.m.

I slept with the window open last night and this bird that sounded like Scuttle woke me up.

The past few days have been pleasant.  Matt has been gone for the past three weeks, but he finally returned last night.  My summer classes have been nice and I’ve been able to act in one of them.

It is nearing June, which is the month in which I first came here.

God is good to me.  I’m thankful everyday.

I’ll finish school on the 14th of June and then I’ll work as the Key Grip on Josh’s film until the 20th.  That’s when I’ll leave for Northern Virginia.  I’ll spend two weeks all over Virginia and then one week in L.A.  And it looks like I’ll get to see Brandon while I’m over in L.A.  He’s my good buddy who moved out to Arizona when I was in high school.

I love you Jesus.

May 13, 1999 – Thursday – 10:37 p.m.

My first year of graduate school is over.  Summer has arrived.  I have four truly treasured moments from the past year.  Kimberly telling me that I made her feel alive.  My aunt Patty singing the song she wrote about my grandpa.  Vince, Lindy, Tracey, and Justin talking over our random meal of chili, fish sticks, and spaghetti.  Finally, the night at the ice rink with all the teenagers.

Tonight I ate dinner with Gina and Chris at Ruby Tuesdays and then came back to watch Titanic.  I cried…again.  It’s good to know the movie still moves me after eight times.  I spent a little time with the girls over at Nicole’s place as well.  And I told Mary Jo about my weekend at Lees-McRae and how wonderful it was to see Sarah.

I find joy in writing her name.

April 30, 1999 – Friday – 11:46 a.m.

It is another April 30th.  The sixth one I have experienced since I began keeping my Book of Days.  Into the Woods, Sonburst at Carowinds, driving with Laura, hiking with Jessi, and too much time with Sarah.

Far less special moments seem to be happening here at Regent University than they did at Lees-McRae.  Every day seemed special at Lees-McRae.

Only one thing is lasting: change.

I feel so lazy, so boring, so slow, so stupid.  I have no drive, no excitement, no inspiration. I miss the encouragement of friends I knew I would see every day.

I wonder what God is teaching me.

But the days are not stopping.  This isn’t slowing down.  The sun continues to rise and set.  My story is continuing.  And it seems as though God is my only audience.

I find comfort in only one thought: he will never leave me.

Here we go God.  Please take the lead.

April 25, 1999 – Sunday – 11:05 p.m.

It feels much later into that night than it actually is.  Winter has definitely passed.  It is curious how the sun rises and sets and many do not seem to notice.  In eleven days I revisit Lees-McRae again.  It will be a blessing to lay my eyes on that land and its people again.  Thank you for this opportunity Lord.

In one week and one day my first year of graduate school will be no more.  Ice-skating was really wonderful last night.  We were there for about three hours until I took the time to soak in everything around me.  I am surrounded by treasures in these young people.  Each are so beautiful.  And it seems now as if a part of me is forever trapped in that ice rink.  God, for some reason, seems to be keeping me young.  Everyone tells me I look like a high-schooler and I hang around a bunch of high-schoolers.  Why is he doing this?  I know not.  And life should always be as such… not knowing.  What a beautiful thing.

My personal internal passion for cinema and theater and art is growing and expanding.  It feels as though I will die if I cannot do this.  I will starve.  It is how I worship, how I love, how I communicate.  It says in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God will complete the work he has begun in me.  He will finish my story.  He is the author and perfecto of my faith.  Do this sweet thing Jesus.  I give you my broken soul.  You are my life.

I pray you find pleasure in me.

I love you so.

It’s hard to stop writing.  I want nothing but to talk with you forever.

April 20, 1999 – Tuesday – 5:30 p.m.

I found out today that the class schedule has changed.  They are only offering Advanced Directing in the fall now.  I could take it in the Spring of 2000, which now means I will not be able to direct a five-minute film, much less a 25-minute film.  But I will still graduate and I’m sure God has a plan.

I began doing some research on the net for internships.  I sent an email into Screen Gems Studios in Wilmington, NC.  It looks like a nice place.  We’ll see.

I ran into Mary Jo yesterday night.  She received an email from an old college guy she really liked and he’s now engaged to another girl.  Mary Jo was full of tears.  I went with her to her apartment, sat close by her, and listened.

She sent me an email today saying thanks for listening.  I wrote her back, telling her she was a complete treasure.

Christin needs a prom date, and she asked me.  I said I would be glad to take her, but I don’t have any money.  So, her parents offered to pay for me, get my tux, pay for dinner and everything.  I couldn’t say no.  I didn’t go to my own prom, but at age 22, I’m going to one now.  It’s about a month away.

There are only two weeks of classes left.  This place is quickly passing me by.