June 4, 1999 – Friday – 10:39 p.m.

Looking back, I see my little midnight drive down the Outer Banks to be the latest Eternal Instant of my life.  It was perfect; just me and the Lord.

I slept Wednesday night for a solid twelve hours.

I met with Dayton today about Master’s Commission.  It’s fifteen days away.  I give God all the glory and thanks for this opportunity.  I’m going to spend three weeks all over Virginia and Los Angeles.  So perfect!  My collection continues to grow.

This has been a difficult week.  There now remains only one week of my summer courses.  I am in four Actor Coaching scenes, I’m directing another one, plus I have a 15-page Film Noir paper due, as well as a Film Noir final exam.  But it will all get done; it always does.  God is good.

After being here for nearly a year, I’m beginning to see how much this place is becoming a part of me.  I remember how bizarre the streets were when I first arrived.  Now I know my way around here like it’s all mine.

Visions of Fire Youth Ministries is simply amazing.  It is an honor to be a part of it.  Our worship band is so anointed.  They play as good as any band on the market.  I feel bad because school keeps me from expanding the drama team.  I’m not really sure what is happening with it, but I am sure that many special, beautiful, and perfect moments occur in this land.  Between the bookstore, the classroom, the church, the youth, the film shoots, and the time I find to be alone…God is blessing me as though I were a king.  He prepared this place for me.

You are my king sweet Jesus!

Forever and ever!

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April 27, 1999 – Tuesday – 5:49 p.m.

I’ve been thinking a lot today.  It feels as though Regent University has no true community, no roots, no sense of place within itself.  It’s a 20-year-old school, where the average student is 35-years-old, married, and has children, and it is part of the largest city in the state of Virginia!  Lees-McRae is over 100-years-old, and is nestled is a small corner of the Blue Ridge Mountains where the town and the school couldn’t exist without each other.

I’ve moved from a school where everyone knew my name, to a school where they don’t even stop and say hello.  And yet this place is suppose to be preparing Christian leaders.  Something is not right here.  People care more about their grades than their classmates.  No one seems to be taking the time to simply be with the people around them.  Is that what adulthood is?

Oh save me God!  This simply shouldn’t be.  Help me not conform to the ways of this place, but to be present with them, to know them, to love them.

April 20, 1999 – Tuesday – 5:30 p.m.

I found out today that the class schedule has changed.  They are only offering Advanced Directing in the fall now.  I could take it in the Spring of 2000, which now means I will not be able to direct a five-minute film, much less a 25-minute film.  But I will still graduate and I’m sure God has a plan.

I began doing some research on the net for internships.  I sent an email into Screen Gems Studios in Wilmington, NC.  It looks like a nice place.  We’ll see.

I ran into Mary Jo yesterday night.  She received an email from an old college guy she really liked and he’s now engaged to another girl.  Mary Jo was full of tears.  I went with her to her apartment, sat close by her, and listened.

She sent me an email today saying thanks for listening.  I wrote her back, telling her she was a complete treasure.

Christin needs a prom date, and she asked me.  I said I would be glad to take her, but I don’t have any money.  So, her parents offered to pay for me, get my tux, pay for dinner and everything.  I couldn’t say no.  I didn’t go to my own prom, but at age 22, I’m going to one now.  It’s about a month away.

There are only two weeks of classes left.  This place is quickly passing me by.

April 11, 1999 – Sunday – 10:03 a.m.

I saw three bald eagles yesterday at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg.  I went with Sterling’s family, Christin, and Jeremy.  We had a great time despite the fact that Jeremy talked about himself the whole time.  He seems so desperate for attention; help me give him what he needs Lord.

Friday morning was the Lunchbox theater performance of A Midsummer Night’s Dream where I had a small role.  It went really well.

We had drama practice yesterday and God really moved on me during the youth service.

Something is happening though.  Something I cannot explain or put a finger on.  I pray I do not take this life for granted.  None of this seems to be lasting, yet it is all so distracting.  Please don’t tell me what is happening God.  I’m afraid I might run away!

 

March 20, 1999 – Saturday – 5:52 p.m.

Vince, Lindy, and Tracey just left.  They are stopping by Vince’s house on the way back to LMC.  We had a wonderful time together.  We met up with Justin for lunch on Friday and then went to the Norfolk Zoo, which holds the world’s funniest ostrich.  That night the youth group kids really got a kick out of Vince and I doing our funny duck walks.  We visited Justin at his house afterwards and watched movies.

I had an audition for a short film this morning.  He had me read with four different people and it took over an hour and a half.  I hope I get something.  That afternoon we all went to a birthday party for a little guy at church.

It was so wonderful having Vince, Lindy, and Tracey here.  Even now, I miss them so much.  I pray our friendships never die.

I plan on going to a show at Regent tonight.  I’ve invited Kimberly to come with me.

Many things are on my mind right now, but I just want to lay before the Lord in silence.  It is, as you know, the first day of spring.

 

March 7, 1999 – Sunday – 8:03 a.m.

Yesterday was unbelievable.

Friday night was extraordinary!

I have a friend in Jesus.  Our youth group is exploding; four people met Jesus for the first time on Friday.

And on Saturday, I directed and starred in my first ever film.  Not video…film.  16mm film.  It went really well!  There were some challenging moments, but I simply got creative and solved them.  God intervened!

Janie, the beautiful mom of 25 I met on Jorge’s film, was my leading actress.  It’s amazing how God arranges things for me.  Something as small as Jorge’s homework becomes a God-ordained moment.

Throughout the entire day, I felt I was home.

Thank you God for allow us to create and to tell stories.

February 25, 1999 – Thursday – 8:27 a.m.

I know I haven’t written in a while.  I guess I’ve been sad.  Last week I saw Amy at a missions informational meeting.  We had an okay time, but we both seemed tired.  I called her a day or two later to ask her out again, but she seemed to be blowing me off, always saying she was busy.  I called again on another night, but I eventually got the message that she didn’t want to pursue us.  I told Sterling and Christin about her and they said I shouldn’t have taken her to the ocean front when I asked her out for hot chocolate.  They said taking girls to the strip means you only want to sleep with them.

What?  How was I supposed to know that?  I’m from the mountains!  I took her there because I think the waves sound nice as you are walking along the boardwalk.

Oh well.

I was an actor in a short film called TR.  It was so much fun!  It lasted two days and I had a lot of scenes with two little kids named Jessica and Frank, ages 9 and 11.  We had a great time.  Mark a fellow student who also acted along side me.  I picked him up everyday and we had nice talks as we drove back and forth to the location.  He’s from Minnesota, married, and in his 30s.

On Sunday I went on a location scout for my short film Forever.  We may be having trouble locking it down.

I had a midterm exam yesterday that went okay.  Last night I led the discipleship class and we sort of evaluated where everyone was.  I was disappointed with how some participated.  Hardly any of the kids have been working through the books.  They seem to be stuck in a rut, but I’ve been there many times.

I prayed Matthew 18:3 over all of us, “unless we become like little children, we will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”  Little children love to learn and they love to let their fathers take care of them.

Change me oh God!