May 27, 1996 – Monday – 9:40 p.m.

It’s raining now.  Warm rain.  Legends of the Fall soundtrack is playing.  My contacts are out.  I’m wearing my glasses.  I left around 2:30 p.m. and went with Marcus to visit his day care.  So many adorable little kids there.  How innocent.  They all adore Marcus.  He adores all of them.

My  parents are taking advantage of me while I’m here.  They make me watch Nate so they can go off and they always have me washing the dishes.  They make it known to me that life is simpler for them when I am not here.  I suppose that’s good.

It’s funny how to me how life at Lees-McRae, a life full of papers, deadlines, rehearsal, meetings, homework, studying, projects, and tons of responsibility seems much simpler to me than this life of working at McDonalds, hanging out with my friends, and dealing with my family.  All of this seems so stressful and complicated.

We rented Powder tonight.  I like that movie.  It sees people from the inside.

There are times when I feel as if people are staring at me.  I feel separated.  Alone.  Wanting only to go home.  When I’m in Siler City, I want to go to Banner Elk.  When I’m in Banner Elk, I want to go to Heaven.

So, for the next four days, I’ll be waiting.  Waiting to go home, waiting for things to make sense again.

I need you Lord.

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