August 22, 1994 – Monday – 1:21 p.m.

The few days I have left are passing by.  The atmosphere is thrilling here as always, but it’s as though it’s all going to die.  But this next time will be bigger and bright than I’ve known it before.  So, watch me fly.  I know I can do it.

There’s so much to say.  Not just today, but always.  Are these real life conversations or movies?  Will someone tell me what’s happening?  I just don’t know.  I can’t tell if it’s real.  I don’t know how to feel.  This movie plays and plays before me.  The screen before me fills and it must be his will.  It seems as though he was right all along.  From him I can feel the love every night.

But why God, why this pain?  Why does it feel like I’m going insane?  Who are all these girls that float in my head?  Oh my friends and their friends too!  All these voices ringing in my head.  This is all I’ve ever known.  My heart is literally aching in my chest.  Why me?  What’s your plan?  If you can’t do this, no one can.

Right here there are no strings

A guy like me can live like a king

Just as long as I don’t believe anything

But you’re there and I know you’re true

So here I am, I’m waiting on you.

You speak and I know I’m not alone.  You’re standing right here with me.  Off we go together.  All I do God, it’s all for you.  Just you.