February 19, 1995 – Sunday – 3:30 p.m.

Church was wonderful this morning.  Laura’s family wasn’t there, so I didn’t get to see her.  Crystal wasn’t there either.  I borrowed Richard’s car to get there.  It felt good to drive again.  Now it takes me five minutes to get to church; back home it took me twenty-five.

After church, I ran lights for A Piece of My Heart and then came here to my room.  The show opens Tuesday.  It’s a good show and I’m glad I could help out.

Michelle, a girl here at school, asked me if Jeni and I would ever get back together.

“I don’t want that to happen,” I said.

And I don’t.  I don’t want her anymore.  Deep down inside me I wish she would go back to Cincinnati to be with her mother and just finish up school there.  I am not going to be her husband.  I don’t want to be.  However, I’m still thankful for her and I’m sure that I will appreciate her more in the future.  I pray that she find love, Lord.

Yesterday I did homework all day.  I did stop to watch a movie called The Seventh Sign that came on TV.  Demi Moore starred in it.  I thought it was pretty awesome!

That evening I decided to go for another walk with my Lord.

We walked along Elk River.  It was a nice night.  There was a small breeze out.  On our way back we stopped at the bridge and we stayed there for a while.

I told Him some stuff.  He told me some stuff.  I laughed.  He laughed.

I sang to Him.  He listened and smiled.

We had fun.

Then I said, “Lord, this has been one of the greatest nights of my life.  This cool winter air.  This beautiful waterfall and light mist that blows up in the air.  The sound of the rushing water and You next to me.  I’m so happy.  I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.  I could stay this way forever.”

“You can,” He said.

I smiled.  A huge smile.

These years will pass.  One by one.  But I’ll never lose my smile.  It’s the smile my Jesus gave me.

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September 28, 1994 – Wednesday – 11:55 p.m.

I just got back from going on a walk with Jeni.  We prayed together about some things and we talked about stuff as we kissed each other after every other word.  She told me tonight that she loves looking into my eyes because it shows her how much I love Christ.

Someone in the cast is letting me borrow his extra pair of ballet shoes, and someone told me of the little makeup that I need and how little it costs  I can actually afford it.

Thank you Lord for providing for my needs.  Thank you for sending me Jeni.  She is so great Lord and she loves you more than anything.

I adore you Lord.  I lift your name on high.  I praise you.  I magnify you.  You are wonderful Jesus.  Thank you Holy Spirit.

El Shaddai!

Yahweh!

I love you!!!

September 22, 1994 – Thursday – 3:35 p.m.

Remember this day!

Last night after rehearsal I walked Jeni back to her dorm and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk today at 1:00 p.m.  She said yes.

So I called her at 12:55 p.m. and reminded her.  I met her at her dorm and we took at walk down to Elk River on the back side of campus.  We talked about a few things.  We saw something really neat on the other side of the creek, so we tried to cross.  One part was too wide between the rocks, so I suggested that she go first.  I’m not sure why I offered for her to go first, but she did and, yep, she fell in.  She fell right on her but and her jeans were soaked.  We both laughed and picked on each other.  We sat down and talked about one thing, knowing we were thinking about another.  I knew it was up to me to say something.

As we walked back, I said this:

“Jeni, I know that I have told you about meeting my friends at Carowinds and how they will probably want to go around with me.  But the one person I really want to go on all the rides with and see all the concerts with is you.  A week ago, I didn’t even know your name, but now I can’t stop thinking about you and I think you should know that.”

She smiled and said, “Well, I’m glad you feel that way.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just took a hold of her hand.  “So, can I see you?”  I asked.

“Yes!” she said.

I’m suppose to meet her for dinner at five.

My roommate tells me that my brother Kevin called, as well as some other girl.  He didn’t get her name.

September 22, 1994.

I am about five weeks older than Jeni.

Veronica was five years younger.

I know it sounds stupid, but this is a first for me.