December 28, 1993 – Tuesday – 8:43 p.m.

My Grandpa came to visit me today.  He is still the wisest man I know.  I hope I will be like him when I am his age.  Wouldn’t it be something if I kept writing My Book of Days past sixty?  Over 50 years of my life written down.

I just read the introduction in my new Les Miserables book.  Victor Hugo finished writing the book of his life when he was sixty.  I’m 17 and I think Challenger’s Deep is the book of my life.

What will all these days mean to me when I’m sixty?  I’m almost done with my fourth Book of Days.  Is any of this important?

My life has hardly begun.

But nevertheless, it has begun.  I’m here.  I am on this earth, and I can’t leave.  I have to be here.  I often think if I would be a different person if I were born into another family and another environment.  But now that I think about it, it is stupid to think that way.  This is the only life I’ve ever known.  God gave me this life.  I don’t have a choice.  I am me, whoever I am.

I guess that is ultimately up to me to decide.  God gave me free will, but in that free will he gave me characteristics of who he created me to be.  He has a will, but it is up to me to live up to it.

Have I figured myself out yet?  I believe I have.  I know I have.  The people I’ve come in contact with know that I’m a person who loves Jesus, loves the theater, tells stupid jokes, is inspired by Les Miserables, and sees himself as something valuable in the future.  I am a person with hope.  I person with joy.  This is my duty.  I can’t be anyone else.  I guess the beautiful thing is, I like who I am.  I like hanging out with me.  I like who I have to be and need to be for other people.

This could actually be fun.

December 27, 1993 – Monday – 11:06 p.m.

Today I went shopping with Kevin and Dad.  I bought two pairs of jeans, a complete unabridged 1460 page paperback edition of Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables, and a new cast recording of Guys and Dolls.

Guys and Dolls is okay, but not nearly as good as Les Miz, Miss Saigon, Phantom of the Opera, or Cats.

In the Bible, it says to praise the Lord and thank him for His work.  Well, today I saw some amazing and beautiful works at the mall.  God had a good thing in mind when he created women.

This evening I played a game called “Slot Poker” on Dad’s computer.  Just seeing the cards reminded me of the first time I met Emily up at Deep Creek.  I got a letter from her a few weeks ago and I sent her a Christmas card.

I miss her.

Those three hours spent with her, a complete stranger at the time, were wonderful.  But that was in June, and it is nearly January.

We are supposed to plan our Deep Creek trips for ’94 at the same time.  That would be so awesome if I got to see her again.

Please God.

Let it happen.

I don’t know why she’s on my mind God, but please take care of her.

Thank you.