August 24, 1995 – Thursday – 10:45 a.m.

I went to two classes this morning.  Art Appreciation and Computers.  I have one more at three o’clock.

Today, after my Art Appreciation class, I went to the Chaffee Building to talk to the Director of Financial Aid.  After our conversation I headed back out and there I saw Syndi.  Her red hair was down, flowing as she walked.  She looked at me and smiled, but couldn’t talk.  She has a soar throat.  We walked a little ways together.  I told her some things and she just smiled really big.  That bright red hair and no voice!  She was just like Ariel!


We talked for about 45 minutes on the phone last night.  It’s so great knowing she is here.  I want to help her.  I want to show her Jesus.

I have found myself thinking about her.  I have found myself wanting to hold her.  Hold her like I held her during the midnight hours of May 7th and 8th.

She asked me about Emily.  I told her.  She tells me about her Eric.  But she says she is leaving after this semester to go to a University in Tampa.

While walking yesterday, we came across a beautiful home for sale.  She pointed to it and said that would be our house one day.  Every flower she saw she picked and gave it to me.

But she needs and wants a friend who will take care of her.

And that friend is me.

Syndi.  My little mermaid.

She is, and forever will be, special.

October 8, 1994 – Saturday – 9:35 a.m.

Guess what…Cheryl, Ryan, Christi and Amy didn’t come last night.  I called them and they said that Ryan’s dad wouldn’t let her drive three hours there and three hours back just to see a play.  Oh well.

Last night was our best performance so far.  After the performance, Jeni and I, plus Rachel, Mary, Tracey, and Lu Lu watched The Little Mermaid in Mary’s room.  You know, I just realized that I don’t really hang around with guys that much.  Charlie is the only one.  I only see James at performances.  It was the same way back home in a way.

. . .

I just called Jonathan.  I finally got in touch with him.  His fall break is next week.  He says he might come see me.  He says he is having bad luck with girls.  I told him about Jeni and he couldn’t believe it.  No one can.

Jeni’s mom, sister, nephew, and niece are coming today.  She is so excited.  I am too.

I am so happy here.  The praise goes to God!

Cheryl seems upset that I’m not coming home for fall break.  I’m not sure why.

Jeni and I are getting so close.  I can really trust her with things.

I remember this summer when Jonathan and I went to Deep Creek.  I feel like crying.  I can’t have everything at once.  All of my joys are spread throughout my entire life.  And the new joy of Jeni’s family will begin today.  And then my family and friends come tomorrow.  I might see Jonathan in a week, and then Ohio.

I’m on this great adventure that will take me so many places.  It will also take me to my only destination.  We will all gather at the crystal throne.  And Veronica, Jonathan, Kevin, Marcus, Charlie, Jenna, Tenielle, Amy, Ryan, Christi, Cheryl, Scott, Tracey, Kristi, Glenda, and Jeni will be there with me.

August 25, 1994 – Thursday – 12:20 a.m.

Today is still Wednesday to me, so I will refer to it as such.

I took mom to work this morning so I could have the car and run some errands.  I first went to my Orthodontist in Sanford.  I don’t have to go back until next May.  Then I came back to Siler City to open a checking account at First Union.  I got everything I needed concerning that.  Afterwards, I went back to Sanford and went shopping at Food Lion and Wal-Mart.  I’ve almost purchased everything I need for college.  I had some time to spare after that, so I went to the park and finished reading the “Marius” part of Les Miserables.  I enjoyed it greatly; more than the first time.

I was suppose to get my hair cut today by Ginger, so around 2:30 p.m. I went to West Lee Middle School and picked up Jenna and Tenielle.  I surprised them!  Jenna wanted to red the bus, so she did, but picked up Wayne and Tenielle, took Wayne home and then Tenielle drove with me to her house.  I had The Little Mermaid with me.  We watched that and I got my hair cut.  It’s really cool, you should see it.  Tenielle was running late, so Jenna rode with me to church.

Louie came by before I left.  He seemed okay.  For a while I thought he was made at me because he really liked Jenna, but we got a long fine today.

I was a little late to church as well, so I didn’t sing.  

Tonight was my last service.

I told Shar tonight that her letter sounded very mature and she did not scare me away.  I gave her my college address and she smiled.

Cheryl told me everyone Joel works with hates him and plans to beat him up.  He deserves it!

Marcus drove himself to church and afterwards we went to The Pantry.  It seemed everyone showed up there.  Scott was with me, then Rebecca and family came, then Cheryl and Anne, as well as Ryan and Amy and they weren’t even coming from church.

Ryan told me she wanted to do one more thing with me before I go off to school, so I’m suppose to call her tomorrow.

Scott and I went by Christi’s afterwards.  She was so beautiful tonight.  I hugged her twice and she smelled so good.  Together we watched Searching for Bobby Fischer.  It was the best!  I gave Jason my address and hugged them all goodbye.  They might go see Andy on Saturday, so I probably won’t see them then.

I took Scott home and then I drove home and almost broke into tears.  I saw all my great friends tonight.  All of them in one night.  It all sort of seemed designed by God, and it felt like old times.  Even Jason was there.

Thank you Lord.

I’m still here!!

And I have three days left!

It hurts.  All of the days from long ago are in the past.  Days of happiness.

But the pain now is part of the happiness then.

I can’t have one without the other.