December 29, 1995 – Friday – 12:32 p.m.

I got a call from Scott yesterday while I was watching Big.  We made plans for today.  He should come over later.  Then I began watching Never Cry Wolf.  It was during that movie that I heard a knock at my door.  I ran to the kitchen and opened it.

There stood Jonathan.  His hair had been cut, he had dyed it back to its natural color, and he had taken out all of his nose and ear rings.  He looked like a normal American.

He had come from his grandmother’s and needed a place to stay until tomorrow.  I said he could stay here.  We spent some time talking.  It was difficult at first since it had been so long, but after a while things were just like old times and we played monopoly with Nate.  I won and it had gotten pretty late, so he made a bed on the floor in front of the fire we had built.

Time passed and Henry got home from work, saw Jonathan and immediately took him into another room.  Two minutes later, Jonathan returned and painfully said, “I’m going to get my things, drive somewhere, and sleep in my car.”

I don’t know the details, but I guess Henry had some differences with Jonathan from this past summer and told him that he wasn’t welcome here.  I then took my Bible and found the verse that said, “I was a stranger and you took me in.”  I read it to Henry and said, “If Jesus wants us to take in strangers, wouldn’t he want us to take in friends?”

He immediately screamed at me, pointed his finger directly in my face and shouted, “DON’T TELL ME HOW TO RUN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!”

So, Jonathan packed his things.  We went outside and put them in his car.  My body was shaking, partly because of the freezing cold, but mainly because I was terrified for my homeless friend.

And then he left, headed towards Raleigh I suppose.  Before he left, he reached out his hand for me to shake.  It was cold and trembling.

And then he was gone.


At least he is not bored.

Scott will be here in a few hours.  We will probably go to Asheboro.

An old friend.  And I’m only 19.


July 23, 1994 – Saturday – 9:30 a.m.

Four days have passed.

Something happened: Wednesday night after coming back from Jenna and Tenielle’s, Kevin hydroplaned near Marcus’s house and knocked over a sign. No damage was done. So, Kevin didn’t say anything, which he should have. We had to push it out, so mud got on my pants. Mom saw it and questioned me. I told her. She tells Henry, Henry comes to me instead of Kevin. Then he goes to Kevin and gets an attitude with him. Kevin simply walks out on him.

This all happened last night and I guess Kevin spent the night at Marcus’s. He called this morning and Mom took him to work.

At Jenna and Tenielle’s Wednesday night, I stayed away from everyone because everyone is upset. Jonathan was with us and Jenna has been flirting with him. That, of course, makes Marcus mad. And she seems to think she has to be loveable so I will still like her when I just want to be her friend. She’s making me feel like I have a problem because I’m pulling myself away.

Jonathan doesn’t like Jenna. She annoys him in a way.

I’m done with that crowd. They think I revolve around them.

Jonathan and I had a good talk. I told him how much I miss the winter, spring, summer, and early fall of 1993. Back then I was with Amy, Cheryl, Ryan and Christi. Everything was solid then. If there were problems, I don’t remember them. They didn’t always have to be lovable and hugging me all the time like Jenna and Tenielle. We were all just friends and we all knew it. At first it was like that with Jenna and Tenielle, but everything is so complicated now.

I got something in the mail from Lees-McRae, saying I don’t have a roommate. I did, but I don’t now. So, I can keep my private room if I pay an extra $245 a semester. That is what I want, so I’m going to try and get a job and pay it. It’s only $2 more a day.

Monday, Jonathan and I are going to Pembroke University. He has an interview and wants me to go with him. This is his last chance to get into a college.

On the piano, I can play “A Heart Full of Love” from Les Miserables. It took me a long time, but practice makes perfect.

Our household is at odds. I told Henry that I worry about nothing because it is a waist of time. He wants me to be overly concerned because he is.

I just want to be free. I don’t care if some little metal thing has a dent in it under the car. But Henry wants me to.

Thirty-five days, and perhaps I’ll be free.