August 10, 1993 – Tuesday – 11:00 p.m.

I got so caught up with my past in the last entry that I didn’t finish with the weekend.

Sleepless in Seattle was great.  I loved it.  You must see that movie.  It gave me hope and patience.  The final note of my canon is out there somewhere and one day I will meet her (if I haven’t already).

I went back to my dad’s work and helped him for a little while then I went for a walk in Colonial Williamsburg.  I had seen it all before.  Nothing was new.

After that, I went back to my other Grandpa’s house and we left at 5:30 in the morning.  We got back in time for church and everyone was surprised to see me.  Ryan and I decided to meet with everyone in the Children’s Church Drama Team at her house to rehearse because we didn’t like doing everything on the spot.  The people on the drama team are myself, Ryan, Christi, Cheryl, and Amy.

I got a letter from Emily today.  She sent me a picture.  She looked beautiful.  An amazing smile.

Jonathan’s birthday party was last night even though his birthday is the day after mine.  We watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  What a stupid movie.

For his birthday I made him a tape of several songs.  Together, they tell the story of his life.  It is very touching and emotional.  I titled it Jonathan: The Musical.  It’s great and he liked it a lot.

I got some more typewriter ribbon and I wrote some more in my novel today.

Something happened this past weekend that really got to me.  My dad was taking me to Grandpa’s when suddenly I said, “Dang, my balls itch!”  So, I scratched them, obviously.

Then, my dad said, “That’s what I miss the most.  I don’t get to hear every little thing you say, no matter how small it is.  I don’t get to hear you say your balls itch and I miss that.”

Boy did I ever laugh so much.  I cracked up and my dad did too.  We joked around and I said, “Well, every time my balls itch I’ll call you up and tell you.”  We laughed together, but he meant what he said.

And it’s true.

My dad doesn’t even know all my friends from church.  He’s never met them.  He doesn’t hear about the simple things that happen at school.  He is lonely with a little job at a golf course.  He is 43-years-old and now he lives with his parents because he can’t afford an apartment.

My dad.  My father.  Nobody can make me laugh like he can.  Some of the best times of my life have been with him.

The Miss Teen USA Pageant came on tonight.  I watched half of it while talking to Brandon.  He’s okay.  He’s been in Arizona for six months or so now.

Anyway, when I first saw Miss Vermont, I immediately knew she would win.  It was just in her eyes.

Sure enough!  She did win!

She was crying and I whispered, “It’s okay, you deserve it.”

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August 8, 1993 – Sunday – 2:38 p.m.

This past weekend taught me something, but I’m not really sure what that is yet.  Hopefully, this entry will help me realize it.

Saturday morning we got up at 4:30 a.m. and left for Virginia.  I slept practically all the way up there.  Just knowing I wasn’t near home felt good and I slept with the greatest peace.

The next thing I know, we are pulling into Grandpa’s driveway.  I got my stuff and went inside.

There was my dad!  My dad!  Not Henry, but MY DAD!

I hugged him.  It was so good to see him.

He had to go into work at noon.  He has a small job at a golf course.  I went with him and helped him drive the golf carts from the garage to the clubhouse and back and wash them.

The people there called me, “Little Brian.”  Brian is my dad’s name, in case you didn’t figure that out.

I had fun and at 2:30 my dad drove me over to the movie theater.  I saw Sleepless in Seattle.  But, before the movie started, I was sitting in the theater listening to the classical music that was playing over the speakers.

And guess what song came on?

Canon in D.

That’s right.  The first note struck me like a sword.  It is still my favorite song.

Remember back in March when I wrote the following back in my first Book of Days:

I went to court this morning.  It was embarrassing.  I was a bit nervous.  I, for the second time, heard my heart beat like a knock on a door.  I felt it beating throughout my whole body, down in my toes.  The first time I remember that happening was back in the days when I liked Ryan.  I was on the railroad tracks and I was listening to “Canon in D.”  I had a Walkman.  I was thinking of Ryan.  I don’t remember that ever happening with Veronica.

Once the song began, Ryan immediately came into my mind.  I saw her face and I wished she was sitting next to me.

It didn’t come true.

Then I thought of another girl.

Christi.

Again I wished, and again it didn’t come true.  Those two girls floated through my mind as the song continued to play.  I thought about the things we shared in the past and the things we joke about now.

I thought I was over Ryan.  Now I don’t know.

But then another girl surprising came back into the picture.

Veronica.

I remembered the night we went to see Aladdin.  I held her hand.  She laid her head on my shoulder.

I miss her.  But I don’t want her back.

I wish I could find someone to be that close to again.

Suddenly my mind was flooded with every girl I had ever liked.  Ryan, Christi, Veronica, Lisa, Anita, Emily, the blonde haired girl in second grade, Andrea… but mainly Ryan and Christi.

Then BANG!  The previews started and the song was cut off.  It didn’t finish.  The Canon wasn’t over.

There was still more to go.

More music.

And then I realized the music was the girls.  Canon in D was cut off at now and there was more music to come.  I just couldn’t hear it.  Not yet anyway.

My Canon isn’t finished yet.

But deep down, I’m hoping the final note is the same as the first note, or even the second note.