June 2, 1999 – Wednesday – 7:50 a.m.

Monday night I wrote a script that just popped into my head.  It came so easy and almost seemed to write itself.  Maybe it should be my big project instead of Eyebrows.  

Tuesday night, or rather early this morning, I talked to Allen and Vince.  They are all back from Guatemala.  They seemed to have a good time.  After speaking with them I couldn’t go to sleep.  I missed them and my home state of North Carolina.  So, I drove down to the Outer Banks and returned just now, enough time to go to work.

Kitty Hawk, Kill Devil Hills, and Nags Head all remind me of the touristy mountain towns of western North Carolina, only it’s the beach instead of the mountain views that attract everyone.  I felt home as I drove through them, though I know I haven’t been there since I was a kid.

I ran around on the moonlit beach all by myself, then drove further down until there was water on both sides of me.  I almost hit a pelican, which was just sitting on the road at two in the morning.  On the way back I had some French toast at a 24-hour grill.  It was a nice five-hour, and much needed, vacation.  It gave me time to pray, to be quiet, and to enjoy my own company.

I love North Carolina so much.

To just be there this enough.

It will always be my home.  It will always be where I am from.

Thank you for this morning God; it brought more rest and peace than a full night of sleep ever could.

May 14, 1994 – Saturday – 5:50 p.m.

Friday night was one of the greatest nights of my life.  It was special for two reasons: the revival service I attended where the Lord showed up and for the people I was with, mainly two beautiful flowers.

Thursday I called Jenna and Tenielle.  Jenna was so happy and excited. It was her mom’s birthday and they just got finished throwing her a surprise party.  We had a nice talk and I asked the two of them if they wanted to go with me to Marcus’s spring concert at my school on Sunday.  They said yes.

Wednesday night when I talked to Cheryl on the phone she told me that Shurby didn’t want the “young one’s” going with the youth group Friday night.  Shurby had to preach in Danville and he wanted us to go with him.  I felt bad when I was talking to Jenna and Tenielle Thursday because I wanted them to come on Friday.  But Cheryl told me not to tell them, so I stayed quiet.  It was kind of weird because Jenna and Cheryl are the same age.  Anyway, I figured if Shurby wanted them to come then he would invite them himself.

I got off work for Friday and Kevin got a ride to church from college.  Our car was a bit messed up, so I couldn’t drive to Sanford, instead the youth group was going to pick me up since I was on the way to Danville.

I was waiting outside on the porch and after a long wait two vans and a car finally drove up.  Shurby told me to get in the van he was in.  I opened the slide door and there I saw my Jenna and my Tenielle.  I couldn’t believe it!  They were here!  They came!

It was about a two hour drive.  A two hour drive with them!  It was wonderful.  I braided Tenielle’s hair, she gave me a massage.  Jenna was so funny that night.  Tenielle accidentally hit me in the mouth and I started bleeding.  Jenna kept touching my face and playing with my hair.


I don’t know, but I love it when she does.

The service was amazing!  A lot of people were healed spiritually; including me.  I don’t have to live in this world even though I am here.  

We stopped by McDonald’s and I got a chicken sandwich meal.  When we got back in the van, Jenna sat by me.  We were laughing about something and then Jenna just took hold of my face and squeezed her lips tightly against my cheek.  

She kissed me!  

At first I didn’t realize that she did it.  I was still laughing.  Then it hit me.  I don’t know why she did it, but, again, I’m glad she did.

Eventually we all tried to go to sleep.  I was sitting sideways in the seat and then Tenielle leaned her body on my back.  She put her right hand on my shoulder and together we both fell gently asleep.  Our hearts beating so close to each other.  

Our entire lives right there were pressed together for the peaceful expanse of an hour.

For that hour, the whole world was right.  And it was as though the whole world paused to take notice.  As though all of time, before and afterward, was for me to experience that one hour of perfect peace.

I know that if there is one constant in life, it is change.  But throughout my collection of eyes and smiles that builds and grows as I pass through time, those two flowers will never be replaced.  My heart will hold a special place for them and these eight months we will have spent together.

I will never let anything replace them.


I arrived home.  Tenielle gave me a hug and I went into my so called home and went to bed.  

When I awoke this morning, I discovered along with the rest of my family, that Nate had the chicken pox.  After I took a shower, Henry and I went to get the car out of the shop.  I drove it to McDonald’s to pick up my check, then, on my way home, the car cut off on me and I couldn’t get it started.  A mechanic stopped and helped me get it back to the shop where it still remains.

In the morning, Henry has some detective thing he has to do, so he’s not going to church.  Mom will have to stay home with Nate and I’m not insured on the other car.

In other words, I have no way to church!

I called Mike, but I can’t go with them.  I called Jonathan, but no one was home.

How am I going to get Jenna and Tenielle to bring them back for Marcus’s concert?

God, I beg of you, please provide a way.  Please.

March 28, 1994 – Monday – 7:45 p.m.

It rained all day, but it was a great day nonetheless.

I’m listening to Petra right now!

There are 44 days of school left.  That’s not a lot at all.  April is almost here.  The Lord is preparing me for college.  I’ve been here too long.  I’ve grown too comfortable.  

Church is changing.  I’m not sure if I told you that or not.  It all starts April 10th.  Church will start at 10:30 a.m. on Sundays and there will be no more Sunday School.  Children’s Church is now called Faith Street and it starts at 10:30 a.m. as well.  I think I’ll help with Faith Street every other Sunday, doing puppets and skits and stuff.

Youth Group will start at 5:00 p.m. on Saturdays and it will be more of a fellowship gathering and less preaching.  All of this is supposed to help the church grow.  I like it.

It’s funny how the church is growing and changing right when I’m getting ready to leave.  I told my mom that last night.  Her reply shocked me.  She said, “Well Jacob, you had to be there to keep certain things together during the bad times.”

It made me think.

What would this church be like if I hadn’t been going there for the past six years?  Did I affect it that much?

I’ll probably never know.  And I don’t need to know.  The Lord will take care of me.  I came to this church right after the church got a youth pastor after not having one for a year.  I’ve been here from the beginning.  So had Christi’s family, but they are gone now.

I’m going to bed early tonight.  I have two tests tomorrow, but I’ll study for them tomorrow.  Right now I’m going to sleep in the wonderful peace of Jesus.