February 13, 1997 – Thursday – 8:45 a.m.

The show opened last night.  It was a good show.  I went out into the audience afterward and a little boy came up to me.  His hands were in front of him, moving rapidly.  I realized that he was deaf and he was asking me my name.

I spelled my name out with my hands, and then I asked him his.

C-A-R-L, he spelled back.

He was really deaf.  And he was talking to me.  He was beautiful.  He instantly became so happy because the star of the show was talking to him.  Then the other deaf children saw us talking and they all came up to me.  I signed my name for them too and then signed, “Thank you for coming.”

Then one boy came up to me and spelled his name out.  It was long and he signed it very fast.  Then he touched his chest rapidly, “That’s me!” he said.  And he was so happy because I knew his name, but he did it too fast.  I didn’t get it.  And that hurt me.

All of these little kids had never heard music before.  They were real.  They weren’t actors.

They were really deaf, and they wanted to talk to me, but I just memorized my lines and a bit of the basics of sign language.  I couldn’t keep up with them.

I went into my dressing room, looked in the mirror, and cried.


November 3, 1996 – Sunday – 9:45 p.m.


Yesterday after lunch I watched Immortal Beloved by myself.  Insanely good movie. Curtis and I talked.  He’s discovered a new girl, someone from Boone.  At dinner, Ann-Marie, Tracey, Jeni, and Jessica decided they were going to see Romeo + Juliet that night.  I was on duty so I couldn’t go.  However they then decided it was too cold to go out, so they just came over here and we all watched While You Were Sleeping instead.  Jessica and I sat next to each other on the bed.  She laughed so many times.  She is simply adorable.

Jeni, Tracey, Ann-Marie, and Jessica stayed in my room until one in the morning.  We watched The Little Mermaid as well.

This morning I went to Sunday School at Heaton.  Dawn came along with Derek.  I left afterwards to go to Banner Elk Christian Fellowship.  I went with Jeni, Ann-Marie, Jessica, and Todd.  I sat next to Jessi and the service was amazing.  It seemed to touch her; I could hear and feel her tears.

I found out later in the day that Dawn rededicated her life to the Lord this morning.  This is the same Dawn that I met at The Farm House.

This evening I auditioned for Children of A Lesser God.  We have callbacks tomorrow evening.  Everyone tells me that I’ll get the lead role of James.  The role requires learning sign language.  It’s very challenging.  God help me.

A smile is on my face.

I have beautiful friends.

And a beautiful God.

I am content.

I am pleased.

God has handed me a beautiful life and I hand it all back to him.

April 26, 1994 – Tuesday – 7:00 a.m.

It is in the morning.  I missed the bus, but mom will take me to school.

Jonathan is picking Marcus and I up after school and we are going to the Carman concert.  I don’t know if any of the other young people from church are going.  It will be fun.  The last time I went to a Carman concert was in September of 1992 with Jason, Anne, Christi, Ryan, Amy, Cheryl and Jonathan.

Jonathan flirted.  What else is new?

I liked Ryan then.  That was long ago.  Brandon was even there, but we went earlier because his mom was signing the concert (you know, sign language).  It was a lot of fun.

Two months ago I saw DC Talk in concert.  In four days I will see Petra and Cindy Morgan.

Thank you Lord.

Oh, Sunday night I told Jenna and Tenielle a joke.  And the three of us all laughed together.  Perhaps we will laugh together again.

I checked and Lees-McRae College is 170 miles from where I live.  Kevin’s college is 54 miles from here.  He comes home every weekend.  It’s kind of like he never even left.  I won’t have the same story.  I doubt I’ll hardly ever come home.