August 31, 1994 – Wednesday – 11:35 a.m.

Classes have begun.  I’ve already been to four.  I did my audition for acting class.  I did okay, but others did much better.  I’ll probably be in the beginning acting class.  Which doesn’t bother me, I’m sort of new to this.

There is a guy named James who is on the floor below me; we get along pretty well.

Last night, Charlie wasn’t able to get Schindler’s List.  I was really sick again and I threw up twice.  I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.

I called home last night and called Tenielle.  Jenna was asleep.  They might come up soon.

It will take time for me to get used to all of this, but ever since I got here, none of this has stopped.  It’s like I always have to be somewhere.

July 18, 1994 – Monday – 11:10 p.m.

What a night!!

Well, Jonathan came over around noon; we all played poker. Kristen picked me up at 3:30 p.m. and she said she heard there were parts of Forrest Gump that weren’t very clean. So all of the younger kids went to see Angels in the Outfield while us older kids (Kristen, Dana, Bradley, Glenn, Lisa, Kenny and I) went to see Forrest Gump.

Well, as I mentioned this morning in my previous entry, I’ve been a little sick and it all caught up with me during the movie. The movie, well, I’m not sure how good it was because about half way through it, I started throwing up. Kristen let me use her popcorn bag…and I puked more than I have every puked in my life.

It hurt so much.

We were sitting on the front row. I was bent over. The place was packed and people around me started moving to a few empty seats on the side of the theater. Kristen was the only one who stayed with me. My stomach was straining. It was like someone was stabbing me. The pain and hurt was so real.

Near the end of the movie I started feeling a little better. When the credits started rolling Kristen helped me stand up to walk me to the bathroom. I felt bad leaving my bag of puke there, so I picked it up to take it to the trash. When I did, since it had been sitting there for an hour soaking in vomit, the bottom of it fell out. Puke just splattered all over the front of the theater, right as everyone was standing to leave and right as the lights were coming on. The smell filled the room and everyone groaned.
Normally I would have been embarrassed like none other, but I didn’t care. I needed a bathroom. Kristen led me to one. I could hardly walk; she actually walked into the men’s bathroom and told people to get out of the way. I finally got my body on a toilet, and well, after Kenny came in and said a prayer for me, I began feeling a lot better.

I can’t remember ever feeling so good after hurting so much. Glenn was funny, he asked me if I wanted to go out for some guacamole.
Kristen brought me home. Along the way, she told me she’s never going to have kids, but I think she would make a great mother. She took such good care of me.

After I got home I tried calling Jenna and Tenielle, but they were asleep. Ginger told me to take care of myself.

And well, it all made me think. Do you think after all the pain and hurt of saying goodbye to this place, that I’ll feel much better?

It might take some time, but I think I will.
Half of my summer is over. Thirty-nine days are left.

I will work and play. I will grow and prosper. I will learn and write. I will love and hurt.
I have 39 days to say goodbye and prepare myself.

It’s been a long time since I started from scratch.