August 30, 1997 – Saturday – 11:16 p.m.

So far this has been a crazy weekend.  First of all, Curtis came to visit, which was great!  They all went to Sharon’s house, but I was on duty.  While on duty I had to take care of an alcohol problem in Avery dorm.  It is a crazy long story, no need to write it here.  I don’t want to remember it.

Allen, to everyone’s surprise, went out on a date with a girl named Alicia from ASU.  He met her a week ago some how.  They evidently had a good time.  He really likes her.

While sitting in my room earlier today, I got a call from Dan, “Jacob, you need to come over here we have a problem.”

I ran over to Dan’s room and I saw Allen with his face in his hands crying.  It turns out he talked with his mother over the phone and found out one of his close buddies from back home in New York died in a motorcycle accident.  Allen was bawling hard and no body was saying anything.  He left and I followed him to his room.  We talked some.  He told me how close he was to this guy.  He told me how he called the mother earlier today and could barely say her name through the tears.

I told him it wasn’t fair.  Everyone has their sad stories, but I don’t have any.  Not that I want them, but I simply can’t share in their pain.

“You’re just lucky,” Allen said.  We talked later in the day, after he got himself together.  We were talking about this world and the trials we must go through.  He said the wisest thing, “We simply don’t belong here.”

And he is right.  Just like Marisa said, this weird place is not our home.  There is more to life than this.

Jeanine also came up to visit.  She got really close to Allen this summer and she was hurt when she found out there was a new girl.  My shoulder was there for her to cry on.

My brother Kevin is also up visiting.  He is in a Putt-Putt tournament nearby.  But no one is here now.  They all went bowling in Boone, even Kevin.

These duty night are something else, but they pay the bills and hopefully this job will look good on a resume.  Most of the campus has gone home for Labor Day weekend, so I just find myself sitting here thinking of Sherlive.

August 29, 1997 – Friday – 9:30 a.m.

We had our Bible study at Canon Cottage last night.  Sherlive came up to my room afterwards and we just sat on my bed and talked for nearly two hours.  I read her a couple of stories that I wrote in Creative Writing a year ago.  She is simple and fun and Sherlive.

Allen and I talked for about an hour yesterday about everyone graduating soon and leaving this place.  It’s gonna be so weird.

Eight months and one week.

I guess I should apply to graduate school at Regent University soon.

This is simply my road to Heaven!

August 27, 1997 – Wednesday – 2:00 p.m.

I finally bought my new Book of Days, but it’s kinda flimsy.  I hope it doesn’t fall apart on me.

Classes started today!

Things are good.  I was duty Monday night and I already wrote up some people for alcohol.  Sherlive and I rode to the parkway last night and did some star gazing.  We had fun.  We acted like kids and played little games, like dodging the car headlight beams.

This morning Vince and I ate breakfast with Amber and Monica, plus two new transfer students named Amanda and Shay.  Vince is amazed at me for some reason.  He calls me at the J-Dog because of how easily I get along with so many different beautiful girls.

He and Laura are having problems again.

I got a letter from Jeanine today.  She told me that she misses us all and she believes she is in love with Allen.  I think I’ll call her tonight.

Jessica is back.  She is overwhelmed with school work and her new RA job.  It’s great to have her back!

I’m excited about this new year, about the new Christians, and the new soon-to-be Christians.

I give my senior year to you God!

August 24, 1997 – Sunday – 7:30 p.m.

I haven’t bought my new Book of Days yet.  I’ll copy whatever I write here into it later on.  It’s Sunday, August 24th and the new students have arrived.  Sherlive is here, but I often forget that she is.  Amber and Monica are here, even Abigail.  RA training is over.

Last night, Sherlive and I went to Paul and Sharon’s.  They hosted a college cookout for both LMC and ASU students.  Josh is back and he was there, as well as Mason, Timothy, Allen, Kate, etc.  I had fun.  Josh has gained weight from his surgery and he is always tired.  He takes naps twice a day.  It’s like he’s going through puberty for the first time.

A lot has been on my mind.  I’ll try to explain and write it down in great detail after I buy the actual notebook.  I went to Linville Caverns today with some new freshmen.  It was really fun, but I feel kind of beyond them now.  Weird huh?

So another year.  New girls, but I don’t really care.  I live for Jesus and I will do my best to show him to everyone I come across.  Marisa and I write a lot through both email and snail mail.  She gives me so much encouragement.  She calls me her future husband.  I pray she keeps it up.  Perhaps she’ll speak it into existence someday.

August 20, 1997 – Wednesday – 6:05 p.m.

I talked to Sherlive over the phone last night.  Her emotions are flowing because the storm that took me three years ago is now blowing in her hair.  We talked for two and a half hours.  She told me of some bad stages in her life.  I won’t go into detail right now.  God has forgotten and so I can too.  I’m not sure what she is to me.  Perhaps simply another red light.  Another Emily who will let me into her big world, unaware of how entranced I am by it.  Sherlive has some growing to do.  I want to grow with her.  She has stressed to me that long distance relationships don’t work and she knows my time here at Lees-McRae is short.

Another chapter.

Another story.

Lees-McRae…look what you did to me.

August 13, 1997 – Wednesday – 7:55 a.m.

Last night after I videotaped the forum, I came to my room and sat in its emptiness.

The dorm is empty again.  Just like it was in the beginning.

Sherlive came to mind.  I called her at 9:30 p.m. last night and said goodbye at 11:15 p.m.

A wonderful and beautiful conversation.  We talked so deeply of God, each other, ourselves, and us.  We complemented each other.  We talked about how it is amazing that we were complete strangers but nonetheless poured our hearts out to each other and accepted each other blindly.

Her soul is full of deep waters where I would love to drown.  Thank you for her God.  She just came out of nowhere.

August 10, 1997 – Sunday – 4:05 p.m.

Marisa turns 15 today.  I turn 21 in a week.

Dan has gone home.  The place feels empty.  This next week I will move to McAlister; I’ll have a smaller apartment with one less room than this one.

It just started to rain.

For the next hour and a half, I’ll exist quietly in these three rooms.  I will listen to slow and soothing music, and I will read and write.  At 5:30 p.m. I will go back to the box office to sell tickets and I’ll enjoy the show again tonight.

Jeanine will sleep in here tonight since her mom is visiting and will take her bed.

RD training begins on Monday and I will also check everyone out of Tennessee Dorm between Monday and Wednesday.

Children of Eden ends tomorrow.  Lindy and I began with three full ticket racks and now we are nearly empty.  Everyone has loved this show.

My final year of college is so close.  How different it will be.  My rounds will now include seven buildings instead of just two hallways.  I will tackle directing and horseback riding.

So my simple and relaxing summer will soon end and I will never live in these walls again.  What have these walls seen?  Jeni and I kissing.  Dan and I wondering.  Charlie crying over Kate.  And me watching Sherlive as she slept.

The summer of 1997.

Nothing ever stays the same.

Charlie and I went to see Conspiracy Theory last night.  I enjoyed it.  I helped Charlie in Junior Worship this morning and ate with Tracey and her family plus Lindy and Ann-Marie at the Banner Elk Cafe.

It’s difficult for me to remember who I was before Lees-McRae.  I almost feel like my senior year will be the last year of my life.  Leaving this place seems close to death.

But surely there are no real goodbyes among Christians.

It’s 4:45 p.m.

Am I still living in my youth?  Or are those days gone?

4:47 p.m.

And so…well…

Weird, huh?

 

August 9, 1997 – Saturday – 9:30 a.m.

Children of Eden opened Thursday night.  It was so amazing!  Sherlive was able to see it with me last night.  She even dressed up.  Wow!  She is simply beautiful.  I had so much fun being around her and laughing with her.

She says she is looking forward to coming to school.  I pray we slowly become best friends.  She has such a baby face.  Her cheeks rise up so beautifully when she smiles.  I want to make her smile.  I’ve done it a few times already.

And each time was an eternal instant.

August 7, 1997 – Thursday – 8:30 a.m.

Good morning.

Charlie, Dan, and Allen made large cross that stands on a rock down Elk River.  We went there Tuesday night, sang praises, and prayed to God.

I talked to Allen about the Jeanine thing.  He has tried to bury every sexual desire he’s ever had.  He won’t even look at girls.  He should just let go, and praise God that he is a sexual being with a healthy sex drive.  It’s how God made us.  Instead these buried desires erupt in unhealthy ways.  He admits that he just gets stupid when he is around her.

It got my haircut yesterday morning.  I like it.  I went to a new place in Newland and they gave me a head massage as well.  It was awesome.

Church was fun last night, but I got a little sick during worship.  Sherlive showed up a little late, it was so good to see her.  We talked after church.  I got a smiley face pencil while at Chrysalis and she often wears a smiley face necklace.  I gave her the pencil and she had the coolest smile on her face.  She really seemed to like it.  She said it was spiffy.  We played the piano together and talked some about music.  I asked her if she would like to see Children of Eden with me on Friday.  Hopefully she can.  She has to talk to her parents about it.  I told her I would call her on Friday.  We said our goodbyes and she hoped to got to feeling better.

I did.

Then that night, Dan and I put on some Jewel and talked deeply about life and God.  How long was God there before he created us?  Who made God?  Why is all of this what it is?

We talked of everything…of forbidden fruit, fallen angels, the Ten Commandments, a son who died for our sins, Saul turning to Paul, my love for stories, and how God is an amazing story teller, who includes all of us in the perfect plot of redemption and salvation.

It’s so great having Dan stay with me this month.  He’s the truest of friends.

 

August 5, 1997 – Tuesday – 12:28 p.m.

I’m back in Banner Elk.  Rachel and I had fun on the drive down yesterday.  I discovered some interesting news when I got here.  Jeanine and Allen kissed each other down by Elk River.  And I thought Allen vowed to never kiss another girl until after he married her.  I thought it was funny, but also sad.  She leaves in a week.  Linda and I talked a lot last night about Chrysalis.  But I miss Sherlive.  I hope to see her real soon.

Children of Eden, the final summer theater show, beings on Thursday.  So, summer theater ends a week from today.  RD training begins this weekend.  The RAs arrive on Sunday the 17th, my birthday.  So, I will officially declare August 17th as the last day of the summer of 1997.

That’s 12 days away.  Graduation is in nine months.  Nine months until the second storm. But I made good friends out of complete strangers over the past three days, so I’m not worried about moving away.  There are good people everywhere you go.

Constant change.

Increase range.

Differences increase.

But there’s aways peace.