Last night after I videotaped the forum, I came to my room and sat in its emptiness.
The dorm is empty again. Just like it was in the beginning.
Sherlive came to mind. I called her at 9:30 p.m. last night and said goodbye at 11:15 p.m.
A wonderful and beautiful conversation. We talked so deeply of God, each other, ourselves, and us. We complemented each other. We talked about how it is amazing that we were complete strangers but nonetheless poured our hearts out to each other and accepted each other blindly.
Her soul is full of deep waters where I would love to drown. Thank you for her God. She just came out of nowhere.
Marisa turns 15 today. I turn 21 in a week.
Dan has gone home. The place feels empty. This next week I will move to McAlister; I’ll have a smaller apartment with one less room than this one.
It just started to rain.
For the next hour and a half, I’ll exist quietly in these three rooms. I will listen to slow and soothing music, and I will read and write. At 5:30 p.m. I will go back to the box office to sell tickets and I’ll enjoy the show again tonight.
Jeanine will sleep in here tonight since her mom is visiting and will take her bed.
RD training begins on Monday and I will also check everyone out of Tennessee Dorm between Monday and Wednesday.
Children of Eden ends tomorrow. Lindy and I began with three full ticket racks and now we are nearly empty. Everyone has loved this show.
My final year of college is so close. How different it will be. My rounds will now include seven buildings instead of just two hallways. I will tackle directing and horseback riding.
So my simple and relaxing summer will soon end and I will never live in these walls again. What have these walls seen? Jeni and I kissing. Dan and I wondering. Charlie crying over Kate. And me watching Sherlive as she slept.
The summer of 1997.
Nothing ever stays the same.
Charlie and I went to see Conspiracy Theory last night. I enjoyed it. I helped Charlie in Junior Worship this morning and ate with Tracey and her family plus Lindy and Ann-Marie at the Banner Elk Cafe.
It’s difficult for me to remember who I was before Lees-McRae. I almost feel like my senior year will be the last year of my life. Leaving this place seems close to death.
But surely there are no real goodbyes among Christians.
It’s 4:45 p.m.
Am I still living in my youth? Or are those days gone?
Children of Eden opened Thursday night. It was so amazing! Sherlive was able to see it with me last night. She even dressed up. Wow! She is simply beautiful. I had so much fun being around her and laughing with her.
She says she is looking forward to coming to school. I pray we slowly become best friends. She has such a baby face. Her cheeks rise up so beautifully when she smiles. I want to make her smile. I’ve done it a few times already.
And each time was an eternal instant.
Charlie, Dan, and Allen made large cross that stands on a rock down Elk River. We went there Tuesday night, sang praises, and prayed to God.
I talked to Allen about the Jeanine thing. He has tried to bury every sexual desire he’s ever had. He won’t even look at girls. He should just let go, and praise God that he is a sexual being with a healthy sex drive. It’s how God made us. Instead these buried desires erupt in unhealthy ways. He admits that he just gets stupid when he is around her.
It got my haircut yesterday morning. I like it. I went to a new place in Newland and they gave me a head massage as well. It was awesome.
Church was fun last night, but I got a little sick during worship. Sherlive showed up a little late, it was so good to see her. We talked after church. I got a smiley face pencil while at Chrysalis and she often wears a smiley face necklace. I gave her the pencil and she had the coolest smile on her face. She really seemed to like it. She said it was spiffy. We played the piano together and talked some about music. I asked her if she would like to see Children of Eden with me on Friday. Hopefully she can. She has to talk to her parents about it. I told her I would call her on Friday. We said our goodbyes and she hoped to got to feeling better.
Then that night, Dan and I put on some Jewel and talked deeply about life and God. How long was God there before he created us? Who made God? Why is all of this what it is?
We talked of everything…of forbidden fruit, fallen angels, the Ten Commandments, a son who died for our sins, Saul turning to Paul, my love for stories, and how God is an amazing story teller, who includes all of us in the perfect plot of redemption and salvation.
It’s so great having Dan stay with me this month. He’s the truest of friends.
I’m back in Banner Elk. Rachel and I had fun on the drive down yesterday. I discovered some interesting news when I got here. Jeanine and Allen kissed each other down by Elk River. And I thought Allen vowed to never kiss another girl until after he married her. I thought it was funny, but also sad. She leaves in a week. Linda and I talked a lot last night about Chrysalis. But I miss Sherlive. I hope to see her real soon.
Children of Eden, the final summer theater show, beings on Thursday. So, summer theater ends a week from today. RD training begins this weekend. The RAs arrive on Sunday the 17th, my birthday. So, I will officially declare August 17th as the last day of the summer of 1997.
That’s 12 days away. Graduation is in nine months. Nine months until the second storm. But I made good friends out of complete strangers over the past three days, so I’m not worried about moving away. There are good people everywhere you go.
But there’s aways peace.
The month of change has begun on the right foot. I am in Maryland at Chrysalis. Rachel is here. I have a roommate named P.C.; we talked forever last night. The drive up here was fun, Rachel had a friend of hers drive me up most of the way. The Virginia Blue Ridge mountains were so beautiful.
On Wednesday night Sherlive came to church and afterwards we went to see Air Force One. We had a good time. I hope I can see her again soon. I told P.C. about her.
But the most amazing thing was that today each caterpillar (that’s what they call us here at Chrysalis) received a bag full of letters. They were letters from people I didn’t know, they were just general supporters of Chrysalis, but there were also letters from even dear people I do know. I have a letter from Rachel, Ellen, Tracey, Lindy, Paul, my mom and dad, Nate, Sharon, Jeni, and Marisa.
Love is all around me. People are so nice here. I only pray that I can be as nice.
Jeni said in her letter that if my movies and stories in anyway reflect what is in my heart, then I would be in my success. God loves me so much. I just praise and love and thank him. The weekend is so amazing so far, but it’s just getting started. Words cannot express how happy I feel. Is this what heaven will be like?
Last night after I wrote in my journal, almost everyone from Tennessee Dorm, plus Charlie and Allen, went to Macado’s. Charlie, Allen, Jeanine and I sat at a table together and had some good laughs.
I leave for Chrysalis in the morning. I have no idea what this thing is, but I guess I will by Monday. I’ve heard of people going on these retreats and Rachel always talks about it, so I guess I just have to see for myself.
I want to grow close to Sherlive. She has totally captured my thoughts. How crazy that a girl can just show up out of the blue. I want God to be the center of our relationship. I want us to bring people to the Lord together. The world needs Jesus and I like the Jesus that I’ve met in her as well as the Jesus that is in me.