February 3, 1997 – Monday – 1:30 p.m.

The weather is warm.  I went rock hoping this morning, but I fell in the creek thanks to some slippery rocks.  I bruised up my left arm, but I had an exciting time jumping from boulder to boulder.

Yesterday was warm as well.  After church Josh, Tracey, and I did our homework outside.  Most Banner Elk February days are bitterly cold.

I’m trying to make plans for Spring Break, which occurs in about a month.  Charlie and I are looking into a cruise, but we don’t know any details yet.

If I don’t get the Crosspoint job then I can either be a counselor at Holston Camp (where Vince and Ellen worked) or I can do Summer Theater again.  I’m just waiting on the Lord.

Children of a Lesser God is coming along nicely.  Rehearsal was really cool last night.  I’m getting excited.  I can’t wait for there to be an audience.

Oscar nominations come out pretty soon.

School work has become fairly easy, even though I thought it would be a tough semester.  I’m looking forward to my directing class in the fall.

Dan got two second place trophies in the ski race in Virginia this weekend.

It’s been three years, three months, and three weeks since I first set foot upon the campus of Lees-McRae College.

That was on October 11, 1993.

It is now February 7, 1997.

They say there are only four seasons in a year and then it starts over.  But that is not true.  No season is ever the same.  New and different people arrive.  Every season is different.  In fact, we are seasons in ourselves.  We grow in the springtime of our life, fall in love during the summer, we learn and produce fruit in the autumn, and fade away in the winter.

Oh God…how much longer?

January 20, 1997 – Monday – 10:30 a.m.

My hands are a bit frozen.

There are no classes today due to the MLK holiday, so I went for a walk in God’s frozen creation.  I walked to Wildcat Lake and discovered the whole thing had frozen over.  It was so beautiful.

This land has so many colors and so many seasons.

And I am one of them.

Soon I too will melt away.

March 17, 1994 – Thursday – 10:50 p.m.

Considering I only got three hours of sleep last night, I’m really tired.

So, let me continue with last night.  Jenna was at church.  Tenielle wasn’t.  Jonathan was there and he flirted with Jenna.  It didn’t really bother me, because well, it’s hard to explain.

Something has happened between the two of us.  We’re still good friends, we still joke around.  We still throw each other these looks and lines, but in those looks there is a distance.  A distance greater than there was before.

Why?

I don’t know.

I suppose it is because we both know how we used to feel and how we feel now.

Tonight we had skit practice because we will perform at the youth explosion Saturday.  The whole youth group showed up since we needed everyone.  Jenna and Tenielle were there.  And tonight Jenna looked at me in one of the ways that she does, and she asked me a question, “Jacob, am I your friend?”  I nodded and said, “Yes, you are.”  She nodded and smiled back.

And in that we both knew that what used to be had changed and we are only good friends.  Which is more than I could have asked for.  There is a distance in our eyes now.  So, we are not meant to be.

Pastor Steve handed the skits over to me again.  We did the Mask Skit and the Abortion Skit.  Those are the ones we’re going to do on Saturday.  It was fun directing.  Jonathan kept calling me Jacob Spielberg.

Afterwards, Kevin, Scott, Jonathan and I went to Taco Bell and did crazy things.  Marcus had a track meet.  We had a blast.  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much in one day.

It is the middle of March now.

Spring is here.

Winter is over.

In the winter of ’92-’93 I went through some complex times with Veronica.  Then spring came and so did Ryan.  My infatuation with her lasted through the spring and the summer and into the fall.  Throughout those seasons, Christi popped up every now and then.

She still does.

Then things changed.

Something happened.

The people who made my life so great went away.  Jason, Anne, Christi, Ryan, and so on.  They weren’t around as much.

The cold winter came and I was without them.  The winter.

But in that winter, I found two roses who kept my heart warm.

All the other flowers had faded.

My grasp on those two roses has loosened, but they’re encouragement is still greatly appreciated.

All they have to do is smile.

But now in the spring of 1994, there is no special flower to which a great portion of my attention goes.  They say flowers grow in the spring.  We will have to see.

In a way, I wish a new flower would grow.  One which I’ve never seen or known before.  But…we all know those kind only grow in the summer.