December 15, 1999 – Wednesday – 9:31 p.m.

Clown of God has been over for a few days now, and total strangers are still complimenting me about it.  Classes are also over, which means I won’t have another course with Marie.  She grows in beauty and we grow in our special friendship.

I have a little Christmas tree up, so I’m doing my best to get in the spirit of Christmas.

Two of my scripts made it through the next stage of judging; one more stage to go.  I also was cast in two theater productions in the spring: Davis in In the Flesh and Luke in Pilate.  They both open in March.

Vince had to go home to get a root canal.  His car broke down, so he had to take a bus home.  He and Marie and I saw LaRue and Russ Taff in concert.

And, well, it seems as though life can’t be captured in these pages anymore.  I feel my journaling must change shape because I feel I don’t know its purpose, its style, or its reason.

Perhaps I feel that my emotions are stable and I no longer need to vomit them out onto a page in order to sort through my sense of self.  Or perhaps I just no longer have the time. Or perhaps I feel whoever eventually reads this will not care.  I wonder if I write so much of how I am out in screenplays that I no longer have anything left to say in these pages.  Maybe I just want to give all of me to Marie and not to these Books of Days.

Whatever the reason, I will continue to write.  Even if it all turns into abstraction, I will write.  For I must not second guess that the me I give to these pages is a gift to myself.  Whatever fleeting thought I jot down is all these pages are ever supposed to know.

 

October 8, 1998 – Thursday – 2:02 p.m.

I went to court on Monday, so my speeding ticket is all taken care of.  There were some other Regent students there, so there is definitely a speed trap right next to campus.

Tuesday night, Anna and I wen to Barnes and Noble to study.  I’ve never been in one before.  I felt like some sort of preppie hippie walking into that place.

Last night’s drama meeting went well.  The Christmas show is going to be the same time as final exams.  Lord help me.

I pitched a script idea titled “Eyebrows” this past Friday.  Over thirty scripts were pitched, and four were selected to see a full draft.  From those four only two would be selected to be given a budget and turned into a 25-minute film to be shot in July and August of 1999.

I was one of the four semifinalists!  Pretty cool!

Emily and I had a great talk on Tuesday night.  We laughed the whole night.  Mom, Henry, and Nate are staying down there during Christmas.  I’m going to fly down and see both Emily and my family.  This will be our third meeting.

God is good.