September 23, 1995 – Saturday – 4:57 p.m.

After our Antigone rehearsal, I went to watch the dancers and cloggers perform.  Then I went to lunch.  I sat with Dan, Vince, and Kris, but then I moved to sit with Stacey and Lisa sat down to join us.  Lisa asked me when I had rehearsal and I told her that we had already had it.  So, then she asked me what I was doing this afternoon.  I told her nothing.  She asked me if I wanted to go to Boone with her.  I said, “Sure!”

So we went.

Lisa has just recently broken up with her boyfriend.  They were together most of last year.  She admitted to feeling depressed.  While in Boone we felt the desire to be spontaneous, so we decided to visit Mystery Hill.  It’s a little museum/tourist trap thing on the way to Blowing Rock.  Lisa was excited and starting bouncing up and down at the idea.

It was actually really interesting.  I took some pictures of us standing up straight, but appearing as though we were leaning sideways in this house.

Afterwards, we went to K-Mart and the mall.  We had fun.  We sang together while driving around.  She is so adorable.  She is only 4’11” and I’m 6’2″.  She has invited me to her house for fall break.  I might go.  I’m not sure.

She thanked me for coming with her and said she really enjoyed herself.

Thank you Lord.

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August 29, 1995 – Tuesday – 11:15 p.m.

Another day!

I’ve been having some trouble with James.  Syndi and I both have.  But it is all over with now, so I’m not going to bore myself with the details.  In short, he is acting very selfish and immature about Syndi and myself, plus a few other things.

We have no classes this Monday, thanks to Labor Day.  Syndi mentioned wanting to go to the zoo.  Since we have a long weekend she and I plan to go to my house this weekend and then go to the zoo on Saturday.  My parents are going to be away, visiting Deep Creek with my grandparents, so it looks like it’ll just be Syndi and myself.  And truthfully, I hope so.

Tonight I had a rehearsal for Antigone.  Originally, I was the Sentry, but tonight Dr. D. also gave me the role of the Messenger.  So, my role in Antigone has doubled!  That pleased me!  And today I called Regent University in Virginia Beach.  They are going to send me some information.  I talked to a woman named Elinor.  So many doors have opened.

God is simply great!  I’m only a sophomore, yet I feel like I know where the Lord is leading me after graduation.

Thank you for everything Father!

April 26, 1995 – Wednesday – 9:45 a.m.

Monday was the 24th of April.  During supper that night, Michelle got really sick and cramped.  She was throwing up in the cafeteria.  For some odd reason, I felt really bad.  I guess it had something to do with her asking me to the Spring Formal.  I got my tray, put it in the dish room, and I left.  I found Charlie and we immediately prayed for her.  I called her that night and she is taking some medicine.  She is fine.

That night at 7:30 p.m., Joey finally began rehearsals for his scene that I am in.  I play Tommy and a beautiful girl named Penny plays Jenny, a prostitute.  I’m playing a 21-year-old college student virgin.  The scene is simply us talking.  We leave together and she kisses me on the cheek.  James and Christina are also in it as a waitress and a bum.

Last night I judged a talent show for Elk Park Elementary.  Sally and Amy were also judges.  A lot of participants were from Heaton Christian Church.  Out of the six trophies given, three were given to members of our church.  I got $10 for judging; so that helps out a bit.  Thank you Lord.

I will be going home in two weeks from today, May the 10th.  April will end in four days.

On the 29th of April is Sonburst at Carowinds.  I went to it last year, it was on April 30th then.  Kevin and Marcus and hopefully Jenna and Tenielle are going to be there.  I’m going with FCA.  It would be so wonderful to see Jenna and Tenielle in the midst of a huge crowd and run up and hug them.

Please let me be able to find them Lord.

Time is going so quickly.  But it doesn’t matter…because I am a red light out in space and I can still see everything for its true beauty and meaning.  In a few months I will only be 19-years-old.  I am so young.  I know so little.  I see so little.  I have loved so little.  What is my destiny?  Where am I supposed to go?  Where will this breeze take me?

Brandon tells me he has no friends and no life in Prescott, Arizona.

Kenny is making $20,000 a year in St. Simons Island in Georgia.

Lisa got married this past weekend to someone I’ve never even met.

Will this breeze take me by those old friend again?

So much to see.

So much to learn.

So much to find.

So many to love.

I will only live once.  So why not do it all?

December 10, 1994 – 10:45 a.m.

I haven’t written much in the past two weeks.  Sorry.

Thursday night was the final dress rehearsal for the Christmas show.  I just play the handbells in one segment.  The performance is tonight.

Last night Jeni and I had a great talk.  We just talked about our future together.  She is my best friend.

Brandon called me two nights ago.  We talked for an hour.  He is doing well.  It has been two years since he left for Arizona.  He says he might come back to North Carolina for a visit soon.  He has a steady job and his boss is going to buy him a truck.

I called Kristen earlier this morning.  She is so great.  We talked for 45 minutes.  Her life is good.  I miss her.

I have so much to do these next two weeks.  Then I will be able to take a break and spend some time with my dad and Jeni.  Then the Bible Study group will go on a missions trip to Albany, Georgia. That will be a lot of fun.  I’m going to try to spend more time writing in my journal.  It seems I spend all my free time with Jeni.

Well, time to take a shower…

November 6, 1994 – Sunday – 11:25 p.m.

The weekend is over.  Bummer.  I had a lot of fun this weekend.

Yesterday, Jeni and Tracey and I went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  Craig, Jeni’s old youth pastor, and his wife, Coletta, were there to take their youth group on a fall retreat.  They rented a chalet.  Jeni had directions so after hanging around in Gatlinburg, we drove up to the Chalet.  They were out, so we just waited.  The sun had set and it was dark.  While we were waiting Jeni heard some weird noises, so she walked down the driveway to see what it was.  I just sat on the porch.

Suddenly Jeni was running up the drive way screaming, “Jacob, it’s a bear!  Jacob, it’s a bear!”  She was scared to death.  I went down to see it, but only caught a glimpse of him as he walked off the driveway and into the woods.

Finally, the group came.  I played basketball with the guys and we all ate spaghetti for dinner.  The girls got a kick out of me since I laughed at everything.

I enjoyed myself.

Craig and Coletta are really great and I see them in the way I saw Jason, Christi’s brother, my youth pastor before Shurby.

We left that night and got back around 2:00 in the morning.

Jeni and I ate breakfast together then went to church.  Tracey didn’t go to Sunday School with us, she just went to the worship service.  I love holding Jeni’s hand in church.  She is so delicate.

Mr. Angel was out of town so he asked Jeni and I to lead the Sunday School lunch.  Everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Today I had to run props for a rehearsal of The Dining Room.  It was fun.  I enjoyed myself.

Tonight I was lying next to Jeni in her bed while she was studying.  I fell asleep and then started talking in my sleep.  Jeni and Tracey both laughed their head off.

Brandon called me today.  I wasn’t in, so he left me a message.  He sounds like he is doing okay out in Arizona.  I really hope I can visit him soon.  I’ve never been out west.  It’s been almost two years since he left.

In one week I will be back from visiting home.  I wonder how I will feel.  I feel so honored to take Jeni home with me.  I know everyone will love her.

Who couldn’t?

She loves to serve me.  She likes to get me dessert in the cafeteria and to refill my drink.  She takes care of me.

Thank you for her Lord.  Please keep us together.

October 2, 1994 – Sunday – 1:55 a.m.

Last night (Friday) I spent a lot of time with Jeni.  We watched Quantum Leap and then just talked and made out some.  She trusts me.  She gets so close to me and kisses me so beautifully.

Tonight her and I and Tracey, Glenda, Kim, Rachel, Gayle and a girl named Andy ate pasta and cake while we watched An Affair to Remember and some of Far and Away in Gayle’s room; she is the RD of Virginia Dorm.

We had a huge tech rehearsal for Mattress.  It lasted about five hours.

Charlie’s grandmother is very sick and dying.  He is going to see her tomorrow so I’m going to go to church with Jeni and Tracey.

I love you Jesus.

Thank you.

September 28, 1994 – Wednesday – 11:45 a.m.

Jeni and I went for a walk yesterday at 1:45 p.m.  We talked and held hands.  We kissed a few times.  She smells so great.

She has gone out of town for the day for a dance performance.  I saw her briefly this morning.  She will be back in time for dinner and rehearsal.  I still miss her though.

Mattress opens in a week.

This morning in Acting class I did my scene of “Expresso Bar” with Mary.  Not to brag, but we were the only one’s who did it off book and we did it the best.

Mr. Taylor said he could see the subtext in our faces.

Costuming is tonight at six o’clock for Mattress.

Not much else to tell.  I’m believing God for some money for ballet shoes and a makeup kit.  I need about $55.

Thank you Jesus.

You are my provider.

September 25, 1994 – Sunday – 11:35 p.m.

Okay, about yesterday…

Seeing my brother and Marcus showed me one thing yesterday.  My life is, as before, simply a collection.

A book.

I’m on a journey.

A great adventure.

I will forget none of this adventure.

I will write it down in these books.

…

I enjoyed church this morning.  Jeni is not depressed about her ticket or anything.  She is content.

After church, we did the Sunday School Lunch thing.  There was a guy in the who said, “you never stop learning.”

I spoke up and said, “I heard someone say once that you don’t start learning anything until you’re 40.”

We talked about it and he agreed with me.

I guess I’ll find out it’s meaning in 22 years and as the additional years pass by.

Jeni and I spent a lot of time together today.  We did some homework for Religion together.  She didn’t have to go to rehearsal tonight, but she came anyway, just to watch me.  She is so great!

We kissed each other so many times today.  Our relationship is great.  We’ve been together for about four days.  From the moment I saw her I knew something was there.

Thank you for her Lord.

Please give me a peaceful sleep.

September 15, 1994 – Thursday – 10:20 p.m.

My roommate came back at about 2:00 in the morning.  When I asked what happened, he just said, “detention stuff and court.”

After rehearsals tonight I ran to the Bible Study Group to catch the last 10 minutes.  When I entered the room, I immediately saw the dancer girl I mentioned in my last entry.  I went to sit by her.  They were reading out of the Bible and she leaned towards me so I could read off of hers.  We held hands while we prayed and then talked a little bit afterwards.  We walked up to where the path splits off to our different dorms and I did find out her name.

“Take it easy,” I said.

“See you later,” she said.

“Have a good night,” I said.

“You too,” she said.

And just like that, she was gone.

The weekend is here.  Since she is only a dancer she doesn’t have to come to every rehearsal.  There are no rehearsals until Sunday.  I don’t know when I’m going to see her again.

Goodnight Jeni.

Goodnight Jesus.

September 14, 1994 – Wednesday – 10:30 p.m.

What a wonderful evening!  That girl that I mentioned above, she goes to Heaton Christian Church.  Hopefully I’ll get to know her.

But rehearsal was great tonight.  I didn’t have to stay that long, so I went to FCA for about 30 minutes, but then I went back to the theater to lay out the dance floor.

In Mattress there are a lot of girls who only play Spanish Dancers.  One girl has been looking at me a lot for the past two nights.  Her eyes are just…it’s like they are drawing you in.  She had me.

Tonight as we laid the dance floor, the two of us began talking and then we began talking about Christian music, and then we started singing Christian music together.  It was great!  She has the most beautiful and graceful legs I have ever seen.  A pretty smile, everything.  She acts a little air-headed sometimes, but that actually makes her really fun to be around.  We talked for about 30 minutes and then it was time to go.  We walked up together with another girl, then we split up to go to our different dorms.  She said “bye.”

All of this and I don’t even know her name.