May 31, 1999 – Monday – 9:00 a.m.

It is the last day of May.  I attended my first ever prom Saturday night.  It was a truly wonderful evening.  Christin and I and some of her friends ate out at Lock’s Point and the dance itself was awesome.  I really had fun, despite the fact that some of those teens dancing looked like they were trying to have sex with clothes on while standing up.  That was gross to see.  We went to the after-prom party and didn’t get to her friend Allison’s house until five in the morning.  The dad cooked everyone breakfast.  I don’t think I would have enjoyed my own prom if I went to it five years ago, but I enjoyed this one at the age of 22.

I still went to Sunday school and church, but then slept most of the afternoon.  Kimberly and Christin came over after church last night and I introduced them to Les Miserables.

Classes end in two weeks and then I’ll begin my Master’s Commission journey.

It just occurred to me that since I’ve come to Regent I may not have explained the other people I have come across.  Of course there is David, who is the youth pastor at Parkway Temple.  He’s 27 and a very good friend.  He’s my mentor and he helps keep me balanced.  His brother Chris, who just moved here from South Africa, is 22 and plays guitar.  He’s become a part of the church and we’ve hung out a couple of times.  Last Thursday we went to see Star Wars.

Kerstin is my friend from Germany.  She is my age.  She talks to me about boys in her life.  She feels that I understand her, but also makes it known that she only wants us to be friends, despite the fact that we play this flirting game with each other.

Brian is a couple of years older than me, yet many times I feel as though I am his mentor.  We used to only talk movies, but our conversations have recently moved onto other topics.

Nicole is 25.  She’s from Atlanta and will one day make the perfect Italian mother once she finds the right guy.  She says her body is screaming at her to have a baby now.  Wow! She’s so beautiful, but she feels like a big sister to me.  Her body shape is so similar to Sarah’s that I often just want to hug her, but try to resist the urge.

Then there’s the other Chris, the theater major who just turned 26.  He’s never had a girlfriend and he’s crazy about Kerstin.  He grew up with all sisters, and he says that has made me very careful around women.  He has a mind for missions and has done much work for Teen Mania.

The whole Hampton Roads area here feels like a melting pot since there’s such a military presence.  It feels like a mix of both northern and southern cultures all thrown into one big suburb.  It’s a very clean region thanks to the high state taxes.  Evidently a lot of people work here, but will live just over the North Carolina line, just to avoid the taxes.  Banner Elk was an easily definable mountain village, but Hampton Roads is a small materialistic version of America.

Nevertheless, at the moment, it is home, and memories are being made.  I’m very happy to know I will live here in the time that I will.  It’s teaching me how to love others and to raise my future children.

Goodbye May.  Hello summer of 1999.


May 29, 1999 – Saturday – 2:20 p.m.

I go with Christin to her prom tonight.  I’m excited.  It should be fun.

This weekend Gina and Christy and I worked on our video project for Actor Coaching.  We finished this morning.  Christy’s getting married soon; she’s so awesome!

Friday night’s youth service was amazing as usual.  Kimberly and I had a neat little ministry time where I just held her and touched her face.  She cried in my arms.  There’s also a little girl named Regina that I’ve become pretty good buddies with.

It’s so great to love these people!

April 20, 1999 – Tuesday – 5:30 p.m.

I found out today that the class schedule has changed.  They are only offering Advanced Directing in the fall now.  I could take it in the Spring of 2000, which now means I will not be able to direct a five-minute film, much less a 25-minute film.  But I will still graduate and I’m sure God has a plan.

I began doing some research on the net for internships.  I sent an email into Screen Gems Studios in Wilmington, NC.  It looks like a nice place.  We’ll see.

I ran into Mary Jo yesterday night.  She received an email from an old college guy she really liked and he’s now engaged to another girl.  Mary Jo was full of tears.  I went with her to her apartment, sat close by her, and listened.

She sent me an email today saying thanks for listening.  I wrote her back, telling her she was a complete treasure.

Christin needs a prom date, and she asked me.  I said I would be glad to take her, but I don’t have any money.  So, her parents offered to pay for me, get my tux, pay for dinner and everything.  I couldn’t say no.  I didn’t go to my own prom, but at age 22, I’m going to one now.  It’s about a month away.

There are only two weeks of classes left.  This place is quickly passing me by.

May 22, 1994 – Sunday – 11:09 p.m.

What a day!

Today was the church fellowship at Kiwanis Park.  But I’ll begin with church in the morning.  I sat next to Sara, Jonathan’s Sara, but not Jonathan’s Sara anymore.  He hasn’t said a word to her since Carowinds.  And last night he went to the prom with Vicky.  But all of that means nothing to me.

Tenielle and Jenna rode with me to the park.  Kevin rode with the Neals and Marcus had to ride on the bus with the kids.  A boy named Victor was with Jenna and Tenielle.  He is 9-years-old and their mom babysits him sometimes.

They all brought water guns and I was soaked by the end of the day.  To tell you the truth, so many different things happened at the park that I can’t even remember them all.  But Becca brought a friend named Ashley and she and Kevin spent a lot of time together.  This upset Tenielle.  Ashley is only thirteen.

I believe my brother is beginning to have a serious problem.  College and middle school just shouldn’t mix.  Kevin’s pursuit is crossing the friend line.

Jenna and I spent a lot of time together and we had some nice talks.  The same with Tenielle.

Marcus has interest in Jenna.  He has had interest in her for a very long time.  She spends time with him and every time she calls me she always to know if he is there.  Today she asked if I thought she liked him.  I said, “No,” because it sounded like that was what she wanted to hear.

Truthfully, I don’t know and I don’t really care.  It is not my problem, nor my business.

Kevin, I believe, is on the phone with Marcus now, because Marcus just got off the phone with Jenna and Tenielle after a two-hour conversation.  Kevin and Marcus were discussing the Ashley, Kevin, and Tenielle thing.  Again, it is not my business, nor my problem.

I want nothing to do with Jenna and Tenielle beyond our wonderful friendship.  I told Jenna today that I want no one to like me romantically because it brings too many complications.  I will start over in Banner Elk at Lees-McRae College.  I know that my relationship with Jenna and Tenielle couldn’t possibly get any better than it is right now.  Each time they laugh, each time they smile, each time they reach out and touch my face; that is all I will ever need from them.

Anne is back from college for the summer.  I told Tenielle that I wasn’t sure I could come back for the summer; that it might hurt too much.

The real me is out there somewhere.  The real Jacob, both young and old.

These days are only my youth.  Although they must be of some importance to the rest of my life, they are not everything.

It has been over six months since I saw Les Miserables on the stage.

That is unbelievable.

Perhaps this moment is the perfect moment to write down the poem I wrote for Tenielle’s drawing.  I couldn’t fit the whole poem on her drawing, so she got a much shorter version, but here is the whole thing, which I based on The Lady of Shalott.


I stand here and shiver

The trees around me quiver

I thought I’d stay here forever

But I must move down the river

            Flowing to Lees-McRae

I go up and down the people go

Gazing where the lilies do not grow

To a place down below

            Oh spare me of this day


But in each day there are still delights

Beautiful and amazing magic sights

I survive through the silent nights

Waking to the gorgeous lights

            Not thinking of Lees-McRae

But when the moon was overhead

Grew too young flowers, not yet wed

“Will this happen again?” said

            I on that day


In a way I was straining

Like the yellow woods were waning

However, never was I complaining

Nor the winter sky raining

            Far from Lees-McRae

And at the closing of each day

A smile on my face did lay

And I began to think of far away

            Towards Lees-McRae


Away went the snowy white

Everything still seemed right

But though the Phantom was not in the light

I began to hear the Music of the Night

            Still far from Lees-McRae

Yet, I kept running along

The two flowers still among

The day I sing my last song

            Will be a sad day


Who am I and what is here?

Is the lighted palace near?

I so often hear the cheer

But it’s the crossing which I fear

            Towards Lees-McRae

What God?  Why this face?

Why such beauty in this place?

The two flowers and their grace

            Can it already be May?