I can’t believe this! MY DAD!!! NO!!!!
MY DAD DOES NOT DO STUFF LIKE THAT!
NOT MY DAD!!! This can’t be happening!!!!
Let me calm down and tell you since I probably can’t tell anyone else.
We rented two movies this morning after dad and I went fishing. My Life and The Man Without a Face. I watched them both while dad went to work and my grandparents were at a funeral. I liked both the movies. After I watched them both I went into my dad’s room just looking for something to do. I don’t know why, but I picked up his briefcase next to his bed…
Before I go any into any more detail I guess I should say that there is always something I suspected of my dad; several years ago I was looking for some chess pieces in his closet and I found a game for his computer. It was strip poker. It was in a box under some towels. I was a little startled, but thought nothing of it and tried to forget about it. Ever since then, I thought that maybe my dad was a little, well, for lack of a better word, perverted and that maybe he liked looking at dirty pictures. Over the years I guess I occasionally went through his stuff just to prove myself wrong. I figured if I never found anything like that game again, then he wasn’t perverted, but that he was “clean.”
But today, when I when I glanced inside his briefcase I found dozens and dozens of dirty pictures and papers and magazines and brochures and just junk. JUNK!!! I couldn’t believe it. There were pictures of women sucking men’s you know whats and pictures of chains of people having sex.
I seriously got sick to my stomach. I put it all back and cried my eyes out.
My dad was no longer a wonderful person. “You idiot! What are you doing?!” I cried over and over.
What do I do? Do I say something? I don’t ever want to stay here.
I wanted to run.
I want to keep myself pure.
What do I do? What do I say? I hate this!!
He won’t change unless he has something to lose. Or should I just love him and encourage him to believe that he doesn’t need that stuff.
I want to go home.
I don’t want to see him again.
I want to leave and live in my innocence and bliss. I want to go back to my church and my Jenna and my everyone.
My clean life.
I don’t know what to do. Please God. Please give me the answer.