January 17, 1996 -Wednesday – 11:20 a.m.

It’s Kevin’s birthday.  I pray all is well with him.  He is 21.

The auditions went very well.  I was cast in a one-act called Bear Claw.  I think I play a gay orderly at an old folk’s home.

Derek got the part of Jesus in Godspell.

I delivered my first speech in Speech class today.  It went well.  My Stage Management class met today.  That class is going to be tough.

A girl named Murrell asked me to go skiing with her Thursday evening, but I am on duty.  We played indoor soccer together on Monday.  She’s really cool.

Vince and Melissa are getting along great.  He kissed her at church for the first time Sunday.

Jeff finally got back.  He’s doing well.

All is well.

I’m home and happy.

December 16, 1995 – Saturday – 11:30 p.m.

Our opening night was tonight.

Our last performance is tomorrow night.

The show went really well.  The place was packed and everyone complemented me.

We had rehearsal this morning and then I went with Sharon, Hannah, and Megan to Boone where we went shopping, ate lunch, and saw Toy Story.  I had the greatest time.  Sharon is really nice and she tells me all the time how wonderful a Christian I am and how much I mean to her and other people.  Hannah and Megan were so much fun.  Just two little 10-year-olds without a care in the world.

Afterwards, when I came back here and had dinner with Crystal and Leslie, we went to the show and had a wonderful time performing.  When the show was over, Crystal and Leslie and I played cards up here in Clifton’s room.  They were goofing around and simply being free.  It amazed me.

I mean look at today.

Me, a lanky little boy who grew up in a crossroads called Mt. Vernon Springs, came to this mountain community knowing nothing nor anyone.

And now, in a year and a half’s time, I have found a home.

I feel very comfortable in this house.  I feel so comfortable over at Sharon’s house, and Marty and Stan’s house.

A whole church who backed me up to help me create a marvelous little show.

Before the show started tonight, I recognized about ten people who helped me with this production.  At the end, Pastor Jim said that I mentioned a lot of people but I forgot to mention myself.  So, he did it for me and everyone clapped.

I have come so far.

My mother, stepfather, and Nate come tomorrow.  Kevin cannot make it.  He has an appointment with Pastor Steve about Tenielle, John, and himself.  I talked to him today.

So, about 24 hours from now, I will travel away to a new and different world.  I pray that the Lord use me there to heal some broken hearts.  I can’t wait to see Mike and try to find Jonathan.

A new and old adventure awaits.

December 12, 1995 – Tuesday – 9:00 p.m.

I just got finished with my Make-up exam.  I made vince an old Chinese guy.  It was really fun.  He looked really different.

I am on duty tonight.  I have a hunch that my PA and RA situations are causing a problem.  My duty nights are Tuesday and I have one weekend a month.  But Performing Arts interferes with that, and there are times when I have to put Residence Life to the side.  Charlie told me tonight that they are going to talk to me about it.  I hope I can still do both.

Sharon called me tonight and invited Vince and I over tomorrow.  That will be fun.

My brother and my mom called me up today.  Kevin is home.  They are going to come up Sunday to see the show and take me home.  A week later I will visit Virginia for a day and then stay in Siler City until January 4th.

A very short vacation.  A new semester will begin, perhaps new stories.

I am all alone.

I have a monologue I need to write out phonetically so I will sit here and do that in my perfect solitude.

Praise you Jesus.

Thank you for making me strong.

And thank you for the beautiful snow today.

November 30, 1995 – Thursday – 10:10 a.m.

Last night was a blessing.  We had rehearsal at church and it was really fun.  We are going to meet here at the college on Saturday.  All of the adults respect me.  Laura was there and she smiled at me and said hi.  She really is beautiful.  A type of beauty that doesn’t realize how beautiful she really is.  I don’t think she realizes how a simple smile and spoken word from a girl as beautiful as her can change an entire young man’s week for the better.  In addition to her smile, all of the little kids at church always hang all over me and hug on me.  They adore me.  Thank you Father.

I led FCA last night as well.  We played a fun game.  I then read a passage from John 13 and as the Lord told us to do in that passage, we washed each other’s feet.  I went around and washed everyone’s feet and then I sat down and told them about the time my old youth pastor Jason washed my feet one time.  And how I cried when he did because I didn’t want someone I looked up to so much to be so far down and humble before me.

And half of the group came and washed my feet.  It was special.  Vince made a cross with the water on my feet and said “bless you.”

I came back to my room in tears.

In six months, my time at Lees-McRae will be half over.  Why is such a perfect place floating by me so quickly?

We had a test in my computer class this morning.  I whizzed through it and turned it in about five minutes after I got it.  Mr. Fuller asked me if I was interested in taking any other computer classes since I seemed to be a natural at it, but I told him I was a Performing Arts major.  But if I find the time, I might try to fit some extra classes in.

Mr. Naggier, my lighting teacher, told me yesterday how much he really enjoyed my lighting design for the dance concert earlier this month.  He said it was very daring and bold.

A lot of students always come to me and tell me what they need prayer for in their life.

People trust me.

Thank you Lord for Lees-McRae College.

Thank you for Heaton Christian Church.

November is over.

The final month of 1995 is approaching.

 

October 15, 1995 – Sunday – 11:57 p.m.

What a day!

Church was wonderful this morning.  Crystal was there and she sat with me.  I’m going to spend Fall Break with her and her family.  I’m looking forward to it.

It has been really cold today.  It’s around 35 degrees now.  It’s hard to believe October is already half over.

The last performance of Li’l Abner was today.  Everyone from church came.  We had strike afterwards and didn’t get finished until 8:30 p.m.

Eddie just left my room.  He came to get some notes for Diction.  We talked about Christianity some and then about acting and theater.  He tells me I have great talent.  I’m not sure how to take all of this.  Recently, because of Antigone, everyone has noticed my acting ability, talent, and gift from God.  God has given me this talent.  This gift.

And I can’t wait until the next time I get to use it!

October 11, 1995 – Wednesday – 11:45 p.m.

It’s been two years since the day Jonathan and I first visited Lees-McRae College.

I love it here.

Last night Derek and Tina and I stayed up until 6:30 this morning working on a lighting project.  We turned it in this afternoon.  It went very well.  We had the greatest time working on it.

I was reading some reviews of Antigone posted up.  Everyone said they enjoyed the Sentry the best.

Today I did a scene with a girl named Terra for the Directing class.  I directed us.  We played a married couple.  Terra goes crazy, tries to kill me, but instead kisses me.  It was very funny.  Everyone was laughing.  They say I am very good.  Perhaps they are right.

Li’l Abner opened tonight.  I am the house manager.  It is such a good show.

After the show, Melonie was telling me how much she enjoyed my scene with Terra this morning.  She told me that last year she thought I was an idiot, because she didn’t know me.  But now she says I have a lot of talent.

It’s hard to know how to handle all of this fame.

Maybe I can be a good actor.  Maybe I already am.

I just thank the Lord.

October 1, 1995 – Sunday – 6:00 p.m.

My mom came up here this weekend to see the show.  Grandma and Aunt Sis were with her.  They took me out to eat and gave me some money!  It was good to see her.

Antigone ended today.  Kevin couldn’t make it, but I’ll see him later.  It’s beautiful outside today.  I am lying here on my bed, listening to the Legends of the Fall soundtrack.

It is peaceful.

I enjoyed Antigone so much.  I worked with such a great cast.  Everyone has complemented me on my work.  I have grown and learned so much.  They said I was born to be a comedian and to make people laugh.  They said I had talent and that it is going to take me far.

Antigone will never happen again, except in my memory.

Crystal, Clifton, and the Spradlings were there.  It was wonderful.

Dan, Vince, Allen, Curtis, and Jeff are turning out to be really good friends that I can possibly trust.  We hang out together all the time.  The other night we watched all three Star Wars movies back to back.

It’s October.

How far I’ve come.

Fall break is in 17 days.  I don’t know where I will be.

Last night Amy and I watched The ButterCream Gang.  It was great.  It is so wonderful hanging around her.

Simple little things happen each day.  So much so that I can’t write about it all.  Love and joy are all around me.  This land, these trees, these golden leaves, good friends, lovely girls…when did the world become so insanely beautiful?  I thought nothing could top my days with the Jason and the Emmanuel Players.  But perhaps these too are some of the best days of my life.

September 28, 1995 – Thursday – 11:58 p.m.

I got a lot of laughter and compliments from Antigone tonight.  Everyone said I stole the show and took all the attention.

Afterwards, when I came back to my Residence Hall and was hanging out with Dan, Jeff, Vince, and Mike, Jeff got a phone call.  He came back to us with tears in his eyes.  His best friend’s mom had died in her sleep, totally unexpected.  She was like Jeff’s second mom.

I spent some time with him.  We listened to some music and talked.  He will go home this weekend.  He will be okay.

You know, I can see things changing.  Every day things grow more and more different and distant from where I came.

October is almost here.

1996 is almost here.

So fast.

But that is life.

September 23, 1995 – Saturday – 4:57 p.m.

After our Antigone rehearsal, I went to watch the dancers and cloggers perform.  Then I went to lunch.  I sat with Dan, Vince, and Kris, but then I moved to sit with Stacey and Lisa sat down to join us.  Lisa asked me when I had rehearsal and I told her that we had already had it.  So, then she asked me what I was doing this afternoon.  I told her nothing.  She asked me if I wanted to go to Boone with her.  I said, “Sure!”

So we went.

Lisa has just recently broken up with her boyfriend.  They were together most of last year.  She admitted to feeling depressed.  While in Boone we felt the desire to be spontaneous, so we decided to visit Mystery Hill.  It’s a little museum/tourist trap thing on the way to Blowing Rock.  Lisa was excited and starting bouncing up and down at the idea.

It was actually really interesting.  I took some pictures of us standing up straight, but appearing as though we were leaning sideways in this house.

Afterwards, we went to K-Mart and the mall.  We had fun.  We sang together while driving around.  She is so adorable.  She is only 4’11” and I’m 6’2″.  She has invited me to her house for fall break.  I might go.  I’m not sure.

She thanked me for coming with her and said she really enjoyed herself.

Thank you Lord.

September 22, 1995 – Friday – 10:38 a.m.

Last night I went over to Suzanne, Eliana, and Char’s house so I could help Suzanne with her lighting plot.  Vince and Allen went with me.  We were there until three in the morning.

Antigone opens this Tuesday.  I have enjoyed doing this show.  I have worked with the greatest people:  Dr. D., Megan, Eddie, G. W., Melonie, Amy, Eliana, and Christina.  I will miss it when it is over.

Tomorrow is Christian Music Day at Carowinds, but I have rehearsal and a work call.  I can’t make it!  It will be the first one in years that I have missed.

Suzanne aske me last night if I think about Jeni anymore.  I told her “no.”  Then she asked me:  “Well, who do you think about?”

And I couldn’t answer.  There is no one that I think about.  There is no girl in my life now.  Not one.

And I am okay with that.