July 16, 1997 – Wednesday – 10:45 a.m.

Monday night was amazing.  Rebecca St. James puts on a wonderful concert!  There was an altar call during the concert and I went up.  I needed for God to break me and recreate me.  It’s time for me to grow to the next level.

Last night I was asked to drive some Alumni up to the top of Beech Mountain.  We met a tour guide up there and toured around the old Land of Oz.  There was a museum there with actual costumes and props from the movie.  We got to walk through the life size replica of Dorothy’s house, and we followed the yellow brick road.  Everything was just beautiful and amazing!  Realizing I was in a magical land in a small town that sits higher than any other town in the Eastern United States, I left the group and walked ahead on my own.

After I turned a corner I stopped and looked around since I was totally alone.  And there I saw what I thought was a statue of a deer.  Only the statue turned and looked at me, so I quickly realized it was a real deer.  I expected her to immediately run away, but instead she just bent down to eat some grass.

I took a step closer, still expecting her to run, but she didn’t.  She lifted up her head from the grass and looked me in the eyes.  I took a few more steps closer and then the deer walked closer to me.  She was so beautiful.

After a few more steps we were right in front of each other.  I knelt down and she took a step closer and sniffed my cheek and my mouth.

No fear.

Nothing.

She saw me for who I was and touched her nose to my face, then softly licked my cheek.

It was a taste of heaven.

No fear or hate.

Only love.

Love.

On this Wednesday morning a thunder storm is brewing over Banner Elk.  I can hear the thunder rolling now.  The skies are darkening.

The wind has caught up with this flower and broken it.

I am dying, only to be raised.

The wind will soon blow my petals to another land and there I will grow again.

But one thing is clear, God wanted me here in this land and in this time.  He brought me to these mountains to kiss me.  May your name forever be praised!

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March 22, 1997 – Saturday – 11:30 a.m.

Four days since my last entry.

Things are okay.

Recently, I’ve spent a lot of time in Christian chat rooms on the Internet.  I’ve met some cool people in Germany, Scotland, Canada, and everywhere.

Ann-Marie had a birthday; she is now 19.  She got the Star Wars Monopoly game and we played it last night.  Jeni and Tracey came over; as well as Andrea.

Jeni and David are not together.  He basically broke up with her but forgot to tell her about it.  She has six weeks left in this land.  We’ve grown closer.  Her time here began with me and it may end with me.

Tracey and Timothy are getting close.

Abigail is moving away; about five weeks left for her.

Curtis is gone in five weeks.

The weather is warm.  I went for a drive yesterday in Jeni’s car.  I went to a place I’ve never been before.  Very nice.  Beautiful land that I call my home.  Beautiful it is.

I wish I could be free from myself, free from my thinking, free from my flesh.  I wish I could fade into these mountains and let their purity overtake me.