Do you know what happened a year ago today? It has been one year since I first visited Lees-McRae and saw its beauty for the first time.
The college is even more beautiful to me now.
In that entry one year ago, I wrote the following: I wonder if there will be a girl up at Lees-McRae whom I’ll think about like I think about Ryan.
It has happened.
The dawn is breaking.
The sun has set.
The memory has faded.
Yet the past year has still existed. The night I saw Les Miserables and the 3rd of November. The night I saw The Sound of Music and the night at Mr. Gatti’s with Tenielle. The hayride in the cold and Christmas day. Seeing the dead grass on January 15th, 1994. The problems with Marcus, Scott, and Cheryl. Monday, February 7th and U & I. My trip alone to Southern Pines and Hank saying I could date Christi. The DC Talk concert and The Imperials. Christian Skate Nights. The flower that I wanted so desperately to grow on March 17th did finally grow, just not over the summer.
Then there was the day I saw Schindler’s List and the day I saved the whole world. Then there was April 10th and I was right, this land is flowing with Milk and I am again saving the world.
I am here.
Here after Carowinds on April 30th and my graduation on June 10th.
It is true, I will probably never see Renee smile again and I did leave calmly like a dove.
My dad still broke my heart, but I still love him. I met only one guy at orientation, but now I am a friend to dozens of guys and girls. I saw my self in The Lion King.
Winter Dreams have passed.
I am flying now.
Jeni gave me a letter today:
It was nice getting to talk to you on the phone tonight (even though it was cut short). I guess I didn’t realize at first just how little we actually got to talk over the past few weeks. I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I know that I’m not always generous with letting you know how I feel. You know, when I first really met you that night in Hayes (when we were putting the dance floor down), all I really knew about you was that you have been to FCA once, but I didn’t know how committed to Christ you were. Somehow though, I had a feeling you really knew Jesus. I could say it was that you were singing Christian music, but it really wasn’t that. I could tell by your kind, caring smile and your clear eyes. I could see that you knew the “truth” just by the way you looked at me. I guess that’s why I can’t stop looking at you; your eyes represent truth, kindness, gentleness, and the love of Christ. Sometimes I am so amazed by God in the way he works and answers prayers. First he brings me Tracey, but then he brings me you. You have no idea how thankful I am. I was so used to having a close family of Christians and if it weren’t for you, Tracey, and Rachel, I would be so homesick.
There’s more though! All of the little things you do for me. The kindness, the gentleness, and just the way you treat me. You’re just great! You know, I’m so glad I fell in the creek. Well actually, I’m more thankful for the walk back afterwards.
I just wanted to let you know how much I think of you and why I love you so much.
Love in Christ,
The Canon has moved up a step and now Lord I ask you, only if it is your will, to stop it.
May this be the final note. May this note ring in my ears forever.
There is something which I feel I should say, but it seems with Jeni’s last line, she has already taken the words straight from my young heart.