September 7, 1999 – Tuesday – 4:37 p.m.

The days have gone by very quickly.  Will the passing of time never cease to amaze me?

A bunch of guys from church and school got together to minister at the beach on Labor Day.  Then a few of us hung out in my apartment together and wrote original worship songs.  It was an amazing time!  I worked on the lyrics while the others wrote the music.

Auditions for my film are in three weeks and we haven’t raised a dime.  But God is in control.  I asked him to test my faith through this project, so I’m sure he is.

My facial hair grows faster these days.  Does that mean I am getting older?  I plan on spending most of this evening in the computer lab.

. . .

Kara just called me.  She’s a woman I met at a party and Chris and Jason’s last night.  We talked for a while and discovered that her aunt’s husband put a cast on my arm when I broke it in the 7th grade.  How weird is that?  Anyway, she’s an actress and I told her about Dang!.  She wanted to know if she could come by and pick up a script.  But an even weirder thing is that just last night, after the party, I had one of those notions to just go outside and walk around the village.  After a couple of minutes, low and behold, there she was walking right towards me on her phone.  She ended up coming to my apartment and I gave her a script.  We’ve been talking for the past hour just now.  She said she didn’t expect to have such a bonding time with me.

She’s fun, kinda different, and doesn’t seem to be wearing a mask.  She said she wants to point me in the right direction to help raise some money for my film.

Thanks God!

August 31, 1995 – Thursday – 10:10 p.m.

Our plans have changed.  I called my mom tonight to let her know that it was only going to be Syndi and I staying at the house this weekend.  Well, that didn’t go over too well with them.  And they wouldn’t let us, so guess where Syndi and I are spending our weekend..

That’s right!  Deep Creek!!

This is amazing!  I will be able to make it this year.  I will keep my tradition and I will stand over the river next to Pizza Hut and stare out at that never-changing scene.  Syndi will be at my side.  We will hike, we will tube, go to Cherokee and drive go-karts. We will have the time of our lives.

I mentioned something tonight over the phone about how my mom will see us as good friends and like Syndi just for that.  She said that my mom will probably think we are dating since the rest of the campus does.  And what surprised me most is that it doesn’t bother her.  She likes being associated with me.

There are three waterfalls at Deep Creek.  Syndi and I will see them all.  Together we have only see three.  So after this weekend is over, our total will be six.

Four special days…

In the beginning of September…

In a place where I met a girl..

Whom I spent four special days with…

In the of August.

It’s been a month and Emily hasn’t written.

She is an angel to another.

Perhaps I can be a prince to another.

August 29, 1995 – Tuesday – 11:15 p.m.

Another day!

I’ve been having some trouble with James.  Syndi and I both have.  But it is all over with now, so I’m not going to bore myself with the details.  In short, he is acting very selfish and immature about Syndi and myself, plus a few other things.

We have no classes this Monday, thanks to Labor Day.  Syndi mentioned wanting to go to the zoo.  Since we have a long weekend she and I plan to go to my house this weekend and then go to the zoo on Saturday.  My parents are going to be away, visiting Deep Creek with my grandparents, so it looks like it’ll just be Syndi and myself.  And truthfully, I hope so.

Tonight I had a rehearsal for Antigone.  Originally, I was the Sentry, but tonight Dr. D. also gave me the role of the Messenger.  So, my role in Antigone has doubled!  That pleased me!  And today I called Regent University in Virginia Beach.  They are going to send me some information.  I talked to a woman named Elinor.  So many doors have opened.

God is simply great!  I’m only a sophomore, yet I feel like I know where the Lord is leading me after graduation.

Thank you for everything Father!

September 4, 1994 – Sunday – 11:50 p.m.

Tonight after I ushered I Do, I Do, James and I, plus a bunch of people I don’t really know, went to Subway and just fooled around.   The other people’s names were Kurt, Lulu, Katie, and some other girl.  I guess I had fun.  

But what I did tonight I used to do with other people.  And they are not here with me.

At one time, I wanted so desperately to get away; off on my own.

But now I see that what I really wanted was to get away and bring them with me.

September 4, 1994 – Sunday – 3:15 p.m.

Something came up and Christy wasn’t able to take me to church because of some soccer thing.

Everyone is gone.

I’m alone.

Far from home.

Who sees?

Who even cares?

Last night I ushered for I Do, I Do.  I’m going to usher again tonight as well.  It will give me $10.

I guess since I have a lot of free time, I should write people.

Tomorrow is Labor Day.

Two years ago, I was at Fantasy Lake.  I knew who Ryan was then.  I still remember that strand of curly hair that dangled next to her ear.  So beautiful.  One year ago, Amy’s finger got smashed in the door at Kiwanis Park, and, well I knew Ryan was all too well.

Holy cow!  I just realized September 12, 1992 was almost two years ago!!  Well, it was bound to happen.

Instead of pondering on old dates, I believe it’s time to make some new ones so I can have something to ponder on two years from now.

September 6, 1993 – Monday – 11:04 p.m.

A year ago today the youth group went to Fantasy Lake in Fayetteville.  It was for Jason’s birthday.  It’s his birthday tomorrow.  He will be 21.

Everyone went.  Even Brandon.  Even Mike and Ruth.  I got really bad sunburn.

I remember Ryan there.  I remember the swimsuit she was wearing.  I remember the way strands of her hair curled down in front of her ears.  I liked her then, but not like I do now.  I just noticed she was sweet, innocent, and beyond beautiful.

We had all planned on going to Fantasy Lake again this year, but Ryan said it was going to rain.

It didn’t.

Instead, we had a humongous water balloon fight at Kiwanis Park.  It was a blast, but during all the fun poor Amy slammed her middle and ring fingers in the door of the girl’s bathroom.

Amy panicked.  I mean really panicked.

I’ve never seen her act like that before.  I drove her home and Ryan went with me.  I felt so sorry for Amy; she acted like a six-year-old kid, but she’s 14.

Oh, that reminds me, Amy had a birthday party at her house last Friday and Mike and I went.  We had cake and played games.  It was fun.  And on the way out I accidentally bumped into their mom’s truck and dented it a little bit.  Eek.

But anyway, I felt so sorry for Amy; she was just crying and crying.  She kept praying and saying, “God, I’ll never do another bad thing in my life, please take this pain away.  I’m so sorry God.  I dedicate my whole life to you, just please take this pain away.” Ryan was doing her best to comfort her.

We made it to her house and Emily, Ryan and Amy’s mom, took care of her.  She didn’t break anything, but she busted the blood vessels.

Ryan and I left to go back to the park.  She was going to spend the rest of the day with Cheryl.  We had a neat talk on the way back to the park.  She’s simply wonderful and her heart is full of love for her sister and her mom and the rest of her family and all her friends.  She is the perfect example of “Love one another.”  I admire her for that and I wish I could be more like her.

Marcus and Scott and I decided to go to Fayetteville to see a movie.  Scott had to beg his mom before he could go.  But she finally said yes and we had a great time.  We played air hockey and then saw Rookie of the YearGreat movie.

On the way home, Scott and Marcus talked about how abusive their fathers were.  I have never known anything like that.

Misty was right.  My life has been a bowl of cherries.

Thank you Lord.

Speaking of Misty, despite all her threats of suicide, she’s still alive and she still comes to church regularly.  And, she still gets on my nerves.  I try to avoid her.  Cheryl and Ryan said she was looking at my butt on Saturday.  I don’t even really have a butt.  It’s more like a line where my legs join together.  Oh well.

Another Labor Day has come and gone.

This one was really special.  Ryan and I shared something with each other today.  We shared a look, and that look became a knowing.  Today, while helping Amy and driving her to her house, I felt really close to Ryan.  It’s hard to describe.  We both were on the outside of Amy’s suffering, but we still shared the experience.  We both shared looks with each other.

She knows.

And I know.

On the way back from her house, there was something there between us.  It was just an awareness and a knowing.  She knows she is important to me.  And she knows that I know she knows she is important to me.

We didn’t say anything along those lines to each other, but we didn’t need to.  I may be taking a long shot by saying this, but somehow I know Ryan will affect me for the rest of my life.  I don’t know in what form, but I know I will never forget her.