June 5, 1994 – Sunday – 11:45 p.m.

I hugged Jenna twice today.  That makes it another best day of my life.

This morning I played both of my characters in Children’s Church.  It was fun.  Afterwards when I had all my make up on I gave Jenna and Tenielle a hug and rubbed my white face makeup all over their faces.  This evening while Marcus and I were getting ready to go to Baccalaureate, he gave me a big hug and said all this weird stuff.  He said he felt like he had been played as a fool.

I think I know what happened, but I can’t prove that this is the truth.

This morning Jenna gave me a letter; it was short and sweet.  I put that letter in my drawer and then later I found it on the floor.  Marcus must have found it and read it; I’m not entirely sure though.

This is what Jenna’s letter said:

“I wish you would hug me like that more often.  You can really hug when you try.  I love you.”

Marcus likes Jenna but I’m not sure how she feels about him.  She tells me that she love me often, but she means it in a friendly way.  At least that’s the way I take it.  Oh well.  Tonight was the Baccalaureate Service.  I had a good time.  It was good to see everyone.  I’ll see them at our final graduation practice and then the Senior picnic and then graduation night.  And several names will be added to My Collection, those greetings and farewells.

We drove to church after the service and caught the tail end of it.  Jenna and Tenielle gave Marcus and I a little teddy bear wearing a gap and gown and a mug as graduation presents.

Jenna looked so pretty tonight.  She gave me another hug and said, “Yep, there it is.”

I said, “What?”

“That pelvis bone digging into my hip,” she said.

“It’s not my fault I’m so skinny.”

“No, I love it,” she replied.

Anyway, it was a good day.  Another day has passed and it sadly passed too quickly.

This time next week, I’ll be in Virginia with my dad.  Out of the 84 days of summer, I can give him at least seven.  I figured the beginning of the summer was the best time for me to visit before everything gets really deep and emotional.   

I wonder if everyone will miss me for a week?  I’ll know I’ll miss them.


April 4, 1994 – Monday – 4:30 p.m.

It’s Christian Skate Night!

Kenny is going and he invited Becca and Rebecca.  In case you don’t remember, I used to like Rebecca.  She is the Swedish foreign exchange student and as far as I know Kenny and I will meet them at school at 6:30 p.m.  Kenny also invited Lisa and a lot of other people.

I just got off the phone with Tenielle.  She said she had a letter for me.  She told me what she did today and she said she would talk to me some more tonight.  In the letter I wrote her, I complemented her on her eyes and her beauty and how nice she is, etc.  Last night at church, I can’t explain it, but something was there while she sat next to me.  She kept looking at me and smiling.  She hugged me about three times and she put her arm around me once.

Also last night I went up to Megan’s little sister and asked her to give me a massage.  She gives a great massage.  Tenielle and Jenna walked in and I saw Tenielle look at me weird.  Jenna came over to us and asked us me if I asked her to give me a massage.  I said yes.  At that point I figured it was time to go.

I went up to Tenielle and she gave me another hug, I walked them outside, said goodbye and Marcus and I left.

I hope tonight goes well.  Veronica will be there and I hope she doesn’t get in the way.  It will be an interesting night.  A night that will soon only be memories.

I also might see Christi tonight since I have to take the Roller Blades back afterwards.

Well, I’m going to go find something to eat.  And when I get back here tonight I will tell you what happened.

October 17, 1993 – Sunday – 9:31 p.m.

The past week has been okay.  We didn’t have school on Friday, and yesterday’s skit practice was fun.  Misty showed up to it and she came up to me afterwards and said, “Jacob, I’ve been good this week, can I have a hug?”

I didn’t want to, but I said, “I guess.”  I hardly touched her, but she just embraced me.  Uggh.

Earlier Saturday, I had an eye appointment and I got a free trial pair of extended wear contacts.  They are nice.

I then went to Scott’s new house and I shot a 12-gage shotgun for the first time.  It about knocked me down.

This morning we performed a skit about healing.  It was really moving and almost everyone in the audience was crying.  So it turns out this little skit group isn’t dead after all.  I don’t know if we will ever perform the old stuff, but we are still alive.

Things went well this weekend.  This afternoon we played football at Danny and Peter’s.  Ben was there.  Together we all watched Transformers The Movie.  As a child, transformers were my favorite toys.  Watching that movie brought back so many memories.  I remember going to see that movie in the theater.

You know what?  I’m young.  I mean really young.  I’ve got a long way to go.  My senior year is already a quarter of the way through.  It is going by quicker than I thought.

And soon I’ll be at Lees-McRae.  It would be awesome to have a car in college.  Please God, I need one.  You are my provider.

September 15, 1993 – Wednesday – 10:33 p.m.

The past few days have been normal.

Today I had an orthodontist appointment, and afterwards I went to Wal-Mart.  Last year around this time I noticed a girl at school.  Her name is Renee.  I never really liked her, I just noticed her because is she absolutely beautiful.  Well, while at Wal-Mart, I went around the corner of an aisle and the same girl walked right by me and looked at me.  I have never spoken to her before.  We’ve never even shared eye-contact before.  But time stopped and it seemed like forever but I finally said “hey” and she said “hey” back in her sweet, soothing voice.  It stabbed right through the core of me.

Ryan was at church tonight.  I didn’t talk to her much.  I miss her.  I see her, but I just wish there was more.  I know there won’t be though.  Sherry, Veronica’s cousin, was hugging all over me tonight.  Her touch was encouraging.  We’re good friends, but it made me realize that I like being single.  And I want to stay that way for a while.  The incident at Wal-Mart made me realize that, too.

So, with Ryan, I’ll still think of her and if something happens, praise God, but I’m just going to wait for God to move.  There are other girls, but these modern productions are all very well, but there is nothing to equal from what I here tell:  that moment of mystery, when I made history, with Ryan…the girl I could never tell…