May 10, 1995 – Wednesday – 2:30 p.m.

My mom is supposed to meet me here in my room at 3:00 p.m.

Thirty minutes.

My Freshman Year at Lees-McRae College is over.  It’s gone.  It will never happen again.

I have changed.  I have grown.

But I am me.

August 28, 1994 to May 10, 1995.

Eight months and twelve days.

It began with a kiss above one waterfall…

elk river falls

But ended with God’s grace under a different waterfall…

elk falls

Smiles were made, but tears washed them away.

God is under the waterfall, catching all of my pain.

In His days of grace, my tears turn into sweet, sweet rain.

April 18, 1995 – Tuesday – 4:15 p.m.

The Spring Dance Concert is this weekend.  Well actually Thursday and Friday night.  I am running sound for it.

I have to go to the rehearsals tonight and tomorrow night.  That will make this week go by faster.

Then April will contain only one more week.

Then May comes.  By the 12th I will be back home.

I only have three weeks left of my Freshman year at Lees-McRae college.

People at church do not want me to go home for the summer, but I am.  Jonathan will be home with me.  It should be a fun summer.

I can’t wait until I see Jenna and Tenielle.

You know, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been here at school for eight months, but I guess I have.

Did I fly during these past eight months or did I sit on a branch and sing?  I believe I climbed the tree and sat on the very top.  And while I was there, I spread my wings and looked at all that was around me.  Then I jumped off of the tree and flew!

Where?  To Cincinnati.

I flew there many times.  Until this past time when something was unbuttoned and our relationship began to fall away.

So, I flew back to my tree.  And then down to Albany, closer to heaven than I had known.  Closer to my Angel.

Back at my tree, I saw things fly towards me.  It was paper.  It was ink.  And the most beautiful combination of the two.  It was my Emily.

So now as I prepare to fly back home, I look forward to the day I can fly to Crestview.

And the day when Eagle’s wings touch my Angel’s.

April 14, 1995 – Friday – 11:25 a.m.

April is already half over.

I sent Emily a letter yesterday.  I miss her.

I have no classes today and Monday due to Easter.  I was supposed to judge a talent show today, but that was cancelled.

Last night we had the Agape Service at church.  Everyone ate a meal together and there was some singing and preaching.  I was next to Shannon in line.  She talked to me a little.  I don’t believe I’ve mentioned her before, but she is a very beautiful freshman at ASU in Boone.  Every guy at church stands in awe of her beauty.  We just talked about school.

Laura and I also talked a little bit.

In one month I will be on my way home.

My freshman year of college is almost over.  It went by so quickly.  I did get the position as an RA for next year.  I’ll be on the same floor as I am now.  Charlie will most likely be the Assistant RD over all of Back Campus.

I have to be back here on August 15, 1995 for my training.  I will spend my 19th birthday here.

That is four months from now.  And I’ll spend three of those four months in Siler City, NC.

And so I continue on.  The summer of 1995.

And before I know it, it’ll be the 21st Century.

Who sees?

Does Charlie see?

Does Shannon see?  Does Laura see?

Does Lees-McRae see?

Does Jenna see?  Does Tenielle?

Does Marcus?  Kevin?  Jonathan?

Emily sees.  All too well!

Do I?

May 31, 1994 – Tuesday – 10:15 p.m.

I learned something today.  Something I was afraid to learn.

Today I went with three other students from my Computer Applications II class to sell Bear Facts (our school newspaper).  We went to Bennett, where they were having their field day.  While I was outside, I saw a group of people sitting on a bench.  I went over to them and said, “would anyone like to buy a Bear Facts?”

One young woman said, “Bear Facts?  Oh yes, it’s been years since I’ve been there!  How much are they?”

“Seventy-five cents,” I said.

“Wow, inflation has hit Central!”  She laughed and searched for the money.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.  Was it her?

It looked like her.

It had to be.

Then another woman said in response, “I know it Allison.”

I was right.

A step away from me sat Allison.  The Allison.

Allison was a Senior when I was a Freshman, and after I dressed up for spirit week, any time she saw me she would say something along the lines of, “Hey there.  Oh, you’re so cute.” and then just keep walking.  It really made my day.  I depended on it, because so many other people picked on me for being so skinny and lanky.  So, I eventually memorized her class schedule and I knew what hall she would be walking down in between each class period, so I would walk down that same hall, just so she could see me and tell me I was cute.  I honestly don’t think I could have survived my Freshman year of high school without that daily compliment.

She handed me the money.  I wanted to call her name.  She saw me, but didn’t recognize me.  Everyone says I’ve changed and grown up since my Freshman year.  She looked great and seemed to be doing fine.

I wonder if she knows how much she helped me over three years ago?  She has grown up and she’s forgotten little things like Central. And now I see that I too will grow and forget the little things, only to remember them when I read these Books of Days.

I have one more day of school left and 89 until I leave for college.

Can May already be gone?

And could I have made it this far without Allison?

I honestly don’t think I could have.  She gave me confidence.  Is there anything more valuable than confidence?

Thank you Allison.  I owe you so much.