July 23, 1994 – Saturday – 9:30 a.m.

Four days have passed.

Something happened: Wednesday night after coming back from Jenna and Tenielle’s, Kevin hydroplaned near Marcus’s house and knocked over a sign. No damage was done. So, Kevin didn’t say anything, which he should have. We had to push it out, so mud got on my pants. Mom saw it and questioned me. I told her. She tells Henry, Henry comes to me instead of Kevin. Then he goes to Kevin and gets an attitude with him. Kevin simply walks out on him.

This all happened last night and I guess Kevin spent the night at Marcus’s. He called this morning and Mom took him to work.

At Jenna and Tenielle’s Wednesday night, I stayed away from everyone because everyone is upset. Jonathan was with us and Jenna has been flirting with him. That, of course, makes Marcus mad. And she seems to think she has to be loveable so I will still like her when I just want to be her friend. She’s making me feel like I have a problem because I’m pulling myself away.

Jonathan doesn’t like Jenna. She annoys him in a way.

I’m done with that crowd. They think I revolve around them.

Jonathan and I had a good talk. I told him how much I miss the winter, spring, summer, and early fall of 1993. Back then I was with Amy, Cheryl, Ryan and Christi. Everything was solid then. If there were problems, I don’t remember them. They didn’t always have to be lovable and hugging me all the time like Jenna and Tenielle. We were all just friends and we all knew it. At first it was like that with Jenna and Tenielle, but everything is so complicated now.

I got something in the mail from Lees-McRae, saying I don’t have a roommate. I did, but I don’t now. So, I can keep my private room if I pay an extra $245 a semester. That is what I want, so I’m going to try and get a job and pay it. It’s only $2 more a day.

Monday, Jonathan and I are going to Pembroke University. He has an interview and wants me to go with him. This is his last chance to get into a college.

On the piano, I can play “A Heart Full of Love” from Les Miserables. It took me a long time, but practice makes perfect.

Our household is at odds. I told Henry that I worry about nothing because it is a waist of time. He wants me to be overly concerned because he is.

I just want to be free. I don’t care if some little metal thing has a dent in it under the car. But Henry wants me to.

Thirty-five days, and perhaps I’ll be free.

April 26, 1994 – Tuesday – 7:00 a.m.

It is in the morning.  I missed the bus, but mom will take me to school.

Jonathan is picking Marcus and I up after school and we are going to the Carman concert.  I don’t know if any of the other young people from church are going.  It will be fun.  The last time I went to a Carman concert was in September of 1992 with Jason, Anne, Christi, Ryan, Amy, Cheryl and Jonathan.

Jonathan flirted.  What else is new?

I liked Ryan then.  That was long ago.  Brandon was even there, but we went earlier because his mom was signing the concert (you know, sign language).  It was a lot of fun.

Two months ago I saw DC Talk in concert.  In four days I will see Petra and Cindy Morgan.

Thank you Lord.

Oh, Sunday night I told Jenna and Tenielle a joke.  And the three of us all laughed together.  Perhaps we will laugh together again.

I checked and Lees-McRae College is 170 miles from where I live.  Kevin’s college is 54 miles from here.  He comes home every weekend.  It’s kind of like he never even left.  I won’t have the same story.  I doubt I’ll hardly ever come home.