December 9, 1996 – Monday – 6:10 p.m.

I took an exam this morning.  I did pretty good.  I went to lunch at 11:30 a.m.; Abigail and her mom were sitting alone at a table.  I sat with them.  Abigail asked me how I was and I told her “great.”  She got up to get some food.

While she was away, her mom looked at me and said, “Jacob, Abigail really appreciates your spirit.”

My heart melted and I immediately looked up to spot Abigail’s cute profile as she waited in line.  “Yeah?” I said.

“It’s really good to have a spiritual influence away from home.”

“Well, she’s done the same for me.” I said.  “She’s the first person I’ve met here in the past two years that comes from the same spiritual background as me.”

Her mother told me that she went to Lees-McRae nearly 30 years ago and met her husband on the first day she arrived.  They’ve been together ever since.

My work for the semester is finished.  I did a jury scene today and my Reader’s Theater scene performed as well.  Everything went well.  I’ve worked really hard this semester.

Christmas has come again.

A smile is on my face.

Beauty is in this place.

Thank you Father for your grace.


December 12, 1995 – Tuesday – 9:00 p.m.

I just got finished with my Make-up exam.  I made vince an old Chinese guy.  It was really fun.  He looked really different.

I am on duty tonight.  I have a hunch that my PA and RA situations are causing a problem.  My duty nights are Tuesday and I have one weekend a month.  But Performing Arts interferes with that, and there are times when I have to put Residence Life to the side.  Charlie told me tonight that they are going to talk to me about it.  I hope I can still do both.

Sharon called me tonight and invited Vince and I over tomorrow.  That will be fun.

My brother and my mom called me up today.  Kevin is home.  They are going to come up Sunday to see the show and take me home.  A week later I will visit Virginia for a day and then stay in Siler City until January 4th.

A very short vacation.  A new semester will begin, perhaps new stories.

I am all alone.

I have a monologue I need to write out phonetically so I will sit here and do that in my perfect solitude.

Praise you Jesus.

Thank you for making me strong.

And thank you for the beautiful snow today.

May 8, 1995 – Monday – 9:45 a.m.

Oh boy!!

It’s Monday morning.  I am in the post office…yesterday was amazing.

Heaton Christian Church has begun two different morning services now.  One before Sunday School and the traditional one after Sunday School.  Charlie and I went to the early service; amazing!

Psalm 15!  Read it!

I talked to Clifton and Crystal and Molly and they wanted me to come see the play they were in at the high school today.  So, I went home with Clifton and Crystal.  I watched some of Benny & Joon.  Then we went to the show.  Molly and Clifton were actors and Crystal ran the sound.

The show was okay, but you could tell it was high school.

We went to church that night and afterwards we all got pizza from The Villa, then ate it at the park.  We played all kinds of little games.  It was me, Dan, Crystal, Clifton, Caroline, Jason, Sean, Meredith, and Trey.  There was this neat jungle gym thing that we played frisbee tag on.  That was the last night I will spend with those kids for a long time.  I will miss them; they are wonderful.

I got back to my room around 9:30 p.m.  I went to the computer lab to print something out.  James was in there.  He said hey.

I went back to my room and called Syndi.  She wasn’t in.  I left her a message saying something like, “I just wanted to see what you were up to and find out what time you were leaving tomorrow.”

I met Syndi on April 22, 1995.  That was just a little over two weeks ago.  So, I turned on the TV and smiled when I saw that Jurassic Park was on.  I watched about about fifteen minutes of it before I got a call back from Syndi.  We talked for a while and I told her about my day and that I went to see a high school play that afternoon.

She responded with, “Well, why didn’t you invite me?”

I then told her that I went to the park and she again asked why I didn’t invite her.

So I said, “Well, do you want to go now?”


So…we went.

Her car was already packed and I had no leg room whatsoever.  We drove to the park and played hide and go seek.  We swung on the swings.

And then this stranger said, “You know, you never taken me to meet your mom.”

I looked at her.  I wasn’t sure what was going on.  She then said, “Well, we could leave now, stop and say hi, then drive back and be here in time for my exams.”

“We could.”  I said.

I was getting a little worried.  She sounded serious.  So, I said, “Lets go somewhere a little closer where neither of us have never been before.”

“I know a place that I’ve been before, but you haven’t.”

It turns out she was talking about a beautiful waterfall around Elk Park.  So, we went.  It took forever to get there.  It was 11:00 p.m., only a quarter moon was out, so it was very dark and we couldn’t see.

We found a fence and followed that.  She took hold of my hand and we walked to the waterfall.  We stood there at the top above it.  It was very huge.  The stars were out.  We were in the middle of nowhere.  I felt free.

We found our way to the bottom and sat there.  Everything around me was beautiful…including her.  We sat there and talked about everything.

Then, I said “Could you imagine seeing the sunrise from up here?”

“We could stay if you want.”

“That would be cool.”

So, we went back up to her car and, since she was already packed up to go home, we got two pillows and two blankets out of her trunk.  We found our way back down through the dark and made ourselves a bed.

We laid there and stared up at the stars, and whatever thought was on our mind and in our hearts simply poured from our lips.  As we talked, she kept saying she was cold.  I told her to come closer to me.  She did and I put my arm around her.

We continued to talk and as we talked we got closer.  As time passed, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of the rushing waterfall and the sound of her breath as it ran across the rim of my ear.  Both of my arms were holding her.  One of her arms was around me.  She told me that she could feel my heart beating.

As I was staring at the universe above me, and holding a beautiful girl next to me, three falling stars shot across the sky.

Syndi is sweet, but she drinks a lot.  She curses a lot as well.  She is not a Christian.  I began to wonder how I got to that position.  I met this girl two weeks ago and now she is falling asleep in my arms below a gorgeous waterfall.

The subject of my faith came up.  She knew I was different.  I told her what I believed and I told her that Jesus loved her.  She said that she knew that.

Time passed, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

She woke me up sometime after one o’clock in the morning and said she was too cold to stay.  We gathered our bed and found our way back through the night.

As we were driving back by the college, she did not stop.  She kept going.

“Let’s go to Taco Bell!” she said.

In Boone, Taco Bell doesn’t close until two in the morning; or so we thought.  We were wrong.  It was closed, so we went to The Pantry and bought some food.  And then we drove back.

It was 3:30 in the morning when I finally got into my bed.

I woke up at seven and this day began.

I woke up happy.

I woke up free.

Syndi.  For some odd reason I care about her; a girl I hardly know.  And I thought of Jeni.  I thought of how she always wanted me to touch her body.

Then, Syndi, a girl whose body I held when it was cold, and a soul and a spirit whom I shared the love of Christ with.

I had finished the circle.  I felt pure again.

Jeni made me feel dirty.

Syndi let me keep her warm.

Jeni said that she loved me.

Syndi said that I was the most committed person to the lord she has ever met.

I feel like me again.

Thank you Syndi.

Thank you Lord.

Thank you for your waterfall.

May 6, 1995 – Saturday – 11:00 a.m.

It has started.

I did great on my English exam this morning.  I wrote about irony in four different stories.  I titled the paper “An A+!!”  It was supposed to be ironic, to prove that I knew what irony meant in a funny way.  Mrs. McGinnis laughed.

After I got back I began to get things together and pack up.  I spent a little over an hour doing that and then I stopped so I can study for stagecraft, but before doing so I wanted to write in my journal.

Ellen and Christina were in studying with me in my room last night.  We were studying for English.  Kevin called me while they were here.  He was in Virginia with Dad.  He said that our parents went to the beach.  That means Jonathan is at my house alone.

We finished studying and I went to the dinner with Syndi.  We sat with James, Krystal, Laney, Shadow, and some other people.  Shadow is this black guy who was telling everybody what they were going to be like when they grew up.  I laughed the whole night.

When I got back, I checked my messages and Jonathan had called.  He was worried since no one was there.  I called him back.

He said in a really terrified voice, “Jacob, there is a three-legged-cat outside.”

I told him that my parents were gone, but he could stay there anyway.  He’s doing well, and I can’t wait to see him.

Tomorrow is the last time I will be at church for a while.

Four more days.

I don’t know what this summer is going to bring me.  I don’t know about Emily.  I would love to work with the skit group.  Give me a place Lord, please.

I came to this land with nothing, but now I am leaving with a heart full of love and a scar on my forehead.

May 5, 1995 – Friday – 9:50 a.m.

Yesterday was the national day of prayer.  We had dinner at Mrs. Gobble’s house and had a special prayer time afterwards.  Mrs.Gobble is my math teacher.  She went on the missions trip with us.  She is single and said that if I wanted to come and visit Banner Elk this summer I could stay at her house as long as someone else is with me.

Last night I went to see 42nd Street with Kris, Shawn, and Tamara.  We got there a little late because Kris got pulled over for speeding on the way there.  It was a bummer.

The show was great.  It was put on by Blue Ridge Community Theater, but a lot of Lees-McRae Performing Arts students were in it:  Derek, Megan, Jason, Donald, Suzanne, Burlene, and Mr. Taylor carried some of the main roles.

I got in free since I helped build and unload the sets.  Afterwards, we went to Taco Bell with Heather and Amy.  They are two girls from Lees-McRae who were tappers in the show.  Kris has something going on with Heather.

It was a fun night.

Tonight I am going to go to the Presbyterian Church with Syndi.  They’re having a Spaghetti Dinner Final Exam Study Break.  This past Friday night, the night before I went to Carowinds, I stayed in her room until one in the morning.  We just talked and watched TV.  She is a sweet girl.  I wish I had met her earlier in the year.

I have three exams tomorrow.  I’m sure I’ll do okay.  I haven’t even begun to study yet.

Five more days after today.

Lord, please take care of these wonderful people over the summer.  Please bring them safely back to me.

I love them all.