April 11, 1996 – Thursday – 3:05 p.m.

A warm, bright, sunny day.  Classes were fun and I registered for the next semester.  I have all of my classes planned out for my senior year as well.  I will only have six classes to take in the span of two semesters.  I will have it made.

After I registered, I got back to my room and heard a double ring on my phone.  That meant an off-campus call.  I picked up the phone and a huge smile filled my face.  It was Molly.  She just called to talk.  We talked for about 40 minutes or so.  She’s only 16, but a lot of fun.  She is my buddy, I enjoy her company and she listens to me.  Thank you Lord.

After FCA I spent three hours with Don in the theater working on lights.

I hopefully will find a way to Carowinds this weekend so I can see my brother.



April 26, 1995 – Wednesday – 9:45 a.m.

Monday was the 24th of April.  During supper that night, Michelle got really sick and cramped.  She was throwing up in the cafeteria.  For some odd reason, I felt really bad.  I guess it had something to do with her asking me to the Spring Formal.  I got my tray, put it in the dish room, and I left.  I found Charlie and we immediately prayed for her.  I called her that night and she is taking some medicine.  She is fine.

That night at 7:30 p.m., Joey finally began rehearsals for his scene that I am in.  I play Tommy and a beautiful girl named Penny plays Jenny, a prostitute.  I’m playing a 21-year-old college student virgin.  The scene is simply us talking.  We leave together and she kisses me on the cheek.  James and Christina are also in it as a waitress and a bum.

Last night I judged a talent show for Elk Park Elementary.  Sally and Amy were also judges.  A lot of participants were from Heaton Christian Church.  Out of the six trophies given, three were given to members of our church.  I got $10 for judging; so that helps out a bit.  Thank you Lord.

I will be going home in two weeks from today, May the 10th.  April will end in four days.

On the 29th of April is Sonburst at Carowinds.  I went to it last year, it was on April 30th then.  Kevin and Marcus and hopefully Jenna and Tenielle are going to be there.  I’m going with FCA.  It would be so wonderful to see Jenna and Tenielle in the midst of a huge crowd and run up and hug them.

Please let me be able to find them Lord.

Time is going so quickly.  But it doesn’t matter…because I am a red light out in space and I can still see everything for its true beauty and meaning.  In a few months I will only be 19-years-old.  I am so young.  I know so little.  I see so little.  I have loved so little.  What is my destiny?  Where am I supposed to go?  Where will this breeze take me?

Brandon tells me he has no friends and no life in Prescott, Arizona.

Kenny is making $20,000 a year in St. Simons Island in Georgia.

Lisa got married this past weekend to someone I’ve never even met.

Will this breeze take me by those old friend again?

So much to see.

So much to learn.

So much to find.

So many to love.

I will only live once.  So why not do it all?

March 21, 1995 – Tuesday – 6:50 p.m.

Jonathan sent me more emails today.  I also talked to a guy named Curt.  This is the deal…Jonathan is going to spend the summer with me.  We’re going to rent out a room in a house that Curt is staying at for $150/month a piece.  All of this was good news to Jonathan.  He has no where else to go.

Sharon called me today, saying that she needed my help for drama productions for Vacation Bible School  That was great news to me.  But then after a while I got a weird feeling and grew very worried.  It’s like I’m going to have to share every wonderful thing up here with Jonathan.  There will be a lot of girls at Heaton who will like him; I can already see it.  But he will be happier.  He needs me.

This summer will be wonderful.

I am leading the devotion for FCA tomorrow.  I’m going to spend some God now and then I’m going to study a little.

I’m going to pray for Emily, Jonathan, Jenna, Tenielle, Christi, and everyone.

I can’t wait until I get another letter from Emily.

March 3, 1995 – Friday – 3:45 p.m.

Soft white flakes are floating outside my window.

Tonight is going to be wonderful.  At 7:30 p.m., FCA is sponsoring Mountain Top ’95.  It is an evening of Christian music, comedy, and games.  We have a singer coming and I am doing a skit with some other people.  It will be great.  Charlie is bringing some kids from G.A.G.  After the concert, we’re going to go to Johnson City to play Laser Tag and then we are having a lock-in at the church.

I’m going to be surrounded by Christians, it’s going to be wonderful.

I received my phone bill today.  It was $103.14.  I guess since I broke up with Jeni and things were weird I called a lot of people back home.

Today, after I got out of the post office, I went to play the piano in Evan’s Auditorium.  I played “A Heart Full of Love” from Les Miserables.  As I was playing, a girl came in.  I didn’t hear her come in though.

“That’s pretty,” I heard a beautiful voice say.  I looked up to see Alana.  She is a junior I believe.  We have said “hello” to each other maybe twice.

“I just had to come and see who it was.  I thought it was a recording.  That’s beautiful.”

“Thanks,” I said.

And then she was gone.

I continued to play with such happiness and joy.  And that moment reminded me of another; my graduation night when Renee smiled at me.  I was so happy and I felt like running after her and talking to her for the rest of my life.

But I didn’t, of course.

Not once, have I seen lightning strike during these winter storms.  Well, maybe once, but I had to get out of that storm’s path before it blew me away to Cincinnati.

October 26, 1994 – Wednesday – 11:20 p.m.

Glenda, the FCA President, asked Tracey, Jeni and I to lead FCA tonight.  We did and I lead the group in a game.  Everyone loved it and said they learned a lot.  Today I met Jeni in her room as I usually do at 3 o’clock on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons.  Besides lunch, it is the only time we spend together until all of our classes are over.  Her presence is so relaxing.  The Lord is blessing me and I don’t deserve it.  My savior is so good to me.

I love you Lord.

Thanks you for this school and for my education.  And thank you for Jeni and her heart full of love.  She is so special to me.  I can’t imagine how special she is to you.

And I’m really thankful that she loves you more than she loves me.

September 14, 1994 – Wednesday – 10:30 p.m.

What a wonderful evening!  That girl that I mentioned above, she goes to Heaton Christian Church.  Hopefully I’ll get to know her.

But rehearsal was great tonight.  I didn’t have to stay that long, so I went to FCA for about 30 minutes, but then I went back to the theater to lay out the dance floor.

In Mattress there are a lot of girls who only play Spanish Dancers.  One girl has been looking at me a lot for the past two nights.  Her eyes are just…it’s like they are drawing you in.  She had me.

Tonight as we laid the dance floor, the two of us began talking and then we began talking about Christian music, and then we started singing Christian music together.  It was great!  She has the most beautiful and graceful legs I have ever seen.  A pretty smile, everything.  She acts a little air-headed sometimes, but that actually makes her really fun to be around.  We talked for about 30 minutes and then it was time to go.  We walked up together with another girl, then we split up to go to our different dorms.  She said “bye.”

All of this and I don’t even know her name.

September 10, 1994 – Saturday – 11:50 p.m.

This morning I did some charity work with other FCA members.  It was a nice fellowship time.

I spent $3 washing clothes today and I talked to a couple of girls while doing it.  I went hiking along Hemlock Hill afterwards.  Such beautiful mountains and trails up here.

Charlie and Kristi and I just finished watching Major League II.  It was really funny.  I spent a lot of time with Cheris today.  She cut my hair and we talked about Les Miserables.  She’s a great friend.  God, please touch her life.

I’m looking forward to church tomorrow.  It should be fun!

Charlie has lived in Avery County for 20 years (he’s 20 years old).

I’m realizing now that each person up here has a different story of their own.

You and I will discover them together.

September 10, 1994 – Saturday – 12:20 a.m.

I haven’t written in a while.  A lot has happened.  Mattress rehearsals are going great.  It is so much more work than I thought though.  I obviously didn’t know what I was getting myself into.  

I didn’t hear one bit of honesty today in my religion class.  So I called Pastor Steve, but he wasn’t in, so I talked to Kathy, the secretary.  She encouraged me a lot.  She later hooked me up with Shurby.  He prayed for me.  I cried.  I miss their instruction so much.

Charlie took me down to Asheville this afternoon.  It was only a couple hours away.  We went to a Christian bookstore and I bought the new Amy Grant tape.  I like it.  We went out to eat then came back here and went to the high school football game.  There I met a woman I actually met my first day up here when I went to Heaton Christian Church with my mom, Sharon is her name.  She has three daughters.  Two are in high school.  One was a cheerleader there at the football game.  We went over to their house afterwards and talked until midnight.

Last night Charlie and I talked until one in the morning.  He is the only person I can talk to here.

Tomorrow morning I am helping clean a house with FCA.  I hope it will be fun.

Cheris is supposed to cut my hair tomorrow, or I guess technically today.

By the way, the Christy up here spells her name Kristi.  Oops.

This weekend I hope to write letters to a lot of people.  That will be hard.  It’s been two long weeks since I said goodbye.  And as each day passes I realize that I really did say goodbye.

My place is here now.

February 27, 1994 – Sunday – 8:00 a.m.

Right now I’m in a little town called Mint Hill near Charlotte, NC.  Everyone is still asleep.

I’m lying on a fold out sofa bed.  Lying next to me is a 29-year-old guy named Dakota.  He is from Alaska.  Next to me on the floor is my brother Kevin.  Also on the floor is a guy named Robert and on the sofa next to him is Marcus.  Robert and I are the only one’s awake.  He is reading his Bible and I am writing.

Saturday morning, Marcus and I went to Band Practice.  I was in a good mood because it was going to be a great day.  Marcus was too, but Megan sure wasn’t.  One of her friends died of cancer last week and she was bummed, so she wanted to make sure everyone else was.  She told me off, because she interpreted my happiness as being obnoxious.  I was bummed afterward, but once we left and got away from her, we found our joy again.  I guess you can’t blame her though.

I had to go to Wal-Mart and pick up my contacts, but they hadn’t come in yet.

During Band Practice, Cheryl invited me to go Ice Skating with her, Ryan, and Amy.  They were going to go to Cary and Megan told me that it was 15 minutes away from Fayetteville.  I thought that was a little far-fetched.  When we got there, there was a long line (probably because everyone still had Olympic fever).  Well, once I found out that Fayetteville was much farther away, Marcus and I left in order to get to Fayetteville by one o’clock.  We found our way there by I-95.

It’s later.  11:34 p.m. on the same Sunday.

Let’s see, so Marcus and I got to Fayetteville by I-95 and we easily found Methodist College.  Once we got there we packed our stuff in this guy’s car and headed for Charlotte.  The two guys are in the FCA and Bible Study at Methodist College.  The guy driving was Robert.  He was brought up in a strong Christian environment.  He’s from the beach, he’s a Freshman and loves the Lord, but he is sometimes too serious.  Marcus and Kevin and I always joke around and he would look at us weird, but he is cool, friendly, and you’ve got to hand it to him, he’s got it together.

The older guy was Dakota.  He is really cool; more on our level.  He and I got along great.  By the way he talks, he is going to try and set me up with his 17-year-old sister.  He showed me a picture of her.  She is beautiful.

We were all going to meet these people in Charlotte that they know from NC State University.  One girl came from Charlotte, so we all stayed at her parents house after the concert.  It was awesome!  There were three groups: Out of Eden, Audio Adrenaline, and, of course, DC Talk.

Audio Adrenaline was an alternative Christian band.  They were great.  They sang a song called “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Bang Your Head!”  Then DC Talk came on.  Everything was perfect!  I can’t explain it.

These people from Raleigh that we met were rich.  The girl who lived in Raleigh was named Christine and her house was amazing!

After the concert we went to eat at IHOP.  I ate strawberry pancakes and afterward’s we went to Christine’s house.

I’m tired so I’ll tell you about Sunday later.

This was one of the best weekend’s of my life.  But it wouldn’t have been as good if I didn’t spend time with Jenna and Tenielle on Friday night.