June 14, 1994 – Tuesday – 9:56 p.m.

My dad is home.  I couldn’t look him in the eye.

I said nothing, but I will let him know that I know sometime before I leave.  Which is Monday!

It’s June 14th.

Five months ago, I was with Jenna, Tenielle, Sunny, and Shar at Mr. Gattis.

Four months ago I talked to Ryan over the phone.  I was choosing between Christi and Jenna when it turns out that both were far from my reach.

Three months ago Jenna became a 14-year-old beautiful girl.

Two months ago I developed some pictures.

And one month ago was probably the greatest Friday night of my life.

A month from now it’ll be July 14th.

I’m so far from home now and in the midst of this darkness, the only thing that keeps me going is that I’ll soon be back home.  I’ll have so much time when I get back home; about 70 days.

Those 70 days are a gift from God.

I could have had 77 days, but for some odd reason I came up here to learn the truth about my perverted-loser-father and get my heart broken.

June 14, 1994 – Tuesday – 7:32 p.m.

I’ve calmed down some, but I’m still hurt.

I’ll never look at him the same way again.  I thought about taking everything and throwing it all away.  When he find that it is gone, he won’t have the gut to say something to me.  He knows he is in the wrong.

I don’t think I have the guts to do that though.  It will make him think though.

What happened to this world?  Why can’t everything be pure?  I brought my photo album to show my dad my life, but every girl he sees he probably imagines them naked.  There’s no way I’m going to let him think that way about my friends.

Sorry dad, but you have completely lost your son’s respect.  In fact, I don’t even like call you dad.

Will I tell anyone?  Should I tell Kevin?

No, why ruin his picture of his dad by telling him the truth about our father.

But he is 43.  He has to be his own man.  He must make his own decisions.  He has fallen from God, he doesn’t go to church, and he has a demon of lust living in him.  He complains constantly about everything.  He lives with his parents.  What a loser!

He is my father, but I am nothing like him.  I have his nose and that’s about it.