May 3, 1994 – Tuesday – 9:30 p.m.

Tenielle called me earlier in the afternoon.  She told me that she and Jenna were going skating tonight and she wanted me to come.  She begged but I told her that I wouldn’t be able to make it.  She was disappointed.  I hope she thought of me, while I was there.

Well, this section of the notebook is about over and so is My 5th Book of Days.  Time to find another little green notebook.

So, what was this one about?  Easy, it was about Jenna and Tenielle.  The happiness, the sorrow, the need, the impossible.  It was about me realizing that time was flying by and the days were counting down.  It was about hope, and alive grass, and milk.  It was about the world and how I saved it in time.  It was about hurt, and how I long for something so close, yet so far away.  It was about U and I.  It was about leaving the past, living the present, and looking into the future.

My 5th Book of Days!  From the beginning of 1994 to May 3rd.  A little over four months.

A year ago, Ryan wore sandals at Kiwanis park.

Hmm.

My next Book of Days will contain my graduation, and most, if not all, of the summer of 1994.  That includes Deep Creek!

Also my farewell and departure from this lifetime as I venture into another world, another place, another life.

What will it be like to read my journal when I’m eighty?  Will I cry?  Will I know Jenna and Tenielle then?

Christi and Ryan were once important to me and I hardly know them now.

Why do I still mention their names?

Why does Veronica suddenly pop into my head sometimes whenever I’m driving down the road?

Is this going to happen for the rest of my life?  Or will I forget?

Nevertheless, I write.

No matter what happens, I write.

I write my life.  This wonderful life; all the joys given by God.

These are the best days of my life.

One more book of this life here and then I’ll move on.

I have been here simple to love, 

To witness and experience joy and fun.

Soon, I’ll leave calmly, like a dove;

The way night comes, when day is done.