Tuesday. Two days without Sherlive, but my thoughts have been filled with her.
I washed clothes this morning. Worked, or rather laughed, with Lindy in the box office and then came back and washed dishes. I read my Bible and a Max Lucado story this evening, then Dan, Vince, Charlie and I went to a nearby pastor’s house. Dan had brought some chemical or something back from West Virginia and he wanted to make something called a potato gun. He said the chemical was illegal in all the other states except for West Virginia. But we didn’t have any potatoes, so the idea was to borrow some from this pastor with a nice garden. Once we entered his house, his wife asked us if we wanted some dinner. We said, “No, but we would like some vegetables from your garden.” And they were more than happy to give us some.
They didn’t have any potatoes, but they had tons of zucchini they wanted to part with. So, with our hands full of more zucchini than we could ever eat, we drove to the football field on campus and Dan got out this pipe and I don’t really understand what happened, but they stuffed one end with a zucchini, and the other end was full of this chemical, a bit of water and then Dan was holding a flame at the bottom. Nothing was happening and we were all saying he was full of crap, but all of a sudden…BOOM!!!
We had just shot a zucchini halfway across Banner Elk! It was a super loud explosion. Dogs started barking all over town, lights were coming on in all the houses, and I’ve never been so scared in my life so I just immediately started running across the field to hide somewhere; I was sure the cops were coming to take us away for life.
But I had totally forgot that Dan had given me his keys for some reason and I had stranded them there since I ran off. Luckily Dan had a spare key under his car in a magnet box, but it took them forever to retrieve it.
We finally met up and they kept making fun of how fast I ran away. I guess it was pretty funny, but I was seriously terrified at the time. I’ve already been arrested once in this town for trespassing.
. . .
I talked to Rachel tonight and I leave for Chrysalis Thursday morning.
While in the box office today, I called the church and asked for the number of a family that lives in TN, hoping they would have a phone book for that region. They did and I asked them to look up Denny, Sherlive’s dad’s name. They found it and I now have her phone number. I haven’t called her yet, but I might if she doesn’t show up for church tomorrow night.
I see Sherlive and I getting close, but this is her freshman year and my senior year. I’m kinda scared.
This is not my home.
Sherlive is not mine.
She is God’s, as am I.
God comes first.
Otherwise, nothing else will work.
Heaven is in the end.
Heaven is a secret.
A secret allowed to be told.
I must tell that secret.
Secrets are secrets because they are true.
. . .
July is ending.
The month of change awaits.
Change is hiding under my bed.
Awaiting to take me in the night.
I will change rooms, age, and class.
Voices, eyes, smiles, they are killing me.
I fight, live, and die for them all.
They come and haunt me.
I feel Sherlive understands this loving pain.
And that is what burns inside of me.
I no longer know what to write. I can’t write all of my thoughts for some of them are secrets. Secrets like heaven and they too don’t have words.