desires – 20yearsagoblog

Yesterday we went to the zoo.

It was myself, Scott C., Scott T., Ruby, Laura, Elizabeth, Nate, Cheryl, Anne, Ryan, and Amy.

I had a lot of fun. Afterwards, we went to Fayetteville and saw Aladdin at a dollar theater. We picked up Christi on the way there. She’s back from New York.

The last time I saw that movie was with Veronica. It brought back a lot of memories. A lot of good memories.

Cheryl rode with me back to Sanford. She said that she knew something I didn’t about Ryan, and it deals with me. It doesn’t matter anymore. I care, but it’s not important.

We went to McDonald’s after we got to Sanford. They were talking about everything you could think of. Both Christi and Ryan said they were ready to get married. Then Christi said she just wanted to fall in love, but she knew she had some more growing up to do.

Then I said, “I just want to grow up and make movies for the rest of my life.”

Cheryl thought I said “babies.”

That is only part of my future dream. Here is the full version:

I want to graduate high school and then go to a film school and learn everything there is to know about film and filmmaking. Then I want to write books, novels, short stories, plays, scripts, you name it. And I want to make movies. Overall, I want to be a storyteller.

I want to tell stories is so many different ways for the rest of my life.

And some where in between all that, I want to find that special someone to share all the joy and all the happiness and all the love with.

And I know now that will be neither Ryan nor Christi.

And I want to have a little girl, and I want to see her grow up and have so many boys go crazy over her, and I want, one day, to give her away in marriage.

I also want to have a boy and want to watch him grow up and fall in love as well.

But above all of that, above everything else, there is one day I am looking forward to. And that is the day I die, because:

The mountains are steep
And the valleys low
Already I’m weary
But I have so far to go
Oh, and sorrow holds my hand
And suffering sings me songs
But when I close my eyes
I know to whom I belong
Who makes me strong