June 22, 1999 – Tuesday – 8:40 a.m.

This camp is so wonderful!  I feel so fun and free.  We’ve called our team the Corn Bread Posse!  At service last night so many people were freed from sin and addiction.  I prayed with one girl who had a demonic manifestation before being set free.  God is so good.

Mary returned this morning.  She was away briefly so she could attend her brother’s graduation.  I met a couple of her friends.

I can’t emphasize how badly I needed these days.  I’m surrounded by so much energy, joy, and love.  Jesus is inviting me to a higher level of holiness, yet all the while every night is full of laughter.

Thank you Lord for this.

October 21, 1996 -Monday – 10:20 a.m.

I did get a hold of Tenielle.  She met with Shurby and had a deliverance session.  She said demons were cast out of her.  I praise God for that and still continue to pray for her.

My role in Rosengrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead is so easy and fun.  I thank God for my chance to work with that cast.  The show opens on Thursday.  My parents are coming on Sunday.

It has finally grown colder than usual.  The leaves are mostly off the trees and the top of Beech Mountain was frosty white on Saturday.

Wilkes came up to visit this past weekend.  He was one of the guys that worked with Vince and Ellen over the summer.  He and Ellen and I met up with Marjorie in Boone.  We went to a cool restaurant and simply laughed our butts off the whole night.

We ended up spending time at Marjorie’s house.  She such a cool girl.  I hope to see her again.

Yesterday, Vince and Laura and I visited Banner Elk Christian Fellowship.  It was great.  I saw a lot of people I knew.  The worship service was wonderful.  I want to go back, but next Sunday, I’m leading the Children’s Church at Heaton.

Jeni told me that Ann-Marie told her that I was a nice and sweet guy, but that my future plans do not go along with hers.  Therefore, she is not going to “waste her time.”  Which I agree with, but she seems to avoid me.  I try to talk to her and become simply a close Christian friend, but she won’t open up.  She is the props runner for the show.  Every time I talk to her she has this look on her face like, “Why are you talking to me?”

I wrote the two papers that were due, but I only read one play.  Vince and I leave for New York in five weeks.  Then two weeks of classes and exams and then I will go home.  I’ll work at McDonald’s for a month.  Christmas, and then 1997.

But before 1997 arrives, I have a show every night this week.

I give all of this to you God.

June 14, 1994 – Tuesday – 7:32 p.m.

I’ve calmed down some, but I’m still hurt.

I’ll never look at him the same way again.  I thought about taking everything and throwing it all away.  When he find that it is gone, he won’t have the gut to say something to me.  He knows he is in the wrong.

I don’t think I have the guts to do that though.  It will make him think though.

What happened to this world?  Why can’t everything be pure?  I brought my photo album to show my dad my life, but every girl he sees he probably imagines them naked.  There’s no way I’m going to let him think that way about my friends.

Sorry dad, but you have completely lost your son’s respect.  In fact, I don’t even like call you dad.

Will I tell anyone?  Should I tell Kevin?

No, why ruin his picture of his dad by telling him the truth about our father.

But he is 43.  He has to be his own man.  He must make his own decisions.  He has fallen from God, he doesn’t go to church, and he has a demon of lust living in him.  He complains constantly about everything.  He lives with his parents.  What a loser!

He is my father, but I am nothing like him.  I have his nose and that’s about it.

March 12, 1994 – Saturday – 11:45 p.m.

My original plans for this day fell through.  But what happened today was more wonderful than I could ever imagine.

We went out on the Bus Ministry and then Scott and Marcus and I went to Christi’s house, to see what Andy was doing.  Christi had a friend over and the three of them plus they’re mom were going to have a picnic outside.  I borrowed Andy’s Roller Blades and Christi took the time out to ride Andy’s bike down the road while I rollerbladed.  We had a nice talk.  She seems to be doing well.

Andy was busy, so we went to Fayetteville and just looked around.  Back at youth group, I saw that Jonathan came in with Kevin.

The service was great, but Jenna and Tenielle didn’t show up.  It seems like I’m their only way there.

Well, stuff happened at youth group.  A lot of stuff.

Two people got demons cast out of them.  One was a 15-year-old girl.  The other was Jonathan.  He got set free from Dungeons & Dragons, pot, and unforgiveness towards his father.  Afterwards, he was crying and for the first time in my life I held his hand and felt his pain.  I sort of know what he has been through by what he has told me, but it hit me then.  I cried like a baby.

I cried and cried.

How do people survive such pain?

I’m back guys.  The youth group is back!  I’m going to be the Jacob I used to be; the one I am only when I’m around certain people like Jenna, Tenielle, and Christi.  The ones who bring me joy!

I love you Jesus.

You are the giver of joy!

An eternal joy!

YES!!!!

I love you Lord!

February 3, 1994 – Thursday – 9:31 p.m.

Marcus and I had a talk tonight.  Something has happened; something that is not good at all.

Some strange things happened at church yesterday.  Now, in hindsight, I can see why.  I will try to explain to you what I can tell no one else, but by the way things look, all might be revealed Saturday by our own youth pastor, Shurby.

It is strange how the words of one man can pollute the air and kill the ones who breathe it.

I don’t know exactly when everything began, but it took a strange turn on January 18, 1994.  That is the night that Scott and I went to Fayetteville and saw Cool Runnings.  That was shortly after Marcus had talked to Cheryl and she told him that she just wanted to be friends.  You can reread the entries if you wish to.

By the way, as far as I know, all of this junk has nothing to do with my relationship with Jenna and Tenielle.  And I pray that is doesn’t.

The tongue is a fire.

So when Scott came to pick me up on that night, he saw Marcus.  And on that night, Marcus was sort of down about what happened a few days earlier.  On the way to Fayetteville, Scott questioned me.  Although I wish I hadn’t, I told him.  His response was, “So, Marcus likes Cheryl?”

In other words, he was speechless.

As I have said earlier, Scott wants a girlfriend.  I didn’t realize it then, but Scott has never stopped liking Cheryl.

Cheryl did not give Marcus the cold shoulder.  She did exactly what she said she’d do, she became a better friend to Marcus than she was before, but she was sort of confused.  So she asked Scott, or Scott brought the subject up to her and Cheryl asked for her ex-boyfriend’s opinion.

Scott, still liking Cheryl, gave her his opinion.  Neither Marcus, nor myself, know what it is, but with the circumstances being what they are, I believe it is self-explanatory.  

Before I go any farther, I must first tell you what Scott asked me on Thursday, January 18, 1994.  When I write down this statement, I believe it opens a door to the past that has never been opened before.  A door to the dark past.

“Jacob, do you remember what happened with Marcus at youth camp a while back?”

“Yes, yes I do.”  I knew what he was going to say and it scared me.

The youth camp we had the summer after my sophomore year.  The summer of 1992.  Nineteen months ago this week.  Four months and one week before I began my Book of Days.

It was during this wonderful week of ministry in which Marcus was delivered from the demon of lust.  Pastor Steve did the delivering and near the end he told some demons to go back down and that he would deal with it later.  The week ended, but Pastor Steve never dealt with it and never finished the deliverance.  But although Pastor Steve didn’t, Marcus did on his own, that same night, and he was completely set free.  Marcus told Shurby, and Shurby prayed with him and agreed that he had been completely set free.  I was there; I saw and heard the conversation, but Scott did not.

Nineteen months later whenever Scott discovers that Marcus like “his girl” he brings all this up, accusing Marcus of being filled with demons of lust.

Do you see something wrong here?

There is a lot more to come, but I will finish it later.  All of this has made me very tired.