Three years ago on this evening, I was sitting in Abundant Life Christian Center. Jenna was sitting to the lift of me and I drew a picture of her foot in my Book of Days. Jenna is now 17 and today I talked with her and her sister on the phone.
May 10, 1997.
October 1, 1997.
The first date is when Jenna will marry a young man named Herb. The second date is when she will give birth to her first baby.
Jenna is now three months pregnant.
U & I.
The Female Bird.
The girl who always hugged me. My sister and wonderful friend. She had sex with a guy I’ve never even met, but I didn’t hear this from Jenna, no I heard it from Tenielle, who just recently got over pneumonia. She said she cried for five days straight when she found out.
Well, there it is.
Oceans still move.
Waves still crash.
I tried to give advice and speak life to Tenielle, but she basically told me to shut up. “You haven’t been here Jacob! You don’t know! You have no idea.”
And she was right.
I have been here and I know nothing of their life now. To me, Jenna is still 14. Tenielle is still 12. And that ancient girl Veronica will never be anything other than 11.
On May 3, 1994 I wrote: “My Book of Days will never cease. I will write until the Lord comes back. And when I read this stuff when I’m 80, I wonder what I will think. Will I cry? Will I know Jenna and Tenielle then? Christi and Ryan were once important to me and I hardly know them now. Why do I still mention their names? Why does Veronica suddenly pop into my head sometimes whenever I’m driving down the road alone? Is this going to happen the rest of my life? Or will I forget?”
I don’t need to wait until I’m 80. Here I am at 20, nearly in tears.
Jenna, no matter what happens, I will still love you and long to hug you.