October 10, 1999 – Sunday – 6:32 p.m.

This morning I found out who I was.

Friday night I went to the Naro with Mary Anne and Brian to hang out with rich people drinking wine and listening to a four piece string quartet at the opening gala of a film presentation tour of the Library of Congress.  Then we watched Treasure of the Sierra Madre and On The Waterfront.  Both were newly restored 35mm prints.

I went back yesterday to see Sunrise and Letter From An Unknown Woman.  All four were pure perfection!

After church I went to the computer lab to work and I just returned.  But this morning through reading the newest CCM and reflecting back on the Caedmon’s Call concert, I realized that I have been and I always will be a Folk Filmmaker; I will tell the stories of the common people.

April 25, 1999 – Sunday – 11:05 p.m.

It feels much later into that night than it actually is.  Winter has definitely passed.  It is curious how the sun rises and sets and many do not seem to notice.  In eleven days I revisit Lees-McRae again.  It will be a blessing to lay my eyes on that land and its people again.  Thank you for this opportunity Lord.

In one week and one day my first year of graduate school will be no more.  Ice-skating was really wonderful last night.  We were there for about three hours until I took the time to soak in everything around me.  I am surrounded by treasures in these young people.  Each are so beautiful.  And it seems now as if a part of me is forever trapped in that ice rink.  God, for some reason, seems to be keeping me young.  Everyone tells me I look like a high-schooler and I hang around a bunch of high-schoolers.  Why is he doing this?  I know not.  And life should always be as such… not knowing.  What a beautiful thing.

My personal internal passion for cinema and theater and art is growing and expanding.  It feels as though I will die if I cannot do this.  I will starve.  It is how I worship, how I love, how I communicate.  It says in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God will complete the work he has begun in me.  He will finish my story.  He is the author and perfecto of my faith.  Do this sweet thing Jesus.  I give you my broken soul.  You are my life.

I pray you find pleasure in me.

I love you so.

It’s hard to stop writing.  I want nothing but to talk with you forever.