April 28, 1994 – Thursday – 4:45 p.m.

The Carman concert was great.  I was too young to be an usher so Wayne and I got seats on the second row.  It was amazing!  Jonathan and Marcus came in later and sat with us.  Some people from the church were there too.  And shockingly, we ran into Christi and Amy, they were with two other friends.

They didn’t sit with us.

When Christi was at church, I could always hear her sing.  Tuesday night, Carman had all the girls sing one part of a song.  Christi’s voice was there, but it didn’t stand out.  She blent in with the thousands of other girls I didn’t know.

Wednesday night was cool.  I sat next to Jenna and put ink marks all over her leg.  She was wearing shorts.

She got me back.

They are going to Carowinds on Saturday.

I don’t know if Kevin is or not.

It’s going to be so much fun.

Petra and Cindy Morgan!  Can you believe it!

I’ve been lifting weights.  I’m tired.

Marcus says that Saturday he is going to find a whole other crowd to hang with.  I know what he means, but I have a whole new world coming in four months, so I will take the time I have with this crowd.  Christian Music Day at Carowinds is just one big youth fest.  So many churches, so many youth groups, so many beautiful girls who love the Lord.  

Perhaps I’ll meet one of them.

April 26, 1994 – Tuesday – 7:00 a.m.

It is in the morning.  I missed the bus, but mom will take me to school.

Jonathan is picking Marcus and I up after school and we are going to the Carman concert.  I don’t know if any of the other young people from church are going.  It will be fun.  The last time I went to a Carman concert was in September of 1992 with Jason, Anne, Christi, Ryan, Amy, Cheryl and Jonathan.

Jonathan flirted.  What else is new?

I liked Ryan then.  That was long ago.  Brandon was even there, but we went earlier because his mom was signing the concert (you know, sign language).  It was a lot of fun.

Two months ago I saw DC Talk in concert.  In four days I will see Petra and Cindy Morgan.

Thank you Lord.

Oh, Sunday night I told Jenna and Tenielle a joke.  And the three of us all laughed together.  Perhaps we will laugh together again.

I checked and Lees-McRae College is 170 miles from where I live.  Kevin’s college is 54 miles from here.  He comes home every weekend.  It’s kind of like he never even left.  I won’t have the same story.  I doubt I’ll hardly ever come home.

April 21, 1994 – Thursday – 4:40 p.m.

I just got off the phone with Kevin.

He asked me if I had talked to Tenielle.  They write each other now.  And they both like each other.

Again I remind you.

Kevin is 19.

Tenielle is 12.

I don’t know what it is with young girls and us guys (Kevin and I).  But I’m done with it.

He wanted to know if I was mad at him.  I’m not.

He said that he told Jenna and Tenielle that in the past I would always become friends with someone and then they would become friends with Kevin and spend more time with him.  That happened with Marcus and Jonathan, but I still remained their friends as well.

Kevin told me that when I said that “I’ll be better in a couple of months,” it really hurt Jenna and Tenielle.  They took it the way I meant it, but I don’t feel that way now.

I was just mad then.

All these voices!

Tenielle didn’t give me her letter last night since she wasn’t there.  Cheryl asked Marcus and I to go to the lake with them this Friday, but I doubt I will.

I’m going to the Carman concert with Tim this Tuesday.  The youth group is going too, but Tim and I are helping back stage.

That means more voices!

No man is isolated.  

He is a part of humanity.

I am not an exception.

Bummer.

April 14, 1994 – Thursday – 7:40 p.m.

Four days have passed since my last entry.  

Church was awesome Wednesday night.  Allan taught.  Dang, he is good!

I sat next to Tenielle, she is back to her regular self again.  I don’t know what was wrong with her this past Sunday.

There are 36 days of school left.  Time has been flying.

I have to watch those kids tomorrow night after work.

I got the pictures developed today.  They’re pretty good.

Overall, things are going okay.  We have skit practice this weekend.

On April 26th, we’re suppose to go see Carman and on April 30th we’re suppose to go to Carowinds for Christian Music Day!!

Petra and Cindy Morgan will be there!

March 8, 1994 – Tuesday – 5:30 p.m.

It has been three months since I first talked to Tenielle and I thought my life was repeating.  But what I thought was wonderful trouble, just turned out to be a wonderful friendship.

Things are going great now.  I believe we’re all going to go see Carman in concert this weekend.  It’s been a good three months.  We’ve done so much.  All of the VIPs, all the Saturdays when we jumped on the trampoline, the nightie went bowling, the Christian Skate nights, U & I, all of the letters, and so much more.

Five months left.  Things could change.  But I don’t know.

Today was really warm.

Spring is here.

I made it through the cold winter.  Some areas were rough, but overall, it wasn’t bad.  I lost something though.  But then I gained some more.  I might see some leaves from that tree blow by me, but I don’t believe I’ll ever climb it again.  I know I’ll see Christi again, but I don’t think I’m what Christi is looking for.  I might be what she needs, but that is a little different.  Jenna and I are normal.  It is hard to open up to her, but that will come in time.  I’m getting to know they’re mom really well.  She’s cool.

Today, my Pre-Calculus teacher said that he heard I was headed for Hollywood.  He was referring to my video for English.  He heard about it somehow.  Other people told me the same thing.  Hopefully this is the first of many films.  This one is only eight minutes long, but it caught everyone’s attention.

Yes, some dreams will come true and I’m sure some will fall through.  And yes, the time to say goodbye to a few of those dreams will come in five months so that I can pursue the others.

November 7, 1993 – Sunday – 10:17 p.m.

A lot is on my mind.

A bird flew my way today.  A bird who has flown my way many times before.  Perhaps she likes the moon?  Perhaps not.

Yesterday was Saturday.  Mom and Henry left that morning to go to Charleston, SC.  It’s their 10th anniversary.  I don’t know how my mom put up with him for so long.

I had to take Nate everywhere I went.  Well, Marcus and I and Nate went to Scott’s house to go fishing.  We had a good time, and afterwards stopped by Roses to buy Carman’s new tape.  Then we went to hang out in the Wal-Mart parking lot; a special Christian outreach thing was going on.  Music and mime.  It was great.

Youth group happened and then Marcus and Nate and I went to Christi’s house because Jason was back in town for a few days.  But absolutely no one was home.  We figured we would try tomorrow after church.

Church was weird this morning.  Afterwards, Nate went to David’s house and we went to find Jason again.  The rest of the family was home, but Jason left early that morning to go back to college.  

Christi and I finally got a chance to talk.  But I’ll have to write about that tomorrow.  Right now, I’m going to sleep; reliving the conversation in my dreams.