July 24, 1998 – Friday – 3:10 p.m.

Yesterday we went to minister in the malls in our normal street clothes without doing any drama.  Amanda was my partner; she reminds me so much of Emily.  We talked to many different people, and we bought lunch for some homeless guys.  It was nice to share the Lord with them.

Amanda, like Sarah, dreams of Broadway.  She is only 15, but her relationship with the Lord is strong.

A girl named Lauren and I had a great time putting on each other’s stage make up this morning.  She does not dream of Broadway, but of a simple life with a good husband and six kids.  And for a brief second, I dreamed I would be that good husband.  Hmmm.

It is nearly August.  I’ll be back in Virginia Beach in about 15 days.  We only have six days of ministry left here, but other days of worship, safaris, and traveling.  I hope to leave here with the mailing addresses of all my new American friends.  They spread all of the nation, so much so, I could travel America and never have to pay for a hotel room.

My parents are moving soon.  I will be a student again soon.  But all I want is to truly know my Jesus.  I lay my life before you Lord.  Please reveal yourself to me.  I just want to love you.


February 10, 1997 – Monday – 1:00 p.m.

Two days until the show opens.  Please help me God.  I can’t do this without you.

It is snowing outside.  The ground has been made white and pure.

Nate turns 12-years-old in two days.

Mark complimented me on my work ethic today at Lunch, and he’s a professional theater director from Broadway.  My journalism professor Steve, a professional from central Florida, said that I had a bigger grasp on the subject than any other student in the class.  Those who have made it, tell me I too will make it.

But my tongue grows dry.

My skin turns red.

My legs and shoulders ache.

But I do this work.  I enjoy it.  It is my passion and duty.

I tell stories.

And I’ll tell stories until I die.

November 29, 1996 – Friday – 11:00 p.m.

We went into the city again today.  We saw Miss Saigon at the Broadway Theatre.  It was great!  I couldn’t believe I was actually there.  I was right next to the Ed Sullivan Theatre where David Letterman hosts The Late Show.  It was just amazing.  We drove through Time Square; I was at one of the major crossroads of the world.

Things are very different here.  Food is very important in this house.  We had lobster and steak tonight.  My parents never cooked like that for my friends and I.  This family must be loaded.  Buck, Vince’s stepfather, bought my Miss Saigon ticket for me.  He has given me money for train tickets and other things.

I’ve gone to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, I’ve seen a Broadway Play, I’ve eaten lobster, even at Thanksgiving I tasted wine for the first time.

I called my mom tonight.  I told her all that was going on.  She was happy for me.  Sharon gave me $100, but Buck continues to buy everything for me so I haven’t used it yet.  I think they enjoy showing this little Southern boy a good, wealthy, New York time.

Thanks guys.

Buck turned 50 today.  We had a little birthday party for him.  He’s a cool guy.  I really respect him.

November 28, 1996 – Thursday – 6:30 p.m.

Vince and I went to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this morning.  New York City is huge.  Tons of people were all around.  I’ve never been colder in my life.  My feet felt like blocks of ice.  I couldn’t believe it.

We got off the subway and I couldn’t keep my eyes off the skyscrapers.  Vince kept telling me to look straight ahead or I was going to get robbed.  I’m so small.  I’ve seen so many movies that took place in New York, but it still blew my mind.  So many homeless people were around.  They looked so hungry.  We stopped to get a bagel and I’ve never seen so many options for a bagel before.  And the guy at the counter didn’t say, “May I help you?”  He just expected me to shout my order at him.  I froze.  Everyone around me was yelling bagel orders, I homeless guy was looking at me to buy him something to eat….whew…it’s a very big world.

The cliche is true.  It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.  In fact, I don’t want to live anywhere near it.  Give me a nice place out in the country.  That suits me perfectly.

Miss Saigon is tomorrow.  Last Thanksgiving I saw The Phantom of the Opera.  It used to be my tradition to go see a movie on Thanksgiving day; now it seems my new tradition is going to a Broadway Show for Thanksgiving.

I’m growing up.



October 30, 1993 – Saturday – 8:10 p.m.

Yesterday at school there was a memorial service for Mrs. Nance.  The whole school was almost in tears.  I was one of the students who was not.

Christi bought a new Broadway Musical Soundtrack and she recorded a copy for me.  It’s called Miss Saigon.

I thought Les Miserables was sad, and I thought Phantom of the Opera was sad, but Miss Saigon tops them both.

I’ve listened to it almost six times and I’ve gotten chocked up each time.  I balled like a baby the first three times.

I will cry when someone dies in a movie or a play, but I have never cried over a person who has died in real life.  Jonathan said it is because in real life we don’t accept it.

At the wake, or the viewing, whatever you call it, Mrs. Nance didn’t look like Mrs. Nance.  She just wasn’t there.  She wasn’t moving.  She wasn’t breathing.  It looked like someone else’s body.

Afterwards, we went to the lock-in for the youth group.  Kevin came back from college for it and to go to a cross country meet he and Jonathan were going to early Saturday morning.

Ryan and Christi weren’t at the lock-in, but mostly everyone else was.  We watched videos and talked and ate.

Amy and Cheryl told me that Christi wasn’t a part of the church or the youth group anymore.  I’m not sure what that is about.  I haven’t talked to Christi yet.  I have no idea what happened.

Ryan simply had to babysit. 

I slept almost two hours this morning while some people watched Return to Snowy River.  I had an eye appointment at 11:30 a.m. at Wal-Mart.  I went to that and then Marcus and I went to a place called Britt’s in Sanford and boy does that place have one fine waitress.

We ate there because I talked to Hank and Patti earlier and they said they were going to take Christi out to lunch there between her rehearsals for The Sound of Music.  They showed up, but without Christi.  She didn’t have enough time so they grabbed her a burger instead.  

I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn’t.

We came home after that and Henry felt the need to lecture us again.  This time is was on “conversing.”  Yeah, I don’t know either.

At the lock-in there were a lot of junior-high kids there.  Only about half of the original Endtime Warriors were there.  Cheryl said that everyone is leaving and new kids are coming in.  Cheryl is a freshman; she’ll be here for a while.

But she was right.  I received my acceptance letter from Lees-McRae today.  I will be there in less than ten months.

And in 20 days I will see Les Miserables.

October 23, 1993 – Saturday – 10:20 p.m.

We didn’t have skit group today.  We didn’t have singing practice either.  I stayed home all day.  A lot happened.  Too much to explain.  I’m happy right now.  Really happy.  So happy it’s scary.

Today I got up around nine o’clock.  I took a shower, moused my hair, and then watched some TV.  Jonathan called.  Everyone left to go wherever they went.

I was alone.

A whole Saturday.  A whole house.  All to myself.

What did I do?

Actually, I don’t really know.  I wrote a little while listening to The Phantom of the Opera.  I watched some more TV and then I prayed in the spirit for a while.  I played the Power of One soundtrack super loud and danced to the music in the kitchen.  I practiced my monologues for my college audition and tonight I watched four hours of TV in a row.  I haven’t done that in a long time.  I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, Baywatch, and the movie Mermaids.  Mermaids was really good.

But you know what?  Things are going to be okay.  I got a letter from Emily yesterday and in it she wrote a poem for me:

Today I saw an eagle flying

Crying out to you and me

Wondering who is free

Asking who might be…

An eagle

Making his dreams come true

Fly, eagle, fly!

Though this world may have no hope

His dreams can keep him free

Like an eagle

Making his dreams come true

Be an eagle, Jacob

Be an eagle.

Everything is going to be fine.  My dreams will come true.  I will write.  I will make movies.  And I will find that right girl out there in the world.  Whether she lives in Florida, North Carolina, or somewhere else; I will find her.

I dare you to keep reading.  By the loving grace and blessings of God, my dreams will come true.

October 2, 1993 – Saturday – 11:50 p.m.

Ten minutes away from the 3rd day of October.


Nothing really big happened this week.  Marcus and Scott couldn’t do their concert this weekend.  Today, I had a SAT workshop at school.  The SAT is next Saturday.

I got a brochure from Lees-McRae College this past weekend.  If things go as planned, Jonathan and I will go visit it next Tuesday.

The week coming up is Spirit Week at school:

Monday is ‘60s and ‘70s day. 

Tuesday is Senior Auction Day. 

Wednesday is Switch Day.

Thursday is Senior Servant Day.

Friday is Red and White Day.

I borrowed a bra from Christi for Switch Day.

Jonathan is spending the night tonight.  He and I went to pick Kevin up this afternoon.  We didn’t have skit practice.  I wasn’t shocked.

Jonathan told me that everything with Kate is over.  She told him that she didn’t love him anymore and that everything was a mistake.  He still goes with Vicky.

Youth group was tonight, but things are different now.  I’m more interested in my future than I am in my past and present.  I’m looking forward to Lees-McRae and the mountains.  Jonathan and I are going to spend the whole day up there.

I want to grow up now.  It’s time to move on.  But still today, when I was over at Christi’s, we were talking about a Broadway Musical and it reminded me of a conversation we had had before.  I enjoyed it.  The Lord is going to use Christi in a great way.  And when he does, I want to be there to watch her smile.

This concludes this entry and I believe I accomplished what I tried to accomplish on August 24, 1993.

The reality of doing so scares me a little.