September 15, 1995 – Friday – 10:17 a.m.

Last night Craig and I had to write up a guy on my wall named Joey for having a bottle of whiskey in his room.  It was interesting and sort of fun.

Wednesday night after rehearsal and FCA I went with Jeff, Vince, and Allen to Beech Mountain.  We ran up a ski slope to a fountain and gazebo and then found the Land of Oz.  It’s like a different world up there.

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They are pretty cool guys.  Vince and Allen are from New York.  Jeff is from Richmond, Virginia.  And Dan is from West Virginia.  I might go home with Dan for fall break.  I haven’t decided yet.

On Wednesday I went up to Syndi’s room to give her my calculator.  She said she doesn’t see me anymore.  I said, “Well, the other day you said you didn’t like people assuming we were a couple and you wanted to put up a sign saying so, so by staying away I just put up the sign for you.”

She laughed and shook her head.  Which were two opposing messages.  Will I ever understand women?

I’m looking forward to the weekend so I can catch up on some homework.  I believe tomorrow I’m going to go to Boone to audition for being extras in some movies being shot in the region.

This 9th Book of Days here has covered two months already and I’m just halfway through.  I thought everything in this little green notebook would be about Emily, but I was wrong.  Syndi came along, but perhaps she has already left.

And now…

Well, I just take it a day at a time, making new friends, striving to be a better actor, and loving the Lord.

Please be with me Father.  Please stay close.

February 24, 1995 – Friday – 11:45 p.m.

I was right.

Those names are carved in Stone.

This past Monday, as I walked to classes I looked up at Beech Mountain, as I do everyday.  However, I did not see that my perception of that mountain was more beautiful on Monday.

Yet I didn’t know.

I didn’t realize how beautiful that mountain was on Monday until now.

This afternoon I called Jason, my old youth pastor and skit group director.

He is doing great.  It looks like he will be doing a Shakespeare program in Wisconsin this summer.  We talked about things and I told him I was going to become a skit group leader.  He told me that Matthew was really getting into theater at his school.

Then he told me that his family had finally gotten a phone.  He gave me their number and right after I got off the phone with him, I called to see if Christi was home.

Hank answered the phone.  He was the only one home.  He told me how things were going and he said that he would have Christi call me when she got in.

I ran lights for A Piece of My Heart, and then, about an hour after I got back, the phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Jacob?  Hey this is Christi.”

And it was.  It was her voice, her soul, her spirit.  My Christi.

She had received my letter.  She said she was going to write me back.  We simply talked.  She told me of the church she was attending, and I told her about Heaton.

I told her about Jeni and she told me about a guy she liked.  I told her about college and she told me about High School.

Then she said that her youth group went Skiing.

“Where?” I asked.

“On Beech Mountain!”

“Christi!  Do you realize where you were?”

“Yes, and that’s what kills me!”

She was so close to me.  It was Monday when she was on that mountain.

She was here, but she is gone.

After we had said goodbye I laid back in my bed and I couldn’t move.  I just looked up at the ceiling.

This has been a wonderful day.  Thank you Lord.

As I laid there, I dreamed of smiles and looks and smells.

But those warm summer evenings and beautiful sunsets have already come true with Christi.

And I am happy.

I am happy for the past.

There is nothing to wish for.  Because I can’t think of our relationship becoming any more perfect than it already is.

We are friends forever.

And forever will do.

November 5, 1994 – Saturday – 7:15 a.m.

Yesterday Jeni and I went to the top of Beech Mountain.  She loved it.  We were on top of the world together.  I also returned the yellow brick to it’s rightful spot.

But that night, something happened.  We were on her bed, holding each other and kissing, and then she got on top of me and kissed me more and well, something completely natural happened.  I, already being erect in my pants, uh…let loose a load, if you know what I mean.

I was embarrassed more than anything.  It took me a while, but I told Jeni and she felt bad.  I told her I was sorry, but that it was no big deal and that stuff like that happens to a guy, even when he is asleep.  It’s completely natural.

I went back to my room and took a shower and changed clothes.  I came back to her room and she was crying.  Remember when I told you that Jeni and her ex-boyfriend went a little too far one night?  Well, what just happened between us reminded her of that.  And what is all boiled down to was that she was scared because she says that even though she is not sure we will be together forever, she very much would like for us to be.  She doesn’t want her heart to break again.  She was afraid to love me anymore than she already did.  I told her that if we don’t last forever that the only thing we’ll remember is love.  So, let it be love, let us grow.

We prayed for God’s will to happen in our lives and to keep us pure.  We were okay, so we went to another girl’s room and watched Swing Kids.  It was a little slow, but great!

Afterward, we went to her room and I fell in love with her more and more.  I couldn’t stop looking at her and even now, I can’t stop thinking about her.

She is the greatest girl I have ever known.

November 2, 1994 – Wednesday – 3:00 p.m.

At this moment I sit on a large rock, surrounded by rushing water and other large rocks.  I sit in the middle of the Elk River near the back campus of Lees-McRae College in Banner Elk, North Carolina.

The past 18 years of my life have brought me here to this moment.

Lees-McRae College!

My lifestyle will be very different five years from now.

But I am on a quest.  A journey!  I want to show the whole world the love of Christ.  That is all.  That is why I am here.

While I’m doing that I will love the Lord and worship him in all I do.  In order to show the love of Christ to this world I must learn.  Nothing I learn will be wasted.

This land, these mountains, they have been placed here by God.  Two days ago I stood on top of Beech Mountain and saw the whole world.  I realized then how small I was.

Yet, just like these mountains, I too have been placed here.

And since God can move mountains he will one day move me.

And I will go and add to my collection; not forgetting the ones behind.

Because, like the mountains, God has placed them here to help me and to teach me.

I am thankful for them.

And I will remember them.

November 1, 1994 – Tuesday – 1:10 a.m.

Earlier today (Monday) I ran into Ellen and Suzanne and we, on the spur of the moment, went up to the very top of Beech Mountain.  I honestly believe that I saw the whole world.

Several years ago there was a small amusement park up there called The Land of Oz and the yellow brick road is still there.  It’s a little run down, but it was amazing to actually find a true yellow brick road on top of this huge mountain.  Purely magical.  Suzanne was so amazed, she took a brick.  After we returned she gave it to me.  I don’t want it, I feel like it should have stayed on the mountain.  When Jeni gets back I’ll take her up there and we’ll put it back together.  Then I can hold her hand and stroll down the yellow brick road on top of the world.

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The concert was great tonight.  The Holy Spirit was there.  So many young people came to know Christ.  I really like this church.  I know Jeni would have enjoyed it tonight.

Afterwards, Charlie and Jason and I watched Jurassic Park on video.

And today was the first full day in six weeks in which I haven’t kissed Jeni.