April 27, 1999 – Tuesday – 5:49 p.m.

I’ve been thinking a lot today.  It feels as though Regent University has no true community, no roots, no sense of place within itself.  It’s a 20-year-old school, where the average student is 35-years-old, married, and has children, and it is part of the largest city in the state of Virginia!  Lees-McRae is over 100-years-old, and is nestled is a small corner of the Blue Ridge Mountains where the town and the school couldn’t exist without each other.

I’ve moved from a school where everyone knew my name, to a school where they don’t even stop and say hello.  And yet this place is suppose to be preparing Christian leaders.  Something is not right here.  People care more about their grades than their classmates.  No one seems to be taking the time to simply be with the people around them.  Is that what adulthood is?

Oh save me God!  This simply shouldn’t be.  Help me not conform to the ways of this place, but to be present with them, to know them, to love them.

May 25, 1998 – Monday – 4:29 p.m.

My life has just begun, yet I already feel tired.  There are just so many people out there in the world.

Sarah and I had such an amazing weekend.  Our relationship has gotten so tight recently.  Saturday afternoon, wow!  She had my body on fire and shaking uncontrollably.  We are still virgins, of course, but I think we went too far.  We talked about it yesterday and while she was quiet she seem to agree that we shouldn’t go that far again.

I saw Christi and Jason yesterday.  I met her fiancé and Jason is getting married in three weeks and moving to Seattle.  Both Matt and Andy are going to move to Wilmington and try to get into the small film industry there.

My parents gave me $500 to help with the missions trip.  Thirty-six days remain until I leave for VA Beach, and then seven until I fly out to Dallas.  I’ve never been to Texas before.  And I found out Regent gave me a $2000 grant for next year, so that’s great news!

Here I am.

I’m almost 22-years-old, and I’ve had a steady girlfriend for half a year now, which is a record for me.  I’m going to leave the country for the first time since 1982.  I’m planning out which graduate courses I’ll take for the next two years at Regent.  And I’m currently paying rent for an apartment I have yet to see.  And I’ll soon be sharing that apartment with someone I’ve never met.

My parents are moving close to my long lost romantic pen pal.  My friends are getting married, even those younger than me.  No one truly close to me has yet to die, however, deep down, I have a feeling that I’m going to live a very long time and see experience many people die along the way.

And when I am old, gray, and wrinkled, I will be haunted by all the beautiful eyes and smiles I’ve seen along the way.

I’ll even be haunted by these pages I so diligently write in.